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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To set some ground rules for ndn

122 replies

Lovelise · 03/05/2018 21:57

We moved into our house about a year and a half ago. Ndn is a youngish man who is acting as power of attorney over his house.

For the past couple of weeks he has been doing up a motorbike.

He has a court yard garden directly under out DDs window. DD has just turned 4.

The only thing is that he revs the engine to the max and fills my daughters room with petrol fumes.

Anyway, tonight was the final straw when he started revving it at 9pm this evening. I don't mind him working on it during the day and have put up with it for weeks.

I went upstairs and gave him and his possy an earful. They turned it off reluctantly. They also talk really loudly outside her window when he has friends round.

So, AIBU to go round tomorrow and ask him to not make anti social noise after 7pm as that's when DD goes to bed?

Am I at risk of sounding like my mother?

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 22:34

'Normal family noise is not motorbike engines being revved at 9pm.'

He's not breeching any noise restrictions, though, by doing so. Councils restrict by 'anti-social' noise, which means he'd pretty much have to be revving the engine day and night for it to be considered anti-social.

BoneyBackJefferson · 03/05/2018 22:35

Lovelise
Normal family noise is not motorbike engines being revved at 9pm.

Depends on the family.

RandomAccess · 03/05/2018 22:36

Hahaha.

Oh wait you were serious?

Not everything revolves around your little darling.

timeisnotaline · 03/05/2018 22:37

Absolutely you cannot ask for no noise at 7pm . I would apologise for having gone off, explain how it affects you and ask first if there’s anywhere else he could do it and second if not could he stop at 8?
Fills your daughters room with petrol... doesn’t this mean the window is open? Can’t you close it? Refusing to close her window seems to me refusing to budge at all.

adaline · 03/05/2018 22:37

And not everyone has other bedrooms to move people into.

Well, as she mentioned the noise being under DD's window, presumably the parents have their own separate room, so she can be moved into there if the noise is that bad, even if it's just until they go to bed.

If my daughter was struggling to sleep and there was a spare, quieter room available, I would move her into there. IF the noise still kept her awake, then I might go and speak to the neighbour, but not if moving rooms would solve the problem completely!

Original poster

Lovelise · 03/05/2018 22:38

Noise from house renovations have to stop by a certain time so why isn't this the same?

It has been going on day and night (early evening) for a few weeks now. I've put up with it without saying anything.

9pm tonight was my tipping point

OP posts:

WomaninGreen · 03/05/2018 22:39

I yelled at a neighbour for revving his bike generally.

He then sheepishly admitted there was no need to actually do it. Stupid wanker.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2018 22:39

a youngish man who is acting as power of attorney over his house

I would also like to know what on Earth this means

TheBigFatMermaid · 03/05/2018 22:39

What are you on about with regards to power of attorney over his house? I don't understand. I have worked in elderly care and people get power of attorney over people! They act for them in a legal capacity when they are unable to act for themselves. A house can never act in a legal capacity! Can you explain please?

As for setting ground rules, he is not your teenage child he is your neighbour or power of attorney for the house person whatever the fuck that means you should maybe try to negotiate for him to behave in a manner that suits you and your child and his proximity to you, rather than try to set ground rules. Setting ground rules is likely to be antagonistic and cause him and his posse to disrupt your life more than they would have otherwise. Negotiation and explanation might get a result nearer to what you hope to achieve!

WomaninGreen · 03/05/2018 22:40

OP cross post
Good point re house renovations though

FrancisCrawford · 03/05/2018 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Lovelise · 03/05/2018 22:41

I don't expect no noise. I expect noise to be kept to a considerate level.

There is no spare room available. That is her room that she sleeps in. She has her toys in there and we have decorated it nicely for her.

OP posts:

adaline · 03/05/2018 22:43

But OP, I think the point is that you've not even tried to solve the problem on your end, you've just gone round and yelled at your neighbour.

Surely the first step would be to close her window and use white noise or something, to see if that helped? If possible, put her to sleep in another, quieter part of the house, then go and speak to him if none of those options were working?

He doesn't have to worry about her bedtime - he's not her parent. That's your job. I get it's frustrating but it's your job to make sure she gets a good night sleep as far as possible, not his.

FrancisCrawford · 03/05/2018 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moominfan · 03/05/2018 22:45

Charm is your tactic, he's not breaking any rules. Being bossy won't do you any favours. Not everyone is a parent and has a "please think of the children" pearl clutching mentality

lozster · 03/05/2018 22:45

Sheesh - you may have phrased this badly and not done the best thing by losing your rag but seriously... who wants a motorbike reviving under their window at any time?? and who on earth wants their kid woken up or to lug their 4 year old around the house to different rooms to avoid this? It’s unreasonable and aggravating.

TheBigFatMermaid · 03/05/2018 22:46

I repeat... What are you on about with regards to power of attorney over his house? I don't understand. I have worked in elderly care and people get power of attorney over people! They act for them in a legal capacity when they are unable to act for themselves. A house can never act in a legal capacity! Can you explain please?

Answer this please!

Original poster

Lovelise · 03/05/2018 22:47

I opened the window and asked if they could turn the engine off because I had a child trying to go to sleep. I used a firm tone.

I didn't go round with my rolling pin!

I also didn't knock on the door because that meant leaving the house with 2 children in bed.

Poa was just for background. Not sure why I thought it was relevant.

OP posts:

OldHag1 · 03/05/2018 22:49

If the fumes are getting into your house/your daughters bedroom is the exhaust pointing to your house? If so ask hi. To turn the bike around 180. All you can do is appeal to his better nature re talking etc. Maybe speak to the council and ask for advice re bike noise.

FrancisCrawford · 03/05/2018 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Batmanwearspants · 03/05/2018 22:56

I think 7pm is too early to ask for noise to be stopped I’m afraid. I don’t get home from work till 6.30pm

Revving his engine at 9pm is annoying and you have every right to ask him nicely to keep it down but you described him as “giving him an earful” and want to “set him ground rules” which is why people here have now got there backs up.

FrancisCrawford · 03/05/2018 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 03/05/2018 22:57

Actually the age of the child is more or less irrelevant. If my ndn started revving a bloody motorbike at 9.00pm right outside my house I wouldn't be happy either and I have no children, aged 4 or otherwise.

The thing is, you need to start off with a nice conciliatory tone when asking him to stop, otherwise you have nothing to build up to.

Just ask him tomorrow if he really needs to do it, can he do it earlier in the day and also let him know that exhaust fumes are coming into your house. He may just be thoughtless rather than a twat.

WomaninGreen · 03/05/2018 22:58

Blimey, the OP used one wrong phrase, let it go!

Op when you get a mo, go round and ask him to be considerate. Also please ask him why he's revving the bike. Everyone in my block of my flats thanked me when our bike wanker stopped

CalF123 · 03/05/2018 23:00

You can't set "ground rules" for anyone, never mind your NDN.
7pm is not "antisocial hours" regardless of when your DD goes to bed.
Your PFB's bedtime doesn't dictate what other people can do in their garden.

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