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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my neighbours are either creepy or have no sense of personal space?

145 replies

Hidingtheworld · 04/05/2018 15:57

I live in a ground floor flat of a converted house. I think there’s about 7 flats in total and we all share the freehold.

There’s a patio area outside my bedroom (owned by everyone) but I don’t use it. Two of my neighbours use it a lot in the nice weather.

Fine. Except they have a table and chairs right outside of my bedroom window to the point that he could turn his head slightly and just be staring straight at me, (I’m currently in bed getting over an infection)

It freaks me the hell out. I don’t want a stranger staring at me in my own flipping bedroom

OP posts:

Aridane · 04/05/2018 20:34

Amazed by poters’ memories

fascinated · 04/05/2018 20:35

Maybe OP has mental health issues

She did Say she was ill too

SofieMonde · 04/05/2018 20:36

The real mystery is what happened to the annoying smoker????? da da daaaaaaaa

flyingspaghettimonster · 05/05/2018 01:22

Oh god, say something now before it goes too far. We lived in a condo with strict rules - all communal areas were to be kept free of any personal possessions. A new couple moved in and a few days later two large planters appeared outside their front door. I didn't care, it was a pretty large wooden deck that our front doors lead out on to.

Next week there was a freaking hammock hanging over a big area of it. Well, I am way too British to say anything, but I am a bit disgruntled as we have lived there 11 years and weren't even able to use our own balcony because the housing association rules said no safety netting... yet these johnny-come-latelys are taking over the public area without so much as a slapped wrist. The following week there was a bistro table with two chairs and an ash tray. After that there were parties out there, groups of non residents smoking there all the time - once my fire alarm went off and smoke was pouring in my front door because they'd left so many fags in the tray it caught fire.

We moved away that month, but I wonder if they have completely taken over the whole place by now...

seven201 · 05/05/2018 01:50

It would annoy me. But... you probably just need to ask them to move the table and chairs further away. Explain it makes you feel awkward in your own bedroom. They'll probably apologise and move it.

echt · 05/05/2018 02:33

I remember this from last year.

shortandsweet1 · 05/05/2018 02:36

Oh FFS! Just ask them to move. Why all of the pussy footing around it. You never know, they might just not realise they are upsetting you. I get it. I've lived in a few split houses and had really mad neighbours but I don't care about them. I keep myself happy. Just talk to them. What are you scared of?

Bolokov · 05/05/2018 02:37

I would not be happy about it. Trouble is, although its highly inappropriate and intrusive , they are strictly speaking within their rights to sit there. Some people just don't get the idea of personal space. Is moving an option?.

Where I live I had a woman (total stranger) stare intently through my living room window. When I waved sarcastically to her, she smiled and waved back, apparently believing that I was being friendly. No boundaries or sense of irony there obviously.

shortandsweet1 · 05/05/2018 02:47

Argh! I've been sucked into a Friday night troll post. Slap on the wrist for me. Why do I always fall for the same thing?

thebewilderness · 05/05/2018 02:51

Put a sign in the window.

AjasLipstick · 05/05/2018 02:53

Put your own table and chairs there....tell them you want to use the spot and you'd rather they respected your privacy.

Or get frosted sheets for the window.

SD1978 · 05/05/2018 03:08

The size of the patio is a very valid one- you didn’t mention how big the area is- only that it’s owned by everyone initially- I visualised a very small paved area. How many other windows/properties does this patio involve? The diagram isn’t clear. Are there other areas that also catch the sun that the table and chairs can go? I’m assuming you’re more aware of this as you’ve been sick and in your room during the day. Personally would ask if it could be moved elsewhere as you find it disruptive being right outside your window.

Plumsofwrath · 05/05/2018 03:23

This is the third thread I’ve read in two days where the poster has been lying in bed recovering from an infection. Makes you wonder....

Dontblameitontheboogie · 05/05/2018 03:47

The terrace/garden belongs to everyone. They probably position their chairs in the most comfortable position, where they get the most sun etc. It's not that surprising that they choose to sit with their backs against a wall - that's also where I'd want to sit, basking in the sun (hopefully!)

OP, in your position I'd ask them if they mind moving a bit further away from your window, but I'd also start looking at moving. Having people that close outside my window would make my skin crawl (whether or not they were looking in). I'm afraid it sounds as if they're not being unreasonable at all.

Jux · 05/05/2018 10:49

Get some large pot plants and put them under your window so they can't keep the table there. Roses would keep them away, nice thorny ones, but they'd be sooooo pretty and smell soooo gorgeous that they surely must love them....

PrimalLass · 05/05/2018 10:54

Just tell them to move it and put a big planter in front of your own space.

HeebieJeebies456 · 05/05/2018 11:37

If they just moved further down there’d be no issue.

Years ago the HA i was with wanted to install benches in the communal area facing my living room window.....by law they had to place it a couple of metres away from my window.

So ask them to move their stuff away/nearer to their own window - why haven't you already spoken to them?
Then you can put small plant pots surrounded by larger planters outside your window to give you privacy - and also show that YOU are also using the space.

If you won't use the space or get proactive then you'll just have to put up and shut up.

IronMansIronButt · 05/05/2018 12:41

Some people just don't get the idea of personal space

There isn't any in this madeup scenario. It's not OP's personal space.

Just move the table and chairs. Since they don't exist, they should be light enough!

OneStepSideways · 05/05/2018 12:43

They are either thoughtless or get a kick out of invading your space/peeping at you in bed. I'd get that 1-way frosted film. Or pull a chair up on the other side of the window (in your bedroom) and have loud annoying phone conversations. Or move their table to the side and put your own there.

CowesTwo · 05/05/2018 13:16

I wonder if they know it’s your bedroom - not that it matters, they shouldn’t be sitting right up against any of your windows. I think they are probably just thoughtless. Does your window open outwards?

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