To be so very disappointed in my dd 18

[Metoodear]

So my 18 ds works in A well known supermarket and today he has been sent home with pay

He has been accused of fraudulent activity with a £3 voucher and the worse thing is I believe he did it he’s very worried fudgeing good


So over the last couple of weeks I noticed he had a lot of vouchers in his room the type people buy for birthday gifts when I asked he said his mate gave it to him bank However something didn’t sit right went a snooping and I found about £60 worth of different vouchers food and can ones


Then this week he told me he had an altercation with one of the security guards they accused him of stealing when he was in shopping

My husband said that was odd as he knows they guy and why would he just randomly accuse you of stealing on your day off

However we now think ds was trying to lay the ground work when he was eventually found and and say this was the issue


I think the guard was following ds however jumped the gun and altered ds to the fact they are being watched


9 of them have been put on gardening leave pending a investigation

I know in my gut something is going on and the vouchers having something to do with them I am beyond up set I tell you if dh hadn’t had a word with me I would of lost my shit

Came home today and ds was at home asked him what he was doing at home he lied said that all overtime shifts had been
cancelled having been —listening at the door—hoover I got a few bits about having a bad feeling and OMG everyone has been sent home and what did you tell them

I confronted ds and he dh said look you may as well tell us your mum thinks somethings up and she s usually right he then confessed he told us he didn’t do anything and joined and union this morning after 18 months of bugging him to so must be worried

I am ashamed and he earns just shy of 400 a month so no idea why he would shame him self or us like this

I am pretty certain the ship think their all in intogethet to will sack them all

[Metoodear]

He joined the union in the morning after the incident with security who inadvertently altered my ds that something was up



And wasn’t given the letter until after he had joined in the evening so they said they can help I have no clue if the police will be involved however I did say to him people are more inclined to take things further if they theink the piss is being taken so he would think on that

I have told him very clearly what I think how upset everyone is and now it’s up to him he alone knows the truth told him to steer clear or dh says if he gets sacked over fraud their will be repercussions and tbh he said it so calmly it scared me and I told ds I think dad is very cross and he should confess all to dad other wise I can be sure what will happen

[snewname]

What about the vouchers?

[Metoodear]

😯😦😢

[UpstartCrow]

@Metoodear I think your son needs to talk to someone who is not involved such as ACAS or Citizens Advice, and he needs to tell them what happened from start to finish and how he was involved.
He needs to tell them straight without any bullshit.

He sounds very young and easily led, but also badly informed. He should stop listening to his mates and start listening to someone who can work out how to move forwards, the way he is carrying on he is going to fuck up his future.

His actions are not a reflection on you. Try to remember that when it gets stressful

[Metoodear]

snewname Not sure how their involved in all this but something is not right but tbh the letter just talked about this £3 voucher code so not sur

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

Sorry OP but I still don't think he is being truthful to you. A glitch in the tills regarding vouchers wouldn't have lasted more than a day before it was spotted and corrected, so if he has been watched then it isn't a glitch but something deliberate. , I have even been interviewed as I completely innocently served a colleague who was committing fraud, but neither myself or any other colleague serving them were suspended.

[Aridane]

I would get this thread deleted now

[SnailMailFan]

Hopefully this will be shock enough to stop him ever doing something as stipid again. It must be really hard for you as parents, because you think youve taught your children right from wrong,but then things like this happen.

I think its more common than you think. A friend of mines husband was caught stealing from a till, years ago, and sacked. This was in a small village, so of course everyone knew. 15 years later hes a Sergeant in the police so what happened cant have gone on his record.

[Daxter]

The vouchers might just be nicked in the hope that they could find a way of activating/using them without putting them through a till. If they've been stupid enough to think they wouldn't get caught repeatedly using a dodgy coupon, they're not exactly criminal masterminds.

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

I would get this thread deleted now

I seriously doubt it is going to make any difference. The supermarket will have all the evidence it needs. They really won't need to go trawling MN looking for more.

[Metoodear]

Totally agree they either have a lot of evidence or none and by getting all of them hoping one would crack

But I have pointed out to ds that knowing about wrong doing and doing would be looked at well either he says he’s not ringing Acas as he’s not done anything 🙄

[DurhamDurham]

When one of my daughters was 17 she actioned a refund for a friend despite knowing she shouldn't, she got sacked as the company had a zero tolerance to dishonesty. She's 25 now, has a great job and definitely learnt her lesson the hard way. What your son had done is very wrong but it doesn't need to define him for life. Hope you're all ok

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

Op I really don't think they would have suspended him if he hasn't done anything wrong, unless he has possibly been accused by one of the others and they have to suspend both parties for a fair investigation, but as it's not a personal grievance I would think that unlikely.

[Mummaganoush]

I worked at tesco as a teen, on the deli, my colleague put a reduced sausage roll in the fridge to have for her lunch, saving about 10p... she was made to resign. Supermarkets are petty, and miss so much more.

[gingerbreadbiscuits]

I know someone who many many years ago did something similar. She was arrested for it but it was a wake up call for her. She dumped her no good boyfriend, went to uni and became a teacher.

[Snowysky20009]

OP I think you have to prepare yourself that he has done something and you haven't the full story from him.

I've been involved in many investigations (admittently not in retail), and they will have had solid grounds to suspend.

His friends parents working there will mean nothing. If this is a large chain as I suspect, head office are involved and they won't give two hoots that his friends parents have worked there for ages, it means nothing at all. He's a payroll number that has been accused of fraud and or theft. They will have evidence that led to his suspension.

It's also not like years ago (even just a few years ago), where people had a slap on the wrist and where let go.

So many jobs these days require background checks, and if anything shows on his record anything from cleaning to care work, any job involved in the handing of money, transactions etc, will be difficult to get into.

He's been a very stupid boy. I feel for you OP, I can only imagine how I would feel if it was my ds's. The main thing is what done is done. Nothing is going to change that. He now needs to come clean and tell the whole truth. Even failing to admit a small thing will throw shadow of doubt on to what else could be the truth.

[PotTheRed]

How worrying for you. Ha but otherwise be sad and very disappointed. TBH though it’s what he does from now on that’s the important bit. He’s fucked up big time but if he learns from it and doesn’t do it again then it’s not so bad.
Unfortunately, lots of people don’t see anything wrong with defrauding ‘evil’ big companies. Have a look on MN threads to see how many people are happy to shoplift, embellish insurance claims etc etc.

He sounds like he was being really stupid to think he would get away with it.

[LoveManyTrustfew]

My ex very very ex had two brothers who did this in Hamley's they went to jail, one for quite some time.

[elderflowerandrose]

I would be more concerned about a police investigation. Fraud carried a custodial sentence.
Maybe ds could resign? I don’t think he can stay regardless of the outcome they will never trust him again.
He needs to resign and get another job and try not to use them as references and hope they don’t press charges. A lesson learned let’s hope.

[Metoodear]

Their is 10 of them dear lord
Well like I said once he knows the out come of the first of the accused who has their meeting tomorrow he will know witch way the wind is blowing I hope he’s woke now

[caringcarer]

Actually Metoodear what usually happens at these hearings is that after the first person leaves their hearing they are escorted off premises and so can't speak to others about to go in. Sometimes they schedule the hearings for 30 mins apart so they can't talk among themselves. He should be allowed to take someone in with him though like a union rep. 10 sounds like half the assistants must have been involved. If they have evidence they will most likely act on all 10, as they can't be seen to let some off and not others. I hope he learns from his mistake. You have done the correct thing in encouraging him to be honest and not tried to protect his lies.

[lhastingsmua]

I can’t see them sacking all 10 members of staff, unless there’s no doubt that it was fraudulent and gross misconduct.

So were they reusing these vouchers and then obtaining free products for themselves? If not, a defence could be that the company should consider this a result of the POS errors/glitches, an accidental error - but obviously that completely depends on if it only happened whilst serving customers and if the staff didn’t knowingly obtain anything as a result the error.

Your son needs to be completely honest as chances are by the time it gets to his meeting, management will have a clearer picture of what’s gone on and to what scale, with various statements from the other staff members (and cctv/till records etc) so him underplaying his actions won’t work in his favour at all.

[SnipperSnapper]

I caught a member of staff stealing cash from me - I ended up agreeing to settle outside of court, she now has a ‘police record’ where they noted it but it’s not something that would come up in a background search ...unless she does it again. (We’re talking about thousands of pounds of cash here not a few vouchers so your son will probably get similar?)

Hopefully it will be enough to scare him into the right direction with no major impact on his future. Big hugs to you OP, you sound like a good mum & none of this is your fault xx

[SnipperSnapper]

Also should note that the girl I caught ended up confessing, by talking to police it is fairly hard to bring a successful prosecution unless you have rock solid evidence. And unless you have that you can’t sack someone otherwise you would be liable for unfair dismissal

[nursy1]

My son in law told me he stole money from the till of a chain restaurant he worked in during his teens.
Somehow he was found out/ seen by the manager who had a chat with him along the lines of
“don’t be stupid lad, you could be risking your chance of having a good career, why would you do that for £20 quid ....” etc etc
He said it made him cry but the guy didn’t report it and kept him on. He never did it again. Was accepted onto the management course of the chain after he had finished college and did very well.

This maybe sounds a bit more organised op but tell your son a bit of genuine contrition might stand him in good stead, especially as he is so young and perhaps wasn’t a ringleader.