To be so very disappointed in my dd 18

[Metoodear]

So my 18 ds works in A well known supermarket and today he has been sent home with pay

He has been accused of fraudulent activity with a £3 voucher and the worse thing is I believe he did it he’s very worried fudgeing good


So over the last couple of weeks I noticed he had a lot of vouchers in his room the type people buy for birthday gifts when I asked he said his mate gave it to him bank However something didn’t sit right went a snooping and I found about £60 worth of different vouchers food and can ones


Then this week he told me he had an altercation with one of the security guards they accused him of stealing when he was in shopping

My husband said that was odd as he knows they guy and why would he just randomly accuse you of stealing on your day off

However we now think ds was trying to lay the ground work when he was eventually found and and say this was the issue


I think the guard was following ds however jumped the gun and altered ds to the fact they are being watched


9 of them have been put on gardening leave pending a investigation

I know in my gut something is going on and the vouchers having something to do with them I am beyond up set I tell you if dh hadn’t had a word with me I would of lost my shit

Came home today and ds was at home asked him what he was doing at home he lied said that all overtime shifts had been
cancelled having been —listening at the door—hoover I got a few bits about having a bad feeling and OMG everyone has been sent home and what did you tell them

I confronted ds and he dh said look you may as well tell us your mum thinks somethings up and she s usually right he then confessed he told us he didn’t do anything and joined and union this morning after 18 months of bugging him to so must be worried

I am ashamed and he earns just shy of 400 a month so no idea why he would shame him self or us like this

I am pretty certain the ship think their all in intogethet to will sack them all

[interuptus]

I can't work out what is missing from your OP (maybe conjunctions) but I can't follow?
What exactly do you think he's done?

[lhastingsmua]

I don’t think she knows the full story, but something along the lines of abusing a glitch in the till system and fraudulently reusing vouchers/gift cards as a result.

[Metoodear]

He’s lied and I think he stole from his work place or colluded in some form of fraud with others

[Metoodear]

@lhastingsmua correct

[Metoodear]

Something it definitely up my mum antlers are tingling

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

@Ihastingsmua We aren't allowed to serve family , friends is also supposed to be a no as well, but thats not always easy. Thing with a supermarket is people tend to buy their lunch and snacks etc as well as their weekly shop, so really not feasible to only have management serve staff.

OP don't blame yourself, he is old enough to make his own choices and he should be old enough to realise there will be consequences.

[Passingwords]

OP - loving the thought of mum antlers tingling! Im sorry you are going through this, hopefully he will learn from this. It's not a reflection of your parenting that he has done this

[maggiecate]

I wouldn't assume that the lad whose mum and dad work there will get a pass either - lots of people have made the mistake of thinking that they will be protected by a family tie, but if it's a big chain they won't care and even if it isn't no shopkeeper would keep a thief on for sentimental reasons. You simply can't afford to.
This is why things like this make me cross - people think retail crime is victimless, but the retailer doesn't think 'oh well' and write it off. They add it into the prices we all pay and the people who get hit the hardest are the same as ever - the honest poor, for whom every penny matters. Explain that to your son; it's not just you he's hurt, and his colleagues he's let down - it's the people at the bottom of the pile trying to make ends meet and never quite getting ahead because they're subbing chancers like him.

[Charolais]

Make sure he learns a lesson from this or else, if he gets away with it, you might have a career criminal on your hands.

My nephew started stealing expensive items at age 12. not only were his parents were in denial and protected him, they went after the store for harassment or something. He continued to steal, got a job at a large superstore and started a theft ring stealing from the loading docks. They continued to protect him. He went on to steal from housing construction sites at night.

i told them when he was 12 they needed to nip it in the bud and I was accused of siding with the store which was ‘out to get him’.

[Viviennemary]

It's sad and disappointing that your DS has taken part in what sounds like a bit of fraud or dodgy dealing. Call it what you will. But I expect he will be sacked if they prove this has happened but doubt he'll be prosecuted if it was only on a smallish scale re the amounts of money involved.

[SinkGirl]

I hate to say it, but I worked various retail jobs while at school (girls grammar with lots of very proper girls) and at uni (RG uni full of middle class kids), and I saw so many instances of this sort of thing. Young people on minimum wage who think they’re smart and have figured out a brilliant con, except they’re not brilliant and they’re easily caught. At the cinema I worked in, when staff were in watching a film, they’d fill a bag with pick n mix and get their mate to weigh a biro and just pay for that. At a clothes shop, they’d buy something with discount, sometimes fiddling with tags to get it even cheaper, then get a friend to return it when they were on the till. Or cooking extra hot dogs that didn’t get bought so they could eat them at the end of the night. At a music shop, anything “damaged” would be taken downstairs but the supplier usually wouldn’t want it back so staff would lightly scratch something they wanted so they could take it home. At a shoe shop, bags were searched so staff would carry a gym bag, wear trainers in, change into a brand new pair of shoes for their shift and then the trainers in their bag would be inconspicuous...

I could tell a hundred stories like this. Not a single one of those people are “career criminals” now. Many of them were caught, some weren’t, all learnt that it’s really too risky and not right in the first place.

I’m sure the terror that your son feels now will be a valuable lesson and it’s nothing you did wrong. Some people need to learn this stuff for themselves.

[PlumsGalore]

Well th union won't do anything other than perhaps suggest he reigns before he is sacked. He is very misguided if he thinks a single union membership payment (that potentially hasn't even left his wage yet and is unlikely to) will clear his name.

I feel for you OP, you know when your own isn't telling the truth don't you? Unfortunately it sounds like the reckless of youth, the confidence that he is bigger and cleverer than a supermarket giant and that greed got the better of him.

Personally if he were mine, I would strongly recommend he resigned now. If he genuinely is innocent I suspect he would tell you the full story such as X did this and Y did that but I have never done anything mum and what can I do, it's unfair, I'm innocent etc.

Your intuition sounds right. 💐

[Metoodear]

He’s finally told me the scam that was going on

Their was a code that was on someone’s phone and the said person was going to people tills and using it
He’s still says he’s was not involved told him for the love of god if he is to resign now

And he must tell them the truth he has said be willname if asked

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

Ok well if it is a similar system to where I work, then you would total the amount of the shopping then either scan the voucher barcode from the phone or type in the number. This then takes off the amount of the voucher from the total bill. If said voucher is over a certain amount then a supervisor code is needed. If it has been used before then the till should tell you that.
But, if there has been a glitch with the tills and it continued to accept the voucher, certainly in our place we would be able to see that the cashier would not know this unless told and would therefore have done nothing wrong in accepting the voucher. Certainly wouldn't be suspended but may be asked to give evidence at any hearing.

[PiggeryPorcombe]

So how does that explain all the vouchers you’ve seen in his room including a £60 one?

[falang]

Poor you OP. I'd be absolutely furious with him and he'd know it. It will serve him right if they get the police involved. The least that can happen is the sack.

[Missingstreetlife]

Trade unions often sign people up and help immediately in the workplace.
A criminal investigation will need a lawyer.
Very unwise to post evidence on a public forum

[AgentProvocateur]

He’s a bit late in joining the union. They’re not going to help him with something that happened before he joined. He’d be better speaking to a lawyer.

[Metoodear]

sweeneytoddsrazor He’s saying he never used any such voucher himself
But at least he has finally admitted that he knew who was doing it

The First of the accused are having their meeting tomorrow his is not till the end of the week so he will know what’s way the wind is blowing

I was so furious I actually burst into tears this morning while talking with him

@PiggeryPorcombe not sure we’re the vouchers come in if at all but something about them don’t sit right

@Missingstreetlife. He has told me he had nothing to do with any of it and that everything he’s said is the truth so o see know issue in posting if he’s telling the truth the n their is no issue their is only a issue with posting if he’s lying and in that case he deserves everything he gets form the fall out

[Adversecamber22]

Some trade unions may assist with a case retrospectively but the one I was a member of wouldn't . Even if they do assist he has to come 100% clean with them. I was involved representing someone in a disciplinary and it turned out she had lied to me her rep as well. They had absolute concrete evidence and she was sacked.

[elderflowerandrose]

Are they intending to involve the police?

[Adversecamber22]

He can ring ACAS for advice, they are actually open on a Saturday morning, well they used to be.

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

He may not have but if he has knowingly facilitated somebody else using one then he is just as guilty. And I very much doubt if he has been suspended if he genuinely had no idea.

[AJPTaylor]

Mmm.
Hate to say this but he is trying out what is morw acceptable to you. That doesnt tie in with the vouchers in his room does it?

[LittlePaintBox]

This is obviously a big shock to you, it sounds as if your DS has got involved in something organised to defraud his workplace. If 'everyone' was doing it he may not have realised the seriousness of what was happening. You and DH do need to point out to him that he has been involved in a crime, and ignorance is not an defence, so that in future he knows better.

Hopefully this will be a huge lesson to him. It seems as if the supermarket might be prepared to deal with him without bringing the police into it - if so, he will have been very lucky. They can't afford to have people working there who have defrauded them.