To think friend treated me like shit today?

[OneStrangeRocj]

Was going over to hers for bbq today. It’s been planned ages. I saw her Thursday and again confirmed.

She text me this morning to say she’s going on a date in the morning but will call me on her way back to arrange a time to come over.

Obviously it’s now late afternoon. She’s not called.

I essentially got dropped for a man she’s known for 2 days.

You could be talking about a friend of mine. I have had this many times and won’t make arrangements with that friend anymore.

I'd be fuming tbh.
Once you know she's definitely OK then don't make any more arrangements with her.
I cannot abide unreliable " friends."
Erase them from your life.

I haven't been let down in this particular way, but one (ex) friend would never make plans with me because, as she used to say, "I don't know what I'll be doing then".

Well, you could be doing something with me..............

Purplealienpuke

I meant nothing I can do about it in terms of nothing I can do to get her to make me a priority. She's had some really big things going on in her life recently, so I've no intention of dropping her, but there will be no more open-ended arrangements!

There was one lunch invitation which ended up as something like calling in at a fundraising event she'd promised to support, meeting her friend for coffee, then meeting her for lunch after she'd gone to an optician's appointment - I ended up saying I'd rather meet on another day when she hadn't got so much on!

YANBU, OP. I too find the collective response of MN completely at odds to what I think sometimes as well as what I thought would be the response (not always the same I might add).
Someone had invited you around to a BBQ at their house and by not confirming the time, they effectively rescinded the invitation without telling you which to me is rude. Your friend is a bit of an asshat, to quote a favourite MN expression.

I'd be tempted to do the same. Make plans with her, then drop out at the last minute in favour of something else. It may pave a way to open up and show her how she made you feel (albeit a bit petty). Or just tell her you're not the consolation prize and if plans are made with you, you don't expect to be dropped. Maybe she doesn't realise.

She’s a cow.

You don’t ditch plans with someone at the last minute like that.