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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my neighbours are either creepy or have no sense of personal space?

145 replies

Hidingtheworld · 04/05/2018 15:57

I live in a ground floor flat of a converted house. I think there’s about 7 flats in total and we all share the freehold.

There’s a patio area outside my bedroom (owned by everyone) but I don’t use it. Two of my neighbours use it a lot in the nice weather.

Fine. Except they have a table and chairs right outside of my bedroom window Confused to the point that he could turn his head slightly and just be staring straight at me, (I’m currently in bed getting over an infection)

It freaks me the hell out. I don’t want a stranger staring at me in my own flipping bedroom

OP posts:
BloodyBosch · 04/05/2018 15:58

Put plants under your window to push them out a bit?

NCThatsInevitablyGoingToFail · 04/05/2018 15:58

Ugh I'd hate that! Isn't there anywhere else they could sit?

AlonsoTigerHeart · 04/05/2018 15:59

Frosted film for the window.
They've got the right to use the garden

fascinated · 04/05/2018 15:59

What would you want them to do? Could they be sitting further away? Seems awkward if the patio is jointly owned and always has been - presumably you knew the situation when you bought the place? Are you expecting them not to use it at all?

Aprilmightbemynewname · 04/05/2018 15:59

Some quite scarey gnomes from Asda would do the trick op!!

SergeantCalhoun · 04/05/2018 16:04

I was wondering who buys those gnomes.

UserV · 04/05/2018 16:04

That's weird.

@fascinated

What would you want them to do? Could they be sitting further away? Seems awkward if the patio is jointly owned and always has been - presumably you knew the situation when you bought the place? Are you expecting them not to use it at all?

What does she want them to do?! Not sit right next to her pissing bedroom window! FGS. Hmm

OP if I were you, I would ask them if they could move it away a bit. Say the chatting is disturbing you.

What weirdos! Confused

I'd do my level best to be as far AWAY from someone's bedroom window. Seems a bit pervy to me.

DougFargo · 04/05/2018 16:05

Well, if the patio is for everyone to use, why should they not use it? It sounds like a weird setup but that isn't their fault. It's not creepy to want to sit out in the sun where you can do so, and its not your personal space (quite literally), so yabvu.

Original poster
Hidingtheworld · 04/05/2018 16:05

I don’t care if they use it. But to place a table and right pushed up against my window .... no that’s no creepy to anyone?

They have a window overlooking it too, yet chose to not place it there.

None of you women would mind lying in your bed with a man you don’t know staring at you through your window? ... what a strange place mn is.

Maybe I should offer them a cup of tea to make sure they are extra comfortable

OP posts:
WhiteCoyote · 04/05/2018 16:06

Omg op are you in my old flat?! Used to HATE that patio area outside my bedroom window.

Have you thought about that mirror film stuff oh can put over windows?

DougFargo · 04/05/2018 16:06

None of you women would mind lying in your bed with a man you don’t know staring at you through your window? ... what a strange place mn is.

I most certainly would, which is why I would never choose to live in your flat. But you did, and do, and so can't really complain so much about it.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 04/05/2018 16:06

Could you just keep chipping in to their conversation? It might make them sit a bit further away...

Original poster
Hidingtheworld · 04/05/2018 16:08

They could place the table anywhere else on the patio but chose to have it pushed up against my window.

There’s a lot of space out there

To think my neighbours are either creepy or have no sense of personal space?
OP posts:
fascinated · 04/05/2018 16:09

Of course I would mind it

But it depends how big the patio is - I was wondering if they could have put it anywhere else or if the patio was really small

If it’s big enough to have put it elsewhere and putting it elsewhere on the patio would be enough for you, then YANBU and they are weird

If it’s tiny and the only solution you would be satisfied with would be for them not to use at all, then YABU and you should probably sell up

UserV · 04/05/2018 16:10

Don't explain yourself OP. Every woman on here (and man probably) would be pissed off about it!

fascinated · 04/05/2018 16:10

Aha! A diagram!

yaDnbu

adaline · 04/05/2018 16:11

I'm sure there was a thread similar to this last summer.

YANBU it would drive me mad. Not entirely sure what you can do about it though!

lindyhopy · 04/05/2018 16:11

they sound weird, I would feel so awkward sitting there . I think you should talk to them about it.

DougFargo · 04/05/2018 16:11

nice dripping btw. No mention of size of "patio" which are generally much smaller than you are now saying Hmm

lhastingsmua · 04/05/2018 16:12

When I used to live in halls, the ground floor flats had their windows tinted where you could see out but not in for privacy. That’s something your landlord will need to accommodate. Could you have a word with the men? Just (nicely) say how you’re really ill and all you can hear is them outside your window, and if it’s possible for them to move the table elsewhere and away from your window. If they’re reasonable they will understand

UrsulaPandress · 04/05/2018 16:13

Talk to them ...........

Explain.

CurcubitaPepo · 04/05/2018 16:14

Could you get a film for your window which would allow you to see out but not allow them to see in?

Original poster
Hidingtheworld · 04/05/2018 16:14

That’s something your landlord will need to accommodate

I don’t hsve a landlord. I own the freehold. As does everyone else.

OP posts:
HotSauceCommittee · 04/05/2018 16:15

Just move the table outside their window when they are not around?

Redboxonwheels · 04/05/2018 16:15

Get a ‘Magic’ blind from blinds2go.

Let’s you see out, but no one can see in, plus you still get good daylight to the room.

Saved my sanity when we lived in a house right onto the pavement with no front garden and nosy buggers passing by frequently stared in.