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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people 'don't drive'

974 replies

ZX81user · 06/05/2018 13:07

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

OP posts:
FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends · 06/05/2018 14:39

The time I did this it was 4hr journey back home to mother

My family are half an hour away. If I lived far away from a support system I probably would have learnt to drive. But I don't.

RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot · 06/05/2018 14:41

Lots of people living in our street don't drive - 5 minutes walk from the local tram network which can get you into the city centre and connect with buses, or trains. If you're working somewhere that's likely to be served by transport - what's the need? Don't even need to drive to do your supermarket shop these days (back in the day my mum learnt to drive she passed her test and almost kissed the examiner as "you don't know what this means to me - I can go to Asda!")

GreyGardens88 · 06/05/2018 14:41

AutoFilled, I think driving in NZ is a lot different to the UK. In NZ it's mainly miles of empty roads connecting small communities/towns, in the UK it's gridlock and motorways and full of stress

WilburIsSomePig · 06/05/2018 14:42

Because they don't want to?

I don't care if someone drives or not, as long as they don't want me to take them everywhere. Nowt to do with me. Or you.

DorothyParker111 · 06/05/2018 14:42

Just to clarify who is freeloading off whom ...

To wonder why people 'don't drive'
OutsideContextProblem · 06/05/2018 14:43

Londoner. I have a licence and use of a car but am so out of practice that I’d be a menace on the roads. DH drives us when necessary. If absolutely necessary I’d relearn, but at this point I’m waiting for self-driving cars to be perfected.

thefuckiswrongwithyou · 06/05/2018 14:43

But too difficult, can’t learn, being crap at it just sound stupid.

No it doesn't sound stupid. It's perfectly easy to be a non driver in this country so you decided if it's worth it and safe to be one.

You man not have met any non drivers in New Zealand but you have 1000% met some who should NOT be driving. Unfortunately like in the states is a lot more of a necessity so people make unwise decisions to drive.

Tamsin82 · 06/05/2018 14:44

Not driving means I'm rich. I just pay for a cab on the odd occasion I need one

Echobelly · 06/05/2018 14:44

I learned to drive between DC1 & 2. With 1 child I could cope OK, but didn't fancy public transport with 2 in tow. In London, if you don't have kids or any disability and you don't need to drive for work, you don't need to drive, hence I hadn't yet. I'd had an attempt to learn post uni 10 years earlier but it hadn't been a success!

Not driving I think did create a problem with my NCT group - due to an ongoing evening commitment, I did an intensive weekend course rather than a weekly one, and I think because of that, the group was quite dispersed around North London. I was the only non-driver, and I think that prevented me really bonding with the group as it wasn't like I could just 'pop over' to see people and I think non-drivers saw public transport as a massive faff (I didn't) and so were less likely to ask me over as they'd assume it was putting me to too much trouble.

I have to say, as an older learner it was hard going, I would recommend learning sooner rather than later. OTOH, had I done so I wouldn't have then driven for years.

flippyfloppyflower · 06/05/2018 14:45

HildaZelda I don't drive but I do NOT hassles other people for lifts. The only lifts I ever get are from my sister - once a month for a big shop that we both do together and lifts from the hospital after major surgery when I could not use public transport. Please do NOT assume that all non-drivers are cheeky souls who keep trying to get lifts.

user1497787065 · 06/05/2018 14:45

I think this very much depends where you live. If you live rurally there is rarely or at best infrequent public transport. Driving is then seen as an absolute priorityat 17.

Echobelly · 06/05/2018 14:45

Like Tamsin, pre-husband and kids I just payed for a taxi back from the supermarket once a week!

GorgonLondon · 06/05/2018 14:47
  1. I live in a big city and always have done
  2. I like walking 3)I like buses
  3. i like tubes
  4. i like trains
  5. I hate sitting in Cars
  6. I hate motorway journeys
  7. my kids always throw up in the car
  8. you can't work or read in a car 10)it keeps us fit and healthy
  9. there is nowhere to park on my street
  10. cars are so expensive and break down constantly
lifechangesforever · 06/05/2018 14:47

I couldn't imagine life without driving. How do you go do a big shop if you don't have a car, how do you visit family that live miles away, how do you get somewhere in an emergency, what if schools aren't within walking distance?

We've just gone from 2 cars to 1 (because I commute on the bus) that was enough of a change for me and I don't think it will work once DD is here.

BlackBetha · 06/05/2018 14:47

I can drive, but don't. I have terrible spatial awareness and poor concentration, so it's really safer for everyone if I just don't. Fortunately, I can get around fine on foot or by public transport, so it doesn't seem worth taking the risk.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/05/2018 14:47

Because not everyone possesses the skills to. I am learning to drive again after failing 4 manual driving tests 20 years ago, and I feel like giving up. I have 4 lessons, learning on an automatic, and I am still finding it hard. I am anxious, have dyspraxia and dyslexia, and find it so hard to concentrate on multiple things at once.

SabineUndine · 06/05/2018 14:48

I failed my driving test when I was 18. I never retook it. I was a crap driver, the roads are safer without me. Public transport is more environmentally friendly anyway.

OrangeKitten · 06/05/2018 14:48

You say you understand medical conditions. What about metal health reasons? Anxiety, panic attacks, severe depression etc? I passed my test but don't drive any more because of the above. Just want to know if that's a good enough reason in your eyes to be exempt from it Hmm

corythatwas · 06/05/2018 14:50

Half of my extended family don't drive. The general attitude we've grown up with is it is environmentally irresponsible unless there is a real reason (work, disability) that forces us. So we tend to choose to live near work or at least near public transport.

In my case, I also have a visual impairment so can't, but probably wouldn't anyway. I don't expect others to give me a lift, though it does make life difficult when people plan get-togethers quite unnecessarily in locations which require a car. Two swimming pools with same facilities, one within reach of public transport, and you insist we have to choose the other one because you like that one- and then it's my fault for not being able to get there without a lift.

My ds is learning atm, because the kind of job he might be looking for will probably require it. Dd is not, because there are far more important skills she should be spending her money on.

Dh's and I prefer walking holidays anyway, so not a problem.

Autofilled, if I'd lived in NZ I might have felt forced to blag my way through the eye test and go out on the roads. And as I have limited peripheral vision and very poor ability to judge distances (neither of which would be tested in an eye test) I might have ended up killing someone . Where would be the advantage of that?

My FIL did keep on driving with very similar issues. It was not a good thing. So did an elderly friend of ours. I was there when she nearly knocked a biker off his bike; it was hideous. And could easily have been me.

UpstartCrow · 06/05/2018 14:50

Not everyone can drive to a high enough standard to be safe in traffic. It would be irresponsible of me to drive.

There are skills I have that I know for a fact not everyone can do, even after lessons. I don't go around publically wondering why not everyone can do them. I already know.
We cant all do everything.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/05/2018 14:51

Drivers are making it out, that driving is so easy, it is not. You have to be able to divide your attention, and there are constant signs, road markings and roundabouts, you have to understand, know what you are doing, control your car, at speed. It is not easy for some people, that is why they don't drive.

daisypond · 06/05/2018 14:51

My parents thought it would be a useful life skill too, but it hasn't been. I passed my test at 17 but have rarely driven since. DH can drive too, but we live in London and have never owned a car. My children (older teens) don't drive and don't see the need to learn. It's really expensive to learn and we couldn't afford it anyway. We all use public transport with no issues. I hardly know anyone in London who owns a car.

happypoobum · 06/05/2018 14:52

How do you go do a big shop if you don't have a car, how do you visit family that live miles away, how do you get somewhere in an emergency, what if schools aren't within walking distance?

  1. I have the internet. My shopping could be delivered.
  2. I regularly visit family at the other end of the country. It is much faster to get there by train than driving. Far more relaxing too. Fares are cheaper than driving if you book in advance.
  3. By taxi. I live in a city (not London) where there are all night public transport services and taxis.
  4. They are. I chose to live somewhere where the schools were no further than a mile away.

By the way, I do drive, but it's very narrow minded to think these things aren't possible/actually a lot easier, if you don't drive.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/05/2018 14:54

Big shop- use online delivery, or get a taxi. To visit relatives, I get a train or dh drives. Get children to activities-taxi. There are many options rather than a car.

GorgonLondon · 06/05/2018 14:55

Oh yes didn't realise someone has asked about doing a big shop. are there really places that still don't have online shopping?!

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