I have known a few women in the past who couldn't go on when their husband died or left. One woman (whose husband left her,) commit suicide, and another (whose husband died when they were both 40, after 10 years of marriage and 13 years together,) just lost the will to live, sank into a deep depression, and became severely housebound. Her house turned into a stinky flea-ridden pit, and she became hugely obese. At 47, she took her own life too. Because she 'couldn't go on without him..........'
I don't want to judge, but I found both cases so terribly sad, and a massive waste of life. Both women were only middle aged, and could have gone on, alone, and maybe eventually found someone else.
I also know several men who completely fell apart when their wives died or left (they were all 50-60ish.) One of them commit suicide too.
I love my husband, and have 2 kids with him, and we have a lot of fun together, and have had a lot of good times (as well as some lows and bad times,) but I would not stop living and fall apart if he left or died. I know it's easy to say that, but I really would be OK.
He wouldn't be OK without me though, he would fall apart. He doesn't do like to do anything without me, and doesn't like going anywhere without me. He can be a bit needy and clingy sometimes.... I know that may sound suffocating to some (and it can be - a bit - sometimes,) but it's just how it is and I am OK with it. But yeah, he would shrivel up and die without me. He admits that himself.
I guess there's wrong really WRONG with loving your partner and feeling like you couldn't go on without them, but when someone says they would put them before their children, I will judge them very badly .... NO-ONE should put ANYone before their children. 