To wonder why people 'don't drive'

[ZX81user]

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

Can’t afford lessons and have anxiety so would need a lot to feel confident.

Bananafish....I think the defensiveness may be coming from drivers who are often relied upon for lifts. And yes, of course we could say no, but it’s often awkward to do so and ime there can be a certain entitledness among non drivers that it is difficult to argue against. Just see the many examples of liftzilla threads on here.

I’m baffled about something too. Throughout my 25 year driving career I have been asked for lifts countless times by non driving friends, colleagues and family. I was also once in a situation where my employer expected me to collect and drop off a non driving colleague. There are many non drivers on this thread, yet the number who admit to asking for lifts is vanishingly small. Mysterious....where are all the people who in RL ask for or expect lifts all the time. None on MN it would appear. Hmm....

The absolute stupidity to say that not being able to afford it is a lame excuse. Ffs how ignorant can you be.

Driving is a life skill as is cooking or being skillful at smalltalk. Those who can't do any of these things remain viable members of society however.

Whizbang those on Mumsnet know it is the height of cheeky fuckery to ask and expect lifts, think of Liftzilla, so have probably been frightened not to ask or expect . I personally would not get a job, unless I was able to commute to and from myself. I always arrange things with friends near or around my town, if they decide to go further a field and its a bit far, I don't go.

Whizbang, perhaps they're hanging out in the same place as the dangerous or inconsiderate drivers, the parkers across other people's exits and the blockers of school entrances?

Thank you Aeroflotgirl, I hadn’t thought of that, and I think you’re quite right...MNers are alert to CF behaviour so they are less likely to do it. Mystery solved!

BTW, I’ve no problem with those who decide not to drive for whatever reason, and applaud you on environmental grounds. It is the fraught business of lift requests that has wound me up in the past. But this thread is not about that, plus MNers are less likely offenders as has been pointed out, so I’ll shut up now!

I live in London. Owning a car is not necessary. My children do not need four wheels when they have two legs each.

And it fucks me off when people say they don’t need to as in general it means

A-they rely on a spouse to do all the running around food shop ect

B- ask for lifts all the time

C- require everything to be in exact proximity to them including friends and family other wise they don’t visit or don’t do

Metoodear not all the time. Some people can afford taxis and good public transport may make them rare anyway. Not me though... just saying there are lore options to that reason

@Metoodear Nope, none of those apply to me. I live in London zone 2. Why would I need to drive when there's a bus stop right outside my flat and a tube station 5 minutes walk away?

Oh I forgot - food deliveries from Tesco and also support local village grocer's for smaller shops (just round corner).

*And it fucks me off when people say they don’t need to as in general it means

A-they rely on a spouse to do all the running around food shop ect

B- ask for lifts all the time

C- require everything to be in exact proximity to them including friends and family other wise they don’t visit or don’t do*

A - no he doesn’t, we usually get the train together.
B - he’s never asked for a lift in my hearing
C - he regularly takes three trains to come over.

What you’re talking about is a CF. Not all non-drivers are CF.

My parents couldn't afford lessons for me.

Then I went to Uni and didn't need to drive. Money I earned was spent on living, not learning a skill I didn't need.

Moved to London, no need to drive there. Stayed there 18 years.

I could finally afford lessons but worked in a City corporate environment so had no time to learn.

Moved to a European City with great public transport.

My OH drives the family at weekends, the rest of the time we use public transport (as I do all food/shopping/cooking/holiday packing and unpacking/washing it's the least he can do!

I've never asked anyone for a lift anywhere.

It's my major environmentally friendly contribution to the planet

I never learned. Rode bikes when I was a kid and a student, then moved to London, so no need to learn. And I never ask for lifts because none of my friends have cars either.

@Metoodear also in zone 2. A car is more hassle than it's worth. I had one and sold it cos it never got used. Why would I need a car when it's a massive arse to drive anywhere on a day to day basis and much easier to walk / cycle / bus / tube / cab / uber.

Bar living in central London and even then I lived in west London you would need a car still

It limits were you can work
What job you can do
We’re you can live
And we’re your children can go to school

It even limits what holidays you can have and who you can visit

I have a friend who doesn’t drive I live 45minutes away by car by due to the awkwardness of we’re I live it would take 2 hours to get there by transport we only see each other because I drive

She has a sister who has moved to the cost and pretty much hasn’t seen her since she’s moved down their as nither drive the smaller sister sees her regularly guess why becyshe drives

Also my friend childminder and this has a direct impact on her business she often has to turn down work because she simply can do the drop off quick enough due to being on the bus

Even trying to do something simple like go strawberry picking with the kids requires a lot of work also if effect her money wise she live across from Waitrose so has to shop their other wise it would mean getting a bus then getting a cab home adding £10 on to her weekly shop

He daughters after school clubs she doesn’t get in u t really late most nights having to go straight to the club due to not having a car no point going home for 1.5 hours if you don’t drive because you would need to leave to get the bus

I have a friend who always rather smugly mentions that she does not drive (as if I did not know), as though it is somehow good for the planet not to. But I have pointed out that every time she takes a taxi (which she does frequently), the car is doing double the miles a private car would have done. Driving is an important life skill, and you do not have to own a car to be a driver. You could hire one if you live in a town and want to make a trip. And people who do have a car can make good use of it by not making unnecessary trips and by car sharing etc.

It limits were you can work
What job you can do
We’re you can live
And we’re your children can go to school

Why do you keep presenting statements like this as fact?

I don’t drive and never ask for lifts. I dread getting a lift with my daughter because she is terribly car sick so we always choose to take public transport if we can. I learnt to drive, passed my test but was a terrible driver. I nearly caused and had many many accidents and so I stopped because it just wasn’t suited to it. I don’t understand why they would bother anyone. We go everywhere on buses and trains with no issues whatsoever.

Metoodear Sun 06-May-18 18:56:24
And it fucks me off when people say they don’t need to as in general it means

A-they rely on a spouse to do all the running around food shop ect -
I rely on spouse to walk down to the nearest shop pulling a trolley bag

B- ask for lifts all the time
nope, and frankly, don't know anyone I could ask as most of my friends/colleagues don't live nearby but come in on the train

C- require everything to be in exact proximity to them including friends and family other wise they don’t visit or don’t do
visit family and friends using public transport

All jobs for the work I do are in central London, so I'm not limited at all that way. There are several very good schools within walking distance. I don't have a problem carrying groceries home and for big shops there's Asda deliveries. And if it's late and I don't want to walk home from the tube station, well that's what Uber is for! Oh and most of my friends live near me so we either socialise locally or, for those living further out, in central London.

Is it really that difficult to understand that some people's experiences might be different to yours @Metoodear?

Metodear - I only learned 2 years ago and still don't drive on motorways or that often. DH has never gone with me to do the food shop i always did it on the bus or had a delivery. DH does drive us to places we go to on the motorway but as a division of labour, since he has never cooked or cleaned, we think this is fine - in fact he doesn't like to be a passenger.

I've never asked anyone for a lift because i don't know that many people and never go anywhere i can't get to myself - having lived in London most of my life. Also i never knew many drivers. Of my peer group growing up no one learned till their late 30s.

I don't have many friends or family but those i do live in London and it's quicker and easier to get the train. Plus i like to have drink if i go out, so wouldn't drive anyway.

@bananafish81 places like Ruislip,Harrow,honslow ect you would still need a car in London

So for example to get from Uxbridge to Acton on the bus could take well over an hour And that’s if the bus comes straight away used to do the hour from collage but once I started driving the journey takes 20 minuets

Places like Rickmansworth and denham harefied you would definitely need a car they are in London but pretty mush semi rural

So when people just say well I like in London were not talking about living in blinking Chelsea here

And if you live rurally the. It must be like a prison sentence my sil lives Bedfordshire and the corner shop is 30 minuets drive I am not sure you could even walk down the road to get their 😦