To wonder why people 'don't drive'

[ZX81user]

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

I drive but neither of my adult DC is remotely interested. DD lives in central London, DS lives in home town which has amazing all night bus services, and bus stop is at the end of our drive. We are ten minutes stroll from train station.

I can see why they don't bother. They would rather I spent spare money on giving them opportunities to travel than driving lessons as it's a skill they probably won't ever need. If their lives change a lot then they can learn then.

So yes, YABU

I can drive but don't have a car as I live in a big city and it is far cheaper and quicker to get about by public transport. However if anyone wants to buy me a nice car and pay the insurance, tax, permit parking etc I'd be very happy

Also, been in a few accidents as a passenger as a child. Wasn't fun.

Because it would interfere with my drinking career 😉

Yep, agree with many valid points of pp's and am about the OP, have you actually met any poor people!? Also I lived in London until I was 30 so there is literally no point being a driver if you live and work there and use the trains/taxis/public transport when you work or travel in the rest of the world.

As far as my parents being 'responsible' for paying for me to learn - when I was a teen my parents couldn't afford to, in fact they were always a breath away from going under financially, despite working their arses off 7 days a week (failing business in the recession). They loved me, fed me, kept a roof over my head and were supportive and non-judgemental of my choices and some of the kindest people I've ever met. Couldn't have scraped the cash together for a lesson unless we all didn't eat that week. Pretty sure you haven't met people like that given the breathtakingly stupid sentiment of your OP though eh?

So in conclusion, what a blinkered OP showing a total lack of empathy for anyone whose circumstances or beliefs are different to your own...duh.

Dh doesn't drive. He can drive, but chooses not to, and we've only got one car which is mostly with me anyway.

He doesn't drive because a friend of his was killed when they were at uni. It was completely his friend's fault apparently, as he was drunk and ran in front of a car suddenly giving the driver no chance to stop. The police agreed that the driver was in no way at fault. Dh witnessed it, and quite aside from the trauma of watching his friend die, he also saw the massive impact of that night on the driver. He never, ever wants to be in that situation, where someone dies because of him not being able to stop quick enough.

If you ask him though, he says "I just don't need to, I don't go anywhere I can't get to on foot or by bus".

Lived in London until recently. Never needed to know how to drive as everything was within walking distance, and because of London's amazing transport network.

I'm only learning now because we live in the arse end of Kent

One of my colleagues has a licence but hasn't driven in 10 years because he lives in London.

I didn’t want to and now can’t as I’m partially sighted

Question for those above who say they choose not to, or ‘don’t bloody well want to’...how often do you request lifts as favours from others?

The only lifts I ever get are from people going to the same place and who genuinely don't mind picking me up and like the company and I always offer to contribute - eg we have a friend who takes me and DH to see football games, but only when he is going too. If we had a car we would probably all still go together to avoid wasting fuel.

I think some people can be cheeky requesting lifts that are out of people's way (eg that other thread on AIBU at the moment about the woman who wants an 8 hour round trip lift so she can get plastic surgery but won't pay towards it!!)

Crippling anxiety. That okay with you?

Because I failed three tests as a teen and haven't been able to afford to learn since.

Also, I'm extremely nervous.

It's a massive pita and limits my life enormously and yes, I wish my parents had given it as much emphasis as my A-Levels. Does that make you feel happy and smug?

Fair enough Volenta. I only ask because this thread currently appears immediately below the one where a non driver has asked friends for a lift, was refused and is now upset about it. Also requests for lifts are a frequent topic and cause of angst in AIBU.

I’m not criticising those who cannot afford to, have anxiety, health problems etc. However I’ve been at the receiving end of requests to ferry non drivers around because they chose not to learn, and it’s been annoying and has left me out of pocket.

Not driving is a completely valid choice of course and good for the environment. As long as us drivers are not expected to give lifts all the time because we can.

I understand why people choose not to drive or can't afford to. I don't like the blame 'my parents couldn't afford lessons or to buy me a car' neither could mine I worked from 15 including right through my degree (that I had no parental assistance with, not their fault) and paid for my own lessons, car and insurance... If you couldn't or had other priorities like having kids at 18 bully for you, but don't assume that everyone who has driven from a young age (or owns their own house while we're on the topic) had masses of financial input from elsewhere. My parents have only stopped financially struggling since I turned 30, I'm only 33 now.

I never ask for a lift. I spend hours on buses or stay in. If someone offers, I say yes and am very grateful.

Also, I agree with many people. learning to drive is expensive!

They say on average you need 40 hours to learn
Driving schools charge upwards of £20 per hour
Then factor in the actual driving tests (theory and practical)
Then when you've finally learnt, you need to pay for the car, insurance, MOT, petrol, car tax, repairs.... Unless you're going to be driving on a regular basis, it's not worth it.

My mum offered to pay for driving lessons for me when I was 17/18. I said no as I had no interest in driving. She really wanted me to learn as she didn't pass until her 40s and as a result is a nervous driver, always said she feels she'd have been more confident if she'd done it when younger.

I'm now 27 and have just got my provisional. I'm sick of public transport and having to ask my parents for lifts. I have 2 children and can't take them places I would like to unless my parents can take us. I'm a single parent receiving benefits so learning to drive is going to be a very slow process. I'm looking for work at the moment and see a lot of jobs that would suit me but require a driving licence or are too far away.

I wish I'd listened to my mum and learned when she offered as I now feel nervous at the thought of learning and genuinely don't see myself ever being able to do it.

Personally I'm too anxious. I'm terrible as a passenger and would be a hazard on the road as a driver. It's safe if I don't!

My car is my lifeline but if I had to start from scratch the crippling costs would put me off

I will be insisting the dds learn and pass their tests as early as possible. Whether they choose to run a car is another matter I won't get my hand up my arse over.
I couldn't cope with a car personally at home or at work but I can only speak for myself.

Question for those above who say they choose not to, or ‘don’t bloody well want to’...how often do you request lifts as favours from others?

Never.

My Grandmother didn't drive because after the car accident she was involved in (not as the driver) she never got her confidence back.

When I lived in London, I never needed to drive so rarely did.

Now I live in a place that London forgets exists until election time, I have to drive because all bar one of our public transport services have been shut down. I hasten to add that this isn't rural, but a University town.

I don't because I never wanted to learn. Plus I couldn't afford to anyway.
I think you're a bit rude op

Obviously I accept lifts from my husband but i dont really view that as 'lifts'
Apart from that I have accepted one lift this year and I paid for petrol (with a friend to a theme park)

When I was working I sometimes accepted lifts home with people who offered who were going the same way.... Theyd just drop me off wherever was convenient for them, not take me to my door or anything, and I always offered them money (altho that was not always accepted) and I never actually asked anyone for a lift.

I actually have a phobia about getting into cars with people I do not know and trust due to an incident with an abusive ex.
I find it hard to even accept be driven somewhere by my own parents when they visit. Cant be in a car with anyone but my husband driving for more than half an hour at all.

I passed 3rd time in 1993 but since then have no confidence. Had some more lessons last year and went to local shops but still have no confidence so dont bother now.

It's greener. You're welcome.