We're away for our anniversary.
Yesterday we got up at 3.30am for our flight. He managed to nap on the plane and again had a nap when we got to hotel. I didn't sleep at all yesterday. Plus I'm on quetiapine which knocks you out an hour or so after taking them.
Even so I managed to get out on a night out with him (drinking, cos that's all he ever wants to do) and a meal. It got to 9pm and I'm seriously starting to flag. But I kept my spirits up and tried to go on as long as possible. Idea was that due to our early morning flight we would have an early night yesterday and catch up on some intimacy as that has been seriously lacking lately - his choice, he never wants sex and has a variety of excuse (tires, kids can hear us, has had too much to drink etc etc).
But as he'd managed to nap, and then got a few drinks into him, he wanted to stay out getting hammered instead. I lasted until 10pm and then really couldn't stay out any longer, I was practically falling asleep in the bars.
He tends to be an arse hole when drunk at the best of times so I wasn't surprised when he started saying shit like "typical, away in holiday and you want an early night", "you're not enjoying your night out with me" "why you in a mood" etc etc ... none of which I reacted to.
We got to hotel and instead of going to room he wanted us to go to top of hotel to take photos. He got arsey when I said I was too tired so I went along with it to keep the peace. As he was drunk he kept taking the photo wrong and redoing it, my patience ran out so I just got back in lift and said I was going back to room. He put a face on and did his little boy sulking act of standing with his head down,muttering "oh ok, guess that's night over then, I see you hate me" etc etc ... again I didn't react.
Got back, got into bed, he put game of thrones on tv loudly. Then starts playing on the iPad. I think "ok, make the effort bossypaws" and suggest he comes to bed with me so we can enjoy a bit of "us time". He says "in a minute". Continues watching tv. Keeps iPad in hand.
Now we've not had sex for a long time. It's our anniversary ffs and I started to keep offended and frustrated that yet again, I was being rejected in favour of shit TV, iPhones/iPads and alcohol. I tried again to "seduce him" into giving me his attention (I know I shouldn't have bothered at this point but I'm fucking frustrated and desperate) and he goes off on one saying I'm clearly too tired for sex and didn't enjoy the night out and was in a mood - basically just trying to turn everything onto me. I thought as it's our anniversary I should try and keep the peace so went to give him a hug and tried to explain I was just upset that he never seems to wan intimacy. He pushed me away, told me to fuck of numerous times and said I was boring. He said I'd ruined the night by been in a mood all night (totally untrue) and made it clear that I didn't want to go out (again untrue). He carries on telling me to fuck off and calling me boring until I'm crying. Then he shags me.
It was shit as he hurt me. Probably not intentionally as he was drunk but I cant help thinking he was "angry shagging" if that makes sense?
I've woken up this mornings so fucking angry. I've had to beg my husband for sex and when he eventually decides to give in, its after swearing at me and insulting me.
He's woken up nice as pie as if nothing has happened. Happy fucking anniversary.