To set some ground rules for ndn

[Lovelise]

We moved into our house about a year and a half ago. Ndn is a youngish man who is acting as power of attorney over his house.

For the past couple of weeks he has been doing up a motorbike.

He has a court yard garden directly under out DDs window. DD has just turned 4.

The only thing is that he revs the engine to the max and fills my daughters room with petrol fumes.

Anyway, tonight was the final straw when he started revving it at 9pm this evening. I don't mind him working on it during the day and have put up with it for weeks.

I went upstairs and gave him and his possy an earful. They turned it off reluctantly. They also talk really loudly outside her window when he has friends round.

So, AIBU to go round tomorrow and ask him to not make anti social noise after 7pm as that's when DD goes to bed?

Am I at risk of sounding like my mother?

Your OP tells us you don't. Your first interaction on the subject was to 'give him an earful'. That's a very strange idea of adequate conversational skills.

I can't say anything on here which doesn't get me a ripping, so I'm off.

Thank you for making my first AIBU experience entertaining and thank you for those with helpful advice.

Good day to you all, I hope its a sunny one.

We've had people hammering and doing DIY jobs on our bedroom wall at 10pm! Which is illegal in the first place and just bloody rude and disrespectful in the second. We live in a studio so it's not like we can just sleep elsewhere.

OP you've probably understood you worded it wrong and that you went in all guns blazing which is probably out of frustration. No one would like the noise and fumes it's true.

That said I have to back the PP who suggest going around and apologising with cake or biscuits and coming to a compromise.
The summer months are coming up and when your DC are older they'll want to play outside at all hours (I know I did!!) and that'll come with noise too.

Ground Rules - I'm pleased you aren't my NDN.

But I see your point, kill him with kindness, rather than dictate

Personally I would take a bottle of wine or something and go over and apologise for shouting out of the window but explain the noise kept waking your 4 yr old up and mention her 7 bedtime and how easily she got woken up kinda thing and leave it at that for now and see how it goes. He may have enough empathy to think of her or he may be an ass anyway.

What mrcharlie at 6.23 said today.
Appeal to his conscience. Don’t apologise profusely though, just say you were sorry to be so direct. You were in the right, 9pm is way too late for that as it isn’t essential to rev his motorbike.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask any NDN to be considerate after a certain time just as it’s considerate not to let kids out playing/screaming in the garden before a certain time.

I understoood poa to mean that he is either house-sitting for an elderly relative who has gone into care, or he is executor of a will and spending time at the house while he clears and tidies it up for sale.

The significant point is that, either way, he won't be there forever. Unless he's the sole beneficiary of the will and chooses to live there, or buys the house form the estate.

So, he could be there a while and good neighbourly relations are important.

1. You can't set "ground rules" for anyone, never mind your NDN.

Maybe not a NDN, but you absolutely can set ground rules for other people.

Yanbu, OP.

Start as you mean to go.

I had a neighbour who did this. Bought a bike when DD was born, started revving it up for sodding half an hour at exactly 9pm every bloody night. He was doing it up.

Kept quiet to keep the peace. Bad idea. Several years later he woke us up for about the 10th time at 5am on a Sunday, reviving the bloody thing under my window for a good 10-15 minutes.

I went down and pointed out it was not the first time this happened. I was most likely looking unimpressed, but that's all I said. He swore at me, I turned around and haven't spoken to each other since. Guess what though - the revving at ungodly hours stopped that day. My other neighbours love me .

He was an inconsiderate rude fucker. He always was. I was stupid enough to put up with it for far too long. Wish I had "set some ground rules" on day one.

I don’t know if you’ll read this now OP, but I actually don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask a neighbour not to rev their motorbike at that time of day. I understand that not everyone has children, and it’s not illegal etc, but I don’t think it’s very considerate. I think you can ask nicely, but whether he stops will depend on him.

Who the fuck are all these people who want a vehicle revving outside their window? That shits loud, before you've even got to some modified cans and stuff. I'm guessing that as he's young and revving it it's a screaming 125 type sound rather than a low and burbly nice big-bike sound lol.

Its antisocial behaviour, but apologise sincerely for losing your shit but explain you're worried about your daughter's health and ask nicely if he will stop, then if he doesn't, take a month to record it happening and take videos/decibel readings from your phone (download an app) and take it to the council. If it was a dog barking incessantly you'd have had some very different replies, but then there's always some dickhead who says "can you offer to walk it so it's not bored" so maybe it's a Mumsnet thing!

I live right next to a pub, all the locals know I have a 10, 4 and 2 year old. Maybe I could ask them to not talk/shout loudly in their drunken state? I am sure they will all understand that their noise level should be controlled when my children sleeping!

Who was there first, Iputthescrewsinthetuna, the pub or you?

Side rant: I never understand people who move to the country and complain about the cockerels, or move in next to the quaint village pub, or move close to a school and then whinge about the noise or the parking at school run times. No shit, Sherlock.

But I do think revving a motorbike up right outside someone's house at 9pm is rude.

Revving engines at 9pm is arsehole, selfish behaviour.

Everyone is entitled to expect to a "quiet enjoyment" of their own property, but that means - unless you are living alone on a hillside - that one person's quiet enjoyment does occasionally bugger up another's quiet enjoyment.

It's not unreasonable of your ndn to make some noise after 7pm. It is entirely unreasonable of him to rev his bike so that your DD's room fills up with fumes - he is in this way intruding on your own property.

@category12 yeaaah the pub was their first, I suppose you have a point. I had mo choice to move there though. I am on council and had to move on medical grounds. Damn! No, in all fairness I have heard people come out of pub loudly and some locals have said Sshhh IPut's kids will be in bed! So I really don't have much of an argument.

I was brought up in a place where a lot of crime happened so helicopters and sirens were the norm through the night. I don't think a bike revving would fuss me too much.

I do see Ops point though, again I can't complain, the ages of my girls mean my house is very loud during the day and when younger 2 are poorly can be quite loud through the night. My lovely neighbours never complain and understand the noise, so I would never complain about night noise from them.

*there not their!

I do sympathise with you- that noise would drive me and my misophonia nuts!- but, as others have said, honey better than vinegar and all that.

I really hope that your kid is ALWAYS quiet from now on, and shows the neighbour how to behave. They will kind of have to now, won’t they, after the fuss you’ve made 😉

Seriously though, don’t push it with the bloke, as the noise could get worse!