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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have a party with no food

300 replies

legoqueen · 05/05/2018 17:31

Landmark birthday & have around 70 people invited to an evening in a pub. Starting at 8pm, DH & I have decided to provide some drinks & nibbles but no 'buffet', mainly due to logistics not cost. Another friend did this & with the late start it worked fine, but one guest has expressed horror surprise at this - views please.

OP posts:
Witchend · 05/05/2018 18:33

Op's gone for a hasty shopping trip followed by cooking. Grin

Original poster
legoqueen · 05/05/2018 18:33

wizzywig no i have not rtt & page 2 in particular - I get it...

OP posts:
ellsbells2 · 05/05/2018 18:35

Agree that you definitely need food,. Get the local chinese/indian to deliver food.

Spam88 · 05/05/2018 18:37

Well I think 8 is late and I'd have eaten hours before, but clearly I'm alone in this...

PinkTipz · 05/05/2018 18:37

An invitation in a pub for 8pm = I would be expecting a dinner meal.

elderflowerandrose · 05/05/2018 18:38

I disagree. Your guests will eat before they come!!!

Just make sure you put 'drinks party' on the invite - nibbles and drinks. I have been to so many drinks parties, and no one has expected food!

They will happily enjoy the evening anyway! Have fun :)

Original poster
legoqueen · 05/05/2018 18:46

Just when I think there's a consensus, along come some MNetters with different views. Will call the pub after the weekend to see if there's an option to bring in more than just nibbles (which is what the manager suggested when we raised the issue) Smile

OP posts:
extinctspecies · 05/05/2018 18:47

It all depends how substantial the nibbles are.

I'd be fine with just drinks & canapés.

Not so much is it was just crisps and olives.

theDudesmummy · 05/05/2018 18:49

We went to a party where there was no food (and you had to pay for your own drinks, so not really a party then...), it started at 7pm and was in a venue in Soho and we could see people across the road and down the street all having a lovely time in nearby restaurants and eateries. We escaped by pretending to go to the loo, and went out for dinner.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/05/2018 18:51

No food, its not a party then!

Namechange128 · 05/05/2018 18:52

YABVU. 8pm is not that late a start! I'd have grabbed something very light assuming canapes or nibbles at least, especially with 70 guests for a landmark birthday.

Grab some supermarket platters and some olives and crisps, or change it to 9pm where everyone will have properly eaten first. Otherwise you're just inviting a weirdly large number of people for a drink at the pub.

lifechangesforever · 05/05/2018 18:54

I would definitely expect there to be food, that's the whole point of going to a party IMO. It's just drinks in the pub otherwise, which I'm not really into.

I once went to a wedding an hour away (at Ripon Castle no less!) and all they provided was nuggets and wedges, I was fuming! Grin

BikeRunSki · 05/05/2018 18:55

I disagree. Your guests will eat before they come!!!

Not necessarily

VladmirsPoutine · 05/05/2018 18:56

At what age do parties without food become abominable? In my 20s it was great if there was anything more than a few bags of doritos and we partied a lot.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 05/05/2018 18:57

I would say at the end of your 20s Wink plus any age for a formal occasion like wedding, christening etc

PotTheRed · 05/05/2018 18:58

I think it’s fine. Just make sure everyone know. I’d phrase it as ‘drinks’ rather than a party. Also make it clear if you are paying for the drinks or not.

PinguForPresident · 05/05/2018 18:59

Definitely need to provide food. Otherwise you're just asking people to the pub.

Bluntness100 · 05/05/2018 18:59

Yeah, you need to put food on about 10pm. Otherwise your guests will bugger off to find some,

Roussette · 05/05/2018 19:00

I've done a big party and easy to do food. I got french sticks (nice ones), pickles of all sorts, and loads of different cheeses presented really nicely (sort of like a help yourself ploughmans). It worked and people loved it.

(There was a bit more to the food than that but that was the basics and on the invite I put 'lite bites' and everyone said it was great just to be able to go and pick at bread cheese and other bits and bobs.

Viviennemary · 05/05/2018 19:01

I'd be annoyed if I went to a party and there was no food and only a few crisps. If you can't afford it and the logistics are wrong then re-think the whole thing.

Fruitcorner123 · 05/05/2018 19:04

I went to a party like this and we ended up nipping out to a nearby KFC. If its on the invitation then at least guests can eat before but we would struggle to make it for 8 in that case.

The food its the best part.

If venue have suggested you bring nibbles then just bring something like sausage rolls, crisps, dips, salad and some.crusty bread (plus a veggie option) that with cake is fine it doesn't have to be a warm buffet.

SuitedandBooted · 05/05/2018 19:08

You either need to make it very clear that there is no food, or you need to start later 9 - 9.30pm. You are inviting people for drinks, so put "Drinks" on the invitation.

At 8pm, (and in a pub), I would expect a buffet at least unless told otherwise.

Also, "Some drinks and nibbles" - so you are just putting cash behind the bar, and people will buy their own once it runs out? That's OK, but really, you are just inviting people to the pub for a night out. It's not a party.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 05/05/2018 19:10

You either need to arrange a different venue with food or tell people it's not a party but a night in the pub. You can't host a party and provide nothing, it's awfully bad manners.

Lindy2 · 05/05/2018 19:10

I'd be so disappointed if there was no food. I love a party buffet.
I'd also think you were a bit stingy and probably leave early to go and get some chips. Blush

corcaithecat · 05/05/2018 19:13

I think as long as you make it clear what sort of food/nibbles will be provided so that people can make their own arrangements, that's fine. I went to a party years ago where there was no food at all and everyone was a bit shocked so most of them drifted off after about an hour to find somewhere to eat. The place was pretty much empty by 9pm.