Tracking DP on phone

[damekindness]

I was talking to some work colleagues today and it came up in conversation that they got their OH to turn on their 'share location' on their mobiles so they could see where they were. Apparently it's useful to know so they can get the dinner on the table ready for them

Aside from the whole being a domestic dinner slave issue, I think asking your OH to share their location so they can be tracked is a massive invasion of privacy. However the counter argument was that if they didn't have anything to hide they shouldn't mind....

Pretty much all my friends and family have a tracking app and we all share out locations on it. It’s really handy when you’re meeting up with people and you can see where they are! I don’t tnhibk it’s an invasion of privacy at all and anyone could turn it off of stop sharing with certain people for certain times if they wanted to

1) find my iPhone: something you enable, so if you lose your phone you can log onto your account on a computer or another phone with your email and password to see where it is. Only you possess the log in details so nobody can use that to track you.

Not true. If you have family sharing you can find each other’s phones. You can also send a tone to it from another family member’s phone so you can locate it from under the sofa cushion or wherever if it’s lost and on silent. Useful!

If you don’t want someone to know where you are, great, don’t add it, disable it. We all consent to it and use it to see where we each are in a trusting way with good intent. If I wanted to go somewhere secretly I’d turn it off. Same with the kids.

DH, DD and I have life 360. We all agreed to it and can turn it off whenever we like. DD watches to see what time we're likely to get to her uni (so she can get out of bed before we're there). We track her bus home, so we know when to go to collect her (it's never on time).

I check if DH has left the supermarket before asking him to pick up something that wasn't on the list.

It's not essential, it's just a life tool for us.

@walking I’m sure abusive partners would use it, yes. Unfortunately my use of it or not doesn’t affect those with abusive partners. Or are you saying it should be banned?

@cady I haven’t put a tracker device on my teens, we share our location with each other, with consent. It can be switched off. Dd likes to know where I am and feels safe knowing I know where she is. If she wants more privacy when she’s older she can switch it off!

41% of women in a womensaid survey does not translate to 41% of women. Womensaid deals specifically with abused women.

I suppose it depends on what sort of relationship you have with each other. I really would not mind if my DH had this on my phone and l now he wouldn't mind if he had it on his. We don't need it though.

know

@oysterbabe my late db who died when the best mobile phones around were the Nokia 3310 had previously made my mum promise never to get a chip implanted. He had paranoid schizophrenia but I think he had a point and somehow knew what was coming all those years ago!
I’ll keep the option of a separate device!

Cady my teens like being tracked,they find it gives them more freedom.

The fact is times are a changing,teens today are used to a different life. I can track their homework and what they buy for school dinner thanks to modern technology provided by school. We're all going to be tracked more than our parents- online data,drones etc .

We use it and with extended family too- for fun and it's been useful sometimes, but I can see how awful it would be in the hands of potentially abusive partners.
It is sometimes disconcerting to get a text from my mum telling me to have a nice lunch in x place when I'm sitting there, or my dd, regaling me later in the day with an account of what I've done that day. I got a text in the supermarket last week asking me to get chocolate milk for her. I use it to know when to put the dinner on for dh, or to see when my dd will be home. Last week I was waiting for my dsis. I used it to see how long she would be.

My teenage ds refuses to install it - I don't blame him.

@GertieMotherwell

He has a GPS computer on his bike which he uses as a sat nav. He then has an app on his phone and he has set me up as the only person who gets his location. He sets how long the link is valid for and it ends when his ride finishes. There's a setup guide here.

A good alternative is to use Strava, which lots of runners and cyclists use to track their routes and performance. You can set up up to three 'safety contacts' on Strava and share your location with only them, only for the duration of your outing.

It works very well for us and as the sharing is finite it might also address some of the wider privacy concerns that some posters have described.

Yes colditz, I think that's implied by the fact they are responding to a survey by a charity that supports victims of abusive relationships.

I would never comment to my DS if he did what I used to do and go somewhere different from where he was meant to be (he is a teenager after all!) but it would very useful if he didn't turn up back home one night and we needed to know where he last was for the police..........

I wonder how I coped when my DH used to drive a round trip of 300 miles to do a days work and this was before mobile phones, we coped! Some things are for the better I feel, but this isn't.

Never having used it, I'm curious...
How accurate is it?
Does it show like a google map?

Everyone to their own, we're all different. But nothing would make me change my mind and enable my DP to track my movements, not that I've got anything to hide.

So what I'm saying is... fine if it suits you but the one thing I can't get my head round is enabling it for not just teen DCs and your DH but the wider family... parents, brothers, sisters and friends? Why??

My point is, why is it shocking that on a survey of abused women, we find women that have been abused in a specific way?

My husband and I both mutually share our location and there are absolutely no trust issues in our relationship whatsoever. It's just nice to know when he's on his way home and when to leave to collect him from the station and stuff like that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If teens want to/agree to be tracked that's fine but I'm actually quite horrified that it's considered a RIGHT by some.

Thinking back I wouldn't have been bothered if my parents could have tracked me if it made them feel better however I know they would never have done it without consent. I also see how for some teenagers it would useful for them for their parents to have. Everyone's different, lifestyles are different.

fine if it suits you but the one thing I can't get my head round is enabling it for not just teen DCs and your DH but the wider family... parents, brothers, sisters and friends? Why??

Why not? It's a bit of fun. Not everyone is on it. We just all put ourselves on one day when we were talking about it. It is disconcerting sometimes in a "ooh that's weird" way but it keeps my mum entertained and informs people when necessary for arrival times, and I really don't mind. I don't mind that my teenage ds doesn't want to do it though. Each to their own. We are a close family.

We have a similar app that we use but it's a bugger for being inaccurate so we laugh about it getting us in trouble. Only yesterday it said I was home 30 mins before I was so it's probably useless really. For info, we got it because my dh rides a motorcycle and we thought it was a good idea in case he came off and was lying injured!

We use googlemap and share location it's fab!! I do it with DH and with my parents. It is great to know when DH is a bit delayed (or vice versa) and for my parents it allows me to know where they are (they are constantly on holiday abroad :)) if the kids want to Skype with them etc. I also share my calendar with my husband and parents for the same reason. Very handy stuff!

Find my iPhone does this I thought it just beeped when you lost we're sitting on all along your phone in the house

But if a friend said to me 'did you enjoy your emal at that Italian on the High st yesterday' and I hadn't told her, I would honestly be a bit pissed off!

I just don't want everyone knowing where I am, what I'm doing, what I'm eating, the fact I've been into town, or had my hair cut or gone to the Mall or visited a friend, I just wouldn't find it fun, I would find it intrusive and weird!

I am shocked that a lot of people who are slamming this technology have very little real idea how it works. It's not spyware! You don't get a report at the end of the day detailing where someone has been, it's location specific at the point that you check the app, nobody is going to spend their whole day checking it. I also agree that constant calls and texts to update on a situation are so much more intrusive.

I know it doesn't provide you with a report but if it's enabled anyone who you've agreed to enable it with can click on any time and see where you are and then comment on it. I'd just feel like it was an army of people watching me

@RhurbabAndCustard
I bite my tongue if I see ds is at his girlfriends when he shouldn’t be, even when he bunked school, I knew they’d pick it up and punish him. It’s purely for safety.
Although I did 🙄 (at myself) when I spent my lunchtime rushing home from work to take delivery of a parcel, only to find him there and helping the driver unload.
I find that just because I have doesn’t mean I use it