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Original poster

Was friend rude about my profile photo?

78 replies

OneStrangeRocj · 05/05/2018 22:01

I’ve not changed it since 2013 and I was 5 stone lighter.

She said I was living in denial as I always complain about my weight.

OP posts:
DrowningEveryDay · 05/05/2018 22:47

Look, it's just Facebook. People post pictures there with filters and flattering angles all the time. It's a make-believe world where people mostly post the highlight of their lives. I think your friend may be concerned about you, but is also an utter twat for commenting on that. My Facebook profile picture is a picture of my shoes uploaded >5 years ago. lol.

LemonysSnicket · 05/05/2018 22:47

@TammySwansonTwo it’s v weird to have pictures up as your profile that aren’t even of you. People my age see that as a sign that someone doesn’t like how they look

Katurah · 05/05/2018 22:47

Are people who use snap chat filters also in denial about the fact they don't have Disney eyes, freckles, silly round glasses or deer ears then?!

Have whatever profile picture you want OP. It's none of her business unless you have asked for her opinion.

Freshfeelings · 05/05/2018 22:53

It's very very hard seeing someone you care about in a self destructive pattern with their weight and food addiction. It could be that she was using you saying you got a takeaway to try to tackle this incredibly difficult conversation with you. It could mean she cares and hearing that you've sabbotaged yourself 5 days into the diet has absolutely gutted her yet again.

Or she could just be a judgmental bitch.

I guess only you know what is likely from this person.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/05/2018 22:56

Well rude but depends on your relationship.

Profile photo for what?

lhastingsmua · 05/05/2018 22:58

^It could be considered catfishing, also makes you look insecure in your current appearance

StillMedusa · 05/05/2018 22:59

My profile pic is my cat..recently shaved bald (necessary as a non groomable Maine Coon) looking very grumpy... hardly reflects the reality that is me!

BrightYellowDaffodil · 05/05/2018 23:09

@lhastingsmua have you considered that the person you reference might have put his picture like that so that people who remember him at that age (eg school friends) will be able to recognise him? Or that it’s his favourite picture etc? FB is just a communication tool, as a PP said, it’s not subject to trading standards rules.

And, hard as it might well be to understand in your early 20s, the rate at which you change slows as you get older. A profile pic that’s - horrors! -five whole years old might well still be a pretty good representation of the person in it.

WorraLiberty · 05/05/2018 23:21

She said I was living in denial as I always complain about my weight.

I started a new diet this week and then had a takeaway tonight and I said to her how disappointed with myself I am.

So you were actually complaining about your weight at the time?

How did the comment turn to profile pics and what was the profile pic for? FB or online dating?

Gabilan · 05/05/2018 23:31

it’s v weird to have pictures up as your profile that aren’t even of you. People my age see that as a sign that someone doesn’t like how they look

Well that's just daft. I like how I look, on the whole, I just don't always need a photo of me on my profile pic. I also know people in public roles who don't like to use photos of themselves.

A dating profile pic is somewhat different. Facebook? Anything goes.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 05/05/2018 23:31

I often have a photo of my cat as my profile picture and I sometimes use one from from when I was a child. I've obviously got major issues...

NoCanoe · 05/05/2018 23:34

I use my dog and cat as my pictures. I hoping no one thinks Im barking or catty......Hmm

DrowningEveryDay · 05/05/2018 23:35

People my age see that as a sign that someone doesn’t like how they look

Or maybe the user is just concerned about privacy. Facebook has been getting a lot of flak lately for sharing data with anaytics company.

I personally would not upload any more pictures of myself on Facebook.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 05/05/2018 23:36

I'm more worried they might think I'm furry @NoCanoe!

RafikiIsTheBest · 05/05/2018 23:37

Just checked and my profile picture is older than yours OP, and whilst I am easily recognisable I have also put on quite a lot of weight, 18 months ago like you I was about 5 st heavier, now I'm about 3 1/2 st heavier and working on losing it.
I hate all current picture of (fatty) me, and think the picture I have (of my little family) is very cute and not all members are still with us so I couldn't retake it and don't want to replace it.

Regardless of your reason, wtf does it have to do with her. Yeah okay you were moaning about starting a diet and giving in to a takeaway, and probably about being overweight, but unless you said something about you looking like your FB picture then how do the two relate other than her being a bitch? I know I'm heavier than my picture, but don't expect anyone to comment on it.

NoCanoe · 05/05/2018 23:44

@Pinksparklypussycat - I've not shaved recently. My middle name is Chewbacca

Sunnysidegold · 05/05/2018 23:45

I changed my profile picture on fb to a wedding picture of my and husband as it was our anniversary. Never bothered changing it as rarely on Facebook. I'd be about 2 stone heavier now and 10 years older now bit would still say I'm quite easily recognisable.

I really must get on and change It!

CantChoose · 05/05/2018 23:48

Mine is really old (at least as old as yours) but it's a nice picture and I just don't care enough about Facebook to change it! Changed it intermittently when I was at uni but haven't bothered really since.
I wouldn't use it if signing up for a new service that required a photo though - would you still use yours? If so then maybe your friend has a point. If not I wouldn't loose sleep over it.

StaplesCorner · 06/05/2018 00:07

Couple of years ago I went to a wedding and had some nice pictures taken, but, as I was telling a "friend", I did look really fat in some of them. I chose the nicest one, side profile, black and white, very atmospheric and made it into my profile picture.

A few people 'liked' it and then the "friend" commented underneath "Never mind Staples, you CAN lose weight" ...

Agustarella · 06/05/2018 02:02

My FB profile photo is nine years old and I look like a kid in it, which is no longer the case in real life! I was much heavier then because I'd just had my youngest, so it's swings and roundabouts.

Personally I think it's cooler to have an ancient photo (that was new at the time!) than be one of those try-hards who uploads a different pouty selfie each week. Anyway it's your call, not your mate's.

TheDowagerCuntess · 06/05/2018 04:51

it’s v weird to have pictures up as your profile that aren’t even of you. People my age see that as a sign that someone doesn’t like how they look

People my age see it as a way of maintaining privacy.

YellowArdvark · 06/05/2018 05:16

it’s v weird to have pictures up as your profile that aren’t even of you. People my age see that as a sign that someone doesn’t like how they look

Among people I am on FB with I've noticed a real trend away from face shots for privacy or whatever reason. I've recently changed to one where you can't actually see me properly and feel better about my looks than I have in years, I just find the close up face shots a bit poser-like now

PassiveAgressivePenguin · 06/05/2018 06:29

I was unaware that there were any laws in social media for what you’re allowed to have as your profile picture?

OP, it sounds as if you’re unhappy about a 5st gain, which is understandable. I’ve just started the 5:2 diet as I’d like to lose 2 stone. They have some brilliant FB groups. I was on one for a while before I took the plunge, but some of the before and after photos are amazing! Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

daisychain01 · 06/05/2018 06:44

It was a rude comment OP but if you put your photo out there on a social media platform like Fb then you are opening yourself up to the shitty behaviour that goes with it.

Protect yourself and your sensibilities from people who wish to harm you. People aren't always kind or considerate towards the feelings of others. They lack empathy even people who claim to be "friends". They just aren't.

Avasarala · 06/05/2018 06:45

Maybe she just thought it was time for you to hear that to give you a kick to stick with healthy eating. If you're always going on diets and then eating junk within a few days, it can be very tiring to have to listen to you complain about it.

Throw out the diet plans and don't restrict any types of food. Just count calaries. You can still eat a take away occasionally, just count the calories and ensure you have a calorie deficit to allow for it. Make good food choices to allow for small treats.

Diets don't often work, as soon as you've lost some weight you treat yourself with stuff the diet doesn't allow and put it back on. Or you get so fed up of cutting food out that you give up. Have whatever you want, just stay within your allowed calories.

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