To wonder why people 'don't drive'

[ZX81user]

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

I "don't drive". My parents didn't drive. We lived in a northern city for the majority of my childhood, we went on buses and trains, did day trips and I never felt deprived by not having access to a car. We did have a company car in the garage Dad had been given it with his job. It stayed in the garage and got towed away eventually when a family of mice moved into the engine! We went on long walks on Ilkley moor bar t'at etc. When we moved to an Essex new town we remained car free, there were cycle paths all over and a train station with links to London so again no issue. We couldn't really afford a car and learning to drive never really seemed an option. I had friends who could drive it was definitely more of a thing than when I lived in the city - there was always a few of us who couldn't drive/ didn't have a car so we pooled resources and shared the costs for trips that required a car. But as we were teens most of our socialising involved drinking so driving was not a good idea much of the time!!!

As an adult I have remained unconvinced of the necessity of driving and my ability to learn. I have 5 siblings and only one of us has learned and she drives regularly. The rest of us haven't learned, we are all functional working grown ups with kids, jobs, houses etc. But the driving gene seems to be absent. I haul shopping home in a trolley and do internet shopping. Dh drives so we have a car but we have had the same car for 14 years and the mileage is pretty low. I don't ask for lifts i often actively avoid them as I get car sick. I see the advantages of driving but a car is a pain in the area as well. When I lived in London i worked for a central London borough in their parking dept - dealing with queues of pissed off residents brandishing their documents to get permits and appeal parking tickets for their "own fucking street"! It really gave the lie to those bollocky car adverts with beautiful people wearing oversized sunglasses driving down long open roads, shiny penis extensions vehicles gliding through glamorous urban landscapes and getting admiring glances, parking wherever... Nope. Let the train take the strain!

Some people just don’t want to. So many possible reasons for this.

Lived in London until 34.

Then was in a write off car accident and was terrified of the idea of driving. Slowly learning now

If you are city based and have access to good public transport links then fine. However I live rurally and can’t actually
get anywhere by public transport, if I didn’t drive I would be completely isolated.

What I do judge is fellow Social Workers who don’t drive and then have to rely on colleagues to do half their job for them.

I'm learning to drive in my 20s. Didn't learn before because:

I'm autistic and have anxiety, so getting into the car with a driving instructor was a huge issue to begin with. On top of that having some issues with executive functioning and processing makes learning to drive difficult because it's a lot of things to concentrate on at once, plus an instructor telling you where to go (and often being quite critical, which is hard to deal with!)

Money. Driving lessons are expensive. Insurance is really expensive. Keeping a car is expensive.

I could get wherever I wanted to on public transport.

I'm learning to drive now because I need to for the career I want to get into. I also want the freedom of being able to go to events knowing I can leave as soon as I want to.

We don't drive as we live in a capital city and also try not to damage the environment if we can help it (we are certainly not perfect in this respect). So we walk and take buses or underground, or trains for longer distances. It's also cheaper!

She, like many others who can't drive/won't drive, constantly scrounges lifts off us drivers though
I can't remember the last time somebody gave me a lift. I turn down offers of lifts often though. As I dislike travelling by car. Funny that. I much prefer walking/ public transport where you can move around.

And you can't have applied for many decent jobs, if you have NEVER applied for one that requires driving as a skill
If an employer required I drive I would turn them down straight away, and that would be their loss. If you have in demand skills and experience your potential employer will not be specifying how you get to and from work, they will be competing for you not the other way around.

With the cost of trains now, (and the time it takes for some journeys!) it's ridiculous to travel by train when you can drive
I love train journeys, time to relax and read, kids can play and walk around and use toilet whenever needed, straight into city centre, book ahead and first class isn't much more so table service.
Hate hate hate sitting strapped in a car, travel sickness, getting stuck in traffic, dangerous, fumes, can't attend to kids properly as all strapped in. And driving when you could use a train is environmentally selfish.

Me and my husband and 2 kids wanted to go to Edinburgh several years ago; from where we lived, it would have cost us £380 return for all 4.
I would have happily paid more for the much more enjoyable train journey, lucky I managed to get a "decent" job without a driving licence then...

Also, it's almost impossible to cope without a car, when you have an actual JOB, and kids at different schools (that are in opposite directions to where you live, and both at least 5 miles away!)
I make life choices that don't require me to drive, because it is unpleasant and polluting and damaging to our cities (congestion, air pollution, making the streets less safe). I live where we can get to work without using a car and there are several great schools within walking distance. If you have a choice, why would you live somewhere where you need to drive everywhere?
Btw our neighbours drive everywhere, even though there is absolutely no need in our area. It's often about perception.

It's OK to not drive if you have zero responsibilities, and no kids
Because I am responsible and have kids I don't want to make their environment worse.

You can afford to be a 'I care about the environment' hipster then

When our kids grow up they will be fucking furious that we have damaged their planet so irreversibly.
The anger that many of our generation feel about house prices and pensions is nothing compared to how justifiably angry our children will be with our generation.

When you have a job, your kids go to different schools, you have elderly parents to care for, and you live in a village with lousy public transport, let's see how your 'I DON'T DRIVE' bollocks pans out then
Don't make your life choices around needing to drive. Then you will have a life where you don't need to drive.

My parents were quite unusual in not driving. My DM hauled home the shopping for a family of 6 and we walked to school in all weathers; my dad rode to the station on a tiny lady's bike handed down from a cousin of mine.

Now in their mid-80s, they seem to suffer less than their contemporaries from mobility problems. My dad still sets off to the shops with his trolley bag.

Driving is very expensive. Cost of car, cost of insurance, tax, MOT, parking permits, maintenance, etc, not to mention cost of lessons. Why waste your money if you don't have to? I've not even been in a car, even as a passenger, for many years.

I can drive but don't have a car due to the fact running one and paying for childcare would wipe out any possible earnings. I'd rather be a bus wanker and be with my kids.

It limits were you can work
What job you can do
We’re you can live
And we’re your children can go to school

In my opinion cars are much more limiting.
My kids can't play out in the street due to the danger from cars.
They can't walk to school on their own for the same reason.
The congestion at rush hour delays everyone getting home, even cyclists and buses, so many selfish people sitting solo in a car.
I want to cycle with my kids but don't because I'm worried about the danger from cars.
Inhaling diesel fumes is dangerous. More asthma, heart disease, dementia, cancer. We are all harmed by that, and it costs the country money.

Because I choose not to drive I live in a beautiful area with cycle paths and parks rather than busy roads, i walk my kids to school, we get exercise on the way to work by running/ cycling, our kids walk and scoot places at weekends and get exercise. It's a great lifestyle and has been improved be choices I've made to avoid driving.

I can't afford to drive. Ten years ago I was saving for lessons, but it turned into saving for a house deposit instead. Then I didn't have money for lessons - even if I did I couldn't afford a car. As I can walk to work and DH can't I'd have few opportunities to use DHs car so the times when it would be useful for me to drive (like when visiting his parents, it's a four -five hour drive) I probably wouldn't feel safe doing it anyway.

I didn't drive for many years mostly because I didn't need to or want to.

At some points I didn't have the money to.
I didn't need to because I always moved close to my place of work.
I lived in a city where it was quicker to cycle.
It was cheaper all round to pay for a bus, a taxi or a train than it was to own, maintain and run a car.
Didn't feel it held me back in anyway.
I love walking and cycling and knowing exactly how long my journey will take irrespective of traffic conditions (really useful if you work in emergency and critical care 😂)

I learned a couple of years ago when my son was a few months old. I do love the convenience of being able to drive. It makes It easier to spend our days exploring the countryside but I do miss cycling everywhere immensely.

Me and my husband and 2 kids wanted to go to Edinburgh several years ago; from where we lived, it would have cost us £380 return for all 4. It cost us £65 return in petrol.

That is the wrong comparison though. You have only counted the petrol. You have forgotten all the upfront costs of owning a car - road tax insurance price depreciation MOT maintenance - which you have already paid for and which you should split among all the journeys you make. It is true that rail fares can be very expensive, but a better comparison would be (on the one hand) the rail fare plus local transport or taxis, and (on the other hand) the cost of hiring a car to take you there and back and to ferry you about while you are there.

You obviously need a car but the car only works out cheaply for holidays because you are also using it so much of the time for so many other purposes. So your upfront costs are very spread out. If your children could walk to school and you couldn't park at work (etc) then owning a car might turn into an expensive luxury and hiring a car wouldn't necessarily be cheaper than the train.

This thread gets trotted out on a disturbingly regular basis.

I had several driving lessons when I was 17. I had more than one useless instructor; however, I was also probably a nightmare pupil. I have zero aptitude for driving and progress was very slow, even allowing for the shit instructors.

Before 2010, I only ever lived in suburbs wheel-served by public transport or in the city centre. I then moved to a London suburb where I live five minutes’ walk from a mainline train into central London and 15 minutes’ walk from the Tube. To park a car, I would need a permit (with a cost attached). I couldn’t drive to work as there is no parking at my office. My main use for a car would be to visit my parents - who live on a suburban rail line that runs every ten minutes out of a major city. That’s a lot of expense for a trip once every six weeks.

Certain Mumsnetters assume anyone who gets a lift anywhere is lazy and ‘entitled’. In reality, if two people are going to the same place, they probably take one car. Two drivers share one car? No one bats an eyelid - in fact, you’re saving carbon emissions. Two people share a car because one can’t drive? She’s a lazy, selfish, ‘entitled’ bitch.

It's strange, I wouldn't for a moment consider that not driving limits where I work. I wouldn't take a job that had a 2 hour commute by public transport, but it wouldn't make a difference whether I had a car or not as I wouldn't want to be driving for an hour every morning and evening either!

Thank you AndrewOfOgg .

With reference to the the environmental POV, both DH and I drive electric cars. No emissions and you don’t pay tax.

Its all horses for courses I suppose.

If I lived in central London, I maybe wouldn't and even though i love driving and I am not nervous etc, central London driving is not fun at all.

Personally I would find it too restrictive to my life. My job is a 10 minute walk from the train station, but I would need to get a bus into town to get the train then walk to work. Would take 60-75 minutes driving takes 30!mins. And if I need to stop off at the supermarket or a friends etc I can. Public transport isn't great imo unless you live in a biggish city and work in it or another. Any deviation from this and it's a ball ache.

When you have a job, your kids go to different schools, you have elderly parents to care for, and you live in a village with lousy public transport, let's see how your 'I DON'T DRIVE' bollocks pans out then

If that’s your life then fine - drive. Who is telling you that you can’t? However, I fucking massively object to the suggestion that there’s something wrong with me because I don’t need to drive.

My commute would be a lot shorter if I had a car but I get to watch Netflix shows, catch up on twitter, send a few emails and fit in 1 hour walking a day into it. It fits my life so why are other people so bothered about it?

busysittingdown unless you power your electric cars by solar batteries you have broadly similar emissions to the more fuel efficient diesel/ hybrid cars as the electricity powering your car is from the grid. So it is not that great environmentally - yet. And is less efficient than mass transit.

I would feel massively more restricted living somewhere rural where I was dependent on a car to get anywhere. I like living in a big city, where I have everything on my doorstep (which includes a car - because there are numerous car club cars parked nearby, if I feel the need to drive somewhere. Which in 9 years since selling my car I haven't felt the need at any point!)

Point is, different strokes for different folks. I find the countryside claustrophobic. Others feel the same in the big smoke. Isn't it great how we can all make choices that work for us?

Some people have a medical reason but don't necessarily want to explain it to every nosy bastard so just say they "don't drive".

I have a job, a real proper job in the civil service (I even have degrees) 10 minutes walk away. I have one child who gets the bus or cycles to school, I live in a city ( not London) with good public transport.

I chose this, I plannec where to live I do not need to drive. I will never live in a village with no transport. I have better things to do than spend my life communting, either by car or train.

I am more than happy to accept any limitations that places on me.

I can be at the seaside by train in 2 hours, There are more places on the planet that I would like to visit than I could hope to travel to in one lifetime. I'm happy to limit my travels to places with public transport. But as I have managed to get myself across Gambia, Mali, Egypt, Libya, Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, Malawi, Botswana, Zambia, Namibia, South Africa and several Greek islands without driving I don't feel too deprived on the travel stakes.
I have a family and friends railcard. It costs £70 for a three year card, up to 4 adults and 4 children can travel on it. It saves a small fortune in fares. I can get myself and my son to London from the West Midlands for £10, I can get home to Liverpool for £15. I have got us to Edinburgh for under £50. This year we are going to North Wales by rail. I am a master at the mysteries of split ticketing. I never stand for half an hour at a bus stop because I know the timetable. Yesterday we waited less than a minute for a bus we don't usually get because I looked the times up.
Its really not that hard.

Because I don't want to.