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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was friend rude about my profile photo?

78 replies

OneStrangeRocj · 05/05/2018 22:01

I’ve not changed it since 2013 and I was 5 stone lighter.

She said I was living in denial as I always complain about my weight.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/05/2018 22:04

Bloody rude I say.

BibiThree · 05/05/2018 22:13

So rude.

RomeoBunny · 05/05/2018 22:14

If its a dating site then she has a point.

princesskatethefirst · 05/05/2018 22:20

Depends if it's true?

underneaththeash · 05/05/2018 22:21

It was a long time ago OP. Maybe you should think about changing it.

Fruitcorner123 · 05/05/2018 22:23

Wow was a bitchy thing to say. Of course she was rude. Is she an actual friend or a Facebook friend?

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 05/05/2018 22:26

Grow up?

FleeceDetective · 05/05/2018 22:26

Do you actually use the profile regularly and update it other than the picture?

missmorleyme · 05/05/2018 22:27

Unless you were asking for her opinion or she was saying it out of genuine worry, then yeah, they were bu.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 05/05/2018 22:29

Are you always complaining about your weight? If you don't want people to comment don't bring the subject up.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2018 22:29

I’m sure you’d look lovely in a current photo.

I wouldn’t have one 5 years old and I don’t know anyone who does but there aren’t any rules, it’s your page! She was very rude to comment.

People moaning about their weight can be a bit annoying. Maybe she was fed up but she shouldn’t have said that.

MiddleClassProblem · 05/05/2018 22:32

I think it depends how she said it and context of conversation.

If it’s just a throw away comment out of the blue then obvs rude. She might have been concerned about your current body confidence now and owning who you are in a different context.

Have you not changed it because you don’t use it/haven’t thought to or because you’d rather people see you as that?

snowsun · 05/05/2018 22:32

It depends how the conversation was developing. If you asked her what she thought ? If you wanted an opinion but one you wanted to here. If she just said it out the blue or in response to something that had no relevance to it. Were you talking about your weight.
Without the context it's impossible to say.

PaulAnkaDog · 05/05/2018 22:33

What spurred her on to say that? Did she just randomly come out with it?

Original poster
OneStrangeRocj · 05/05/2018 22:33

I started a new diet this week and then had a takeaway tonight and I said to her how disappointed with myself I am.

Stemmed from that.

Not sure how the “grow up” comment is in any way helpful.

OP posts:
IronMansIronButt · 05/05/2018 22:34

Depends on what was said before it, doesn't it? How can anyone say if it was rude or not?

BrazzleDazzleDay · 05/05/2018 22:35

Yes it was rude of her to say so. But 5 stone is a shit load, so no doubt you don't look like that anymore.

LovingLola · 05/05/2018 22:36

Do you talk a lot about your weight, diets etc? If so then she wasn't rude.

lhastingsmua · 05/05/2018 22:41

She was rude to comment on it, however I do find it odd that your photo is so old. Was your photo taken in 2013 or is it even older? Do you look quite different?

I’m in early 20s so this wouldn’t really apply to my friends, but I have noticed this sort of thing with older colleagues/family friends/friend’s parents etc. One of my friend’s dad has a photo from when he was 18 as his profile photo and he’s 50+ so it’s a bit weird. It doesn’t even look like him and he’s had it up for years.

By all means post whatever you like and reminisce but it doesn’t have to be set as your profile photo. Especially if you’re just about recognisable

TammySwansonTwo · 05/05/2018 22:41

I’m certain OP is aware of how much weight 5 stone is 🙄

OP, are you having any other issues besides weight gain? If so, have you had a chat with your GP to rule out anything that might be contributing? Even if it’s not an underlying health issue they may be able to offer you some help, advice or support.

No one here knows what you weighed before or now, but obviously that’s a significant change so unless your diet or activity levels have changed dramatically it might be worth getting checked out.

And your friend was BU - none of her bloody business.

TheOriginalEmu · 05/05/2018 22:42

brazzle I’m pretty sure I could show you two pictures of me 5st apart and you’d hardly be able to see a difference in just my face.
What does your photo have to do with moaning about your weight?! I don’t get it? Changing your photo isn’t going to magically make you slimmer so what’s she on about??

IceSwan · 05/05/2018 22:43

5 stone lighter or 5 stone heavier is likely to dramatically change how you look. Her comment sounds blunt but it really does depend on the conversation. Only you know.

I knew someone who used such an old tweaked photo she was utterly unrecognisable. I do think it's a bit sad. Unless you are a supermodel there's no need to feel the need to look perfect.

Nothing to do with her comment but in the age of camera phones, why not get something up to date that you're happy with.

thisparachuteisanapsack · 05/05/2018 22:43

Very rude.

TammySwansonTwo · 05/05/2018 22:43

My DH has had childhood photos of himself as his profile pic in the past. Clearly he’s in some major denial...

My profile photo is rarely of me. Perhaps I have an unusual personality disorder.

What utter nonsense. Use any bloody photo you like. It’s still you, regardless of whether you look different or not.

liminality · 05/05/2018 22:47

I have had a photo of me and friend taken 15 years ago for a few months now. Your social media profile is not a 'warts and all' strictly factual account. It's a curated communication tool.

Your friend was rude. Who gives a f what photo you use. Change it to a baby photo of yourself and see if she says your still living in denial in thinking you're a small child.

Everyone who has offered insults and unsolicited weight advice to the OP is a tool - she didn't come here for you to suggest fucking doctors and whatnot.