To think friend treated me like shit today?

[OneStrangeRocj]

Was going over to hers for bbq today. It’s been planned ages. I saw her Thursday and again confirmed.

She text me this morning to say she’s going on a date in the morning but will call me on her way back to arrange a time to come over.

Obviously it’s now late afternoon. She’s not called.

I essentially got dropped for a man she’s known for 2 days.

^ I know that’s suppose to be funny and maybe if I wasn’t so upset I’d laugh. But hey at least others found my hurt funny.

But hey at least others found my hurt funny.

Really? Over a barbecue? Are you always this needy with friends?

Sorry OP I didn't mean to offend you with the sausage joke.
It is hurtful if she continually picks up the friendship and then drops it in favour of a man.
Perhaps send her a message explaining that you were hurt she completely "forgot" your plans to meet this weekend and disappointed she didn't contact you to explain.

@OneStrangeRocj

I don't find your hurt funny. Wherever did you get that idea?

I can't, however, resist a double entendre I'm afraid.

I don't think strangers would be giving their free time to help you with this if they didn't care a bit.

You mention your friend's behaviour is not new. I think you need to challenge her on this rather than get more and more hurt by her every time she does this to you. I doubt it's personal (it's probably borne of her own insecurities), but it still doesn't give her carte blanche to treat you so shabbily.

Just dont make any further arrangements with her, she sounds like a user.

It's cheeky on her part but I would have expected more people to be invited to a bbq than just one friend. It hardly seems worth it for just one guest. DH and I haven't had a bbq for a while but we used to invite a group of friends when doing them. One friend not coming wouldn't have upset me at all. (Although the short notice isn't fair.)

She's a shit friend. She could have at least sent you a text.

I'd actually send her a text to let her know I'm getting ready, whether she needs anything getting from the supermarket on the way, and ask what time we are meeting for the BBQ, because I'm petty like that.

"Are you always this needy with friends?"

How is it needy to expect an arrangement to be adhered to & not be dumped for a new date?

She's been dropped in favour of a new man. Of course she's upset; I would be, too. It's not "needy".

Just put this down to experience, op. Make new plans on your own or with someone different, and wait for her to call you grovelling.

Rose - apt user name.

Well your user name is rather apt isn’t it Rose?!

Cross posted twice!

Really over a barbecue. Are you always this needy with friends.

That not the point though. It's not nice when you get let down. Unless there is a valid reason and going to shag a bloke you've never met is not a valid reason.
Op could have been looking forward to this barbecue.
I'd be fucking her off to be honest. You said yourself that it's not our of character.
She's made her choice and her choice is him.

I don’t blame you for being upset. I don’t think you’re needy either!

I think I would be distancing myself again. Let her get on with it. Hope you’ve found something to do today x

ODFOR. What are you a barrell of laughs..

At most it’s worth an eye roll. It’s certainly not worth being ‘hurt’ and ‘upset’. You know what she’s like, either be flexible or decide the friendship doesn’t work for you.

See what other friends are up to tonight if you want to go out.

Good one Bayliss "Hi friend, I'm at your door with a packet of Cumberland and some soft baps. Where are you??? I'm so worried"

Thinking about it, it is unusual to have a bbq for 2 people. Unless she's let down an entire group of invitees
Bad form indeed.

Can someone please clarify to me, how it’s needy to be upset when you’ve been let down by a so called friend, in favour of a bloke she’s known 5 minutes?! After a longstanding arrangement?!

MN really is backwards. If we hadn’t made plans then yes it would be needy to expect her to drop what she’s doing today to see me. But that isn’t the situation.

I honour plans I make with people. Because it is hurtful to be let down.

Rose I saw people leave a thread yesterday because you commented and I couldn’t understand it. Now I do.

Can someone please clarify to me, how it’s needy to be upset when you’ve been let down by a so called friend, in favour of a bloke she’s known 5 minutes?! After a longstanding arrangement?!

It isn’t. But on MN some people only have lives that include partners and children. Anyone outside that circle it’s ok to treat like shit and think their feelngs are nothing.

The sausage joke is funny. Fucking hell it'd be an even more miserable world if we weren't allowed to laugh at life.
It's the needy and he's better company comments that's pissed me off.

I’m done with this thread now, I already feel like shit so really should have known better than to post on here.

I'm wondering about who would post pics online about a first/second date??? and who goes on dates in the morning? Maybe I'm out of touch...

OP she should've msged to say "sorry rain check" at the very least.

The sausage joke is funny. It’s a rib tickler. Must be high steaks for that date.

I’ll stop now before it gets too corn-y.

Sorry OP. Shit friend. Dump her right back.