To think friend treated me like shit today?

[OneStrangeRocj]

Was going over to hers for bbq today. It’s been planned ages. I saw her Thursday and again confirmed.

She text me this morning to say she’s going on a date in the morning but will call me on her way back to arrange a time to come over.

Obviously it’s now late afternoon. She’s not called.

I essentially got dropped for a man she’s known for 2 days.

Friend could have easily texted earlier saying bbq plans were off out of courtesy.

You've actually had some supportive comments on here. There are always going to be some negative comments on AIBU, it goes with the territory. Your friend was insensitive and I understand why you're annoyed. But as you've said, she has form for behaving this way.

Next time invite more than one friend then you'll still have a fun time if one of them makes other arrangements.

MN is crazy sometimes. Of course you’re upset, who wouldn’t be. You made plans with a friend, and she let you down, without leaving you enough time to make alternative plans. How can anyone say you’re needy?
If someone posted saying “I’ve arranged to spend the afternoon with a friend, but my morning date was more fun so I’m just not going to bother contacting my friend”, then they’d be rightly slated.

I can understand being annoyed, I can. However, I still stick to thinking being ‘hurt’ is an overreaction. Friend has gone on date, it’s evidently gone well, why not be happy for her? She’s been rude not updating you, but you could have easily just texted her asking ‘oii I know you’re loved up, but at least let me know about this afternoon!’. If you want her to know your annoyed tell her so. Sitting on MN feeling sorry for yourself won’t solve the situation or make her realise you’re upset.

Being inconsiderate isn’t treating someone like shit, and flouncing makes you a bit of a drama llama.

YANBU

It is shitty of her not to have at least contacted you. I'd be pissed off too if I'd made plans and then my day had been wasted because "friend" decided they had better things to do at last minute and didn't even let me know.

I'd bin her off OP. The fact that she hasn't even contacted you says a lot about her. Forget her and plan something nice to do tomorrow (that doesn't include her!)

And have one of these from me

Dropping friends at the last minute for a sudden hot date is only acceptable if your friendship all accept it. It does reek of desperation however.
Sometimes a good friend is really needed. Oh yes, of course, she really needed your friendship and company when she was 'between men'! You don't need friends like her.

Maybe she was just desperate for a shag but didn't want to tell you that?

Certainly does reek of desperation however pretty she may be. Op sorry you've had a hard time off some of the posters. Hope you enjoy rest of bank holiday with not so shitty mates x

Crap friend of the year award.
Bank holiday worst if on your own and didn't want to be.
Ghost her

She's being bloody stupid prioritising a man she met two days ago over a friend

Her friend is ‘desperate’? Fucking hell, why don’t some go all out and just call her a slag . The op even said that they were taking pictures out and about, so obviously hit it off. But no, she’s obviously a dirty stop-out who hates her friends according to MN, rather than someone who was having a good time with a prospective new boyfriend and lost track of time.

I'm pretty quick to think some people sound needy but I'd be thoroughly pissed off in your position. YANBU.

OP: the sausage joke was a little funny but no-one is laughing at your pain. I know how you feel - it always feel rotten to be dumped for the "better offer" but it is your friend's loss. Treat yourself tonight to something nice and then cut this friend out of your life (or limit your contact with her

Well I'm certainly sympathetic OP. She's shown no loyalty to you, so when he disappears and she want a shoulder to cry on, make sure you're too busy to oblige.

Horrible behaviour.

Edmund, settle down fella, women are allowed to be dirty stop-outs too.

EdmundCleverClogs Would you let down a friend in this way then?

What's it got to do with being a slag?

It’s just typical behaviour from her. To the point I went nc with her for 7 months. She got in touch with me and then for the last month she’s been a good friend ... then I get tossed aside

Well then more fool you, frankly.

I would not be available next time she wants to see you,or ever.

Edmund, settle down fella, women are allowed to be dirty stop-outs too.

Not a fella, and it always seems to be the woman. You’d never see a bloke being ripped apart and moaned about because he went on a date and forgot about dinner with Dave.

Would you let down a friend in this way then?

No, I always try and be a good friend. No one is perfect though, and I’ve been ‘stood up’ before. Friend was apologetic, but honestly shit happens from time to time. I wouldn’t be hurt, I certainly wouldn’t think my friend was ‘desperate’ - I mean, that’s a pretty hurtful thing to call a friend, isn’t it?

I’ve not denied the friend has been rude, that’s obvious. But either brush it off as being a bit silly over a guy, or tell her it was rude. This is all a bit much. Then again, the op only seems to have form for bad friends, hopefully this isn’t the same one who insulted her Facebook picture.

The thing is Edmund, most of us have had a friend who prioritised any man above their mates. It's a thing that some women do and it's really unattractive.

Unfortunately there are women out there, who never get over the teenage infatuation stage of being so totally into a bf that their friends become an inconvenience.

I appreciate your hurt feelings. Don't waste anymore time on her and get stuck into something, cake making, a box set it contacting other friends.

I've been in a similar situation before - years ago, I arranged the day before to meet a 'friend' and go shopping for my birthday. Next day I waited about an hour at the bus stop for her, got fed up of waiting and when I texted to see where she was, she'd made other arrangements without bothering to tell me.
I don't talk to her any more (for a few reasons besides her being a bit unreliable), haven't regretted letting her go either.
YANBU to feel hurt because it's inconsiderate at best.

I hope you come back and read some of the more positive messages on here, OP. I completely get why you’re hurt, it’s shit to plan a date in the morning when you have plans, that was always going to overrun (unless he was a twat, in which case I’m sure she would have identified that on the first date!) Even worse to ignore your calls and happily post about her fun day on Facebook when she knows she flaked on you.

I’d be pretty pissed off at the waste of a day BUT my plan of action would be to not text her, wait for her to message you. If she doesn’t message, then you know she’s a dick. If she messages and says she’s ready now you can either a) go ahead as planned and pretend it’s cool, b) go ahead as planned and tell her you’re pissed off when you see her or c) tell her she’s a twat!

Hope the rest of your day gets better

Bit daft of her arranging bbq on a day she has a date. If she really likes him she's hardly going to rush off