to find it so very sad that if a man shows geunuine affection towards a child he must be a peadophile?

[mamazon]

yes there is a current thread that has promted this but this is not aimed at the Op, this is something that has bothered me for quite some time.

i keep hearing of people being "concerned" about teh man who works at the nursary, or the guy who plays with all his kids friends when they are at the park, or the guy who runs teh football team...etc etc.

why is it we cannto accept that these are just grown men who want to enrich teh lives of children. that they find it enjoyable to show affection and respect to people yet to reach adulthood.

we are forever complaining about our men who refuse to play with little johny, or wont spare any time for the children.. and yet when we find a man who activly encourages childrent o interact with him we dive to the conclusion that there is somethign more sinister going on.

Obviously i would always tell a parent to trust their instincts but i feel that our previously good parental judgment has been tarred by the media's constant scare mongering about sex offenders.

so, am i right in thinking we should maybe give these guys the respect they deserve for wanting to entertain our children or AIBU?

Kerrymum and Not an Otter I really did not mean to come across as patronising,I hope that it was not perceived in this way.Sorry if it did.

'clouded judgment

It is me who sadly sees things clearly
I have experienced many many lovely men and a couple of abusive ones
men are fabulous

they are much more likely to sexually abuse than women

remember Rainman?

Which plane would you fly on Quantas or the others?

why take a risk with your children/

that was me TM. He actually sat with DS last week, while DS was in bath (although he is 9, he has cerebral palsy and has to be supervised) which shocked me, but he kept the door open...

In ANSWER TO THE OP.....

YES it is very sad

But that is the society we live in

isn't it really sad? my husband's parents came over from Europe to visit us and were shocked about the fact they couldn't even TALK to the local kids at the park etc. without the mums freaking out and dragging them away (they are in their seventies and rather infirm, a two year old could outrun them and a three year old beat them up).

Aww Sparkly, I'm so sorry for your DH that he has been made to feel that way by all the paranoia out there.

Actually Kerrymum, it is a known fact that peadophiles target single mums as they see their children as easy targets.
I think you are entitled to call it the way you do. You have had experiences which I certainly cannot relate to and so you make your judgement call accordingly. All you are doing is protecting your children and doing the best by them you can.
Again I partly agree with you about power and control as you stated earlier though I do think it is a mental illness too.

quantos didnt have any crashes IIRC. is that it NaO?

I know, was talking to my BIL last week, and even he will not bath his dd.

my sister works for SS and has worked with peados, and she said that its not an illness as such, but they find children attractive the same way a woman finds a man attractive, or a gay man finds another man attractive.

yes misdee!!!!!

just risk asesment
if you have to take a risk (ie leave you child as we all do) take the safest option..(ie female carer)

which I find very hard to get my head around btw..

SGK i have worked with peadophiles and that is exactly the case.
I dont want to turn this into any kind of deabte over peadophilia but its not always something that is prememditated. not all peadophiles harm children.

You'll meet your Prince Kerrymum, it's just that your kids will be 21 by then!!

mamazon

and SparklyGK, I am so so sorry your husband was upset by a stupid, cruel and comment, and I hope he thinks "stuff it, I love my kids" - get those raspberries going again! just think if we raise a generation of kids who are deprived of natural parental affection, what affect will this have on them and their future loving relationships/their kids?

There was a case a few years ago, where a little boy had taken his first steps, just as he got out the bath, dad grabbed his camcorder and started filming his baby's first steps. He was arrested and charged for that.. I can't remeber the outcome of the case though

Pretty soon parents will be in fear of being done for assault and battery if they dare to touch their kids (touching is technically a battery in law). We are in the process of losing touch with our humanity.

oh DH plays with, hugs and kiss our kids in the house, but not outside. He even kisses my nieces now without worries

for every one of those miscarriages of justice sparkly are innumerable cases of unreported abuse.....