To not want to work for £3.58 an hour?

[DontHaveAGoPlease]

Going to get absolutely flamed for this!

I'm a single mum to 1, in regards to UC, I get the equivalent to a monthly full time wage this includes CM.

If I go back to work for 22 hours a week, I will be effectively earning the above an hour.

Do I just suck it up or wait for my DS to get his 15 Hours free??

I am desperate to work but I'd hate to look back and regret outsourcing my childcare all for the above. Shall I just suck it up and go for it or suck it up and look after my ds??

I've already braced myself for the flaming!

Most of us aren't paying into the system. You need to be a very high earner to be contributing more than you are using in public services. Anyway, you'll only cost more if you shoot your mental health to shit and have a breakdown anyway.

PoorYorick Is spot on.

Oops, wrong thread!

My partner went back to work part time when our child was 2, we were only £20 better off a week as a result but it saved his sanity and now he is in a well paying job.

Mummycuddles, I'm going to guess that post wasn't meant for this thread. However, you have just proved most PP's points. Parenting is hard, fact!

You are someone with a DH who isn't helping out but you need him to do more.

Sadly, if I had been up since 4:30am and my DS needed looking after at 4:30pm, even if I felt I might die from exhaustion......for me it was tough shit, I had/have 0 relief.

So to all the benefit bashers and the women with partners. Please pipe down.....given that most of you are the same ones who kick off on other threads telling women to ltb if their OH isn't doing enough.

It's not easier, trust me, I'm living that life right now.

Fruitcider, but he had you to do the childcare, to pick up where he left.

He wasn't running around trying to get his kids to nursery/school, go to work, pick them up and then go home & do absolutely everything on his own.

Again, I'm alllll by myself!

OP, I worked for nearly 30years (some of it as a higher rate tax payer).

When life turned very hard and my son was struggling (autism) I posted on Mumsnet for advice. Stupidly I thought other mothers might understand (and to be fair many did).

My question was about the pros and cons of giving up work and what the drawbacks of stopping work for a while might mean.

I will never forget the poster who responded that the negative would all be for the taxpayer who would pick up my tab. I was frankly shocked that any other parent could be so callous. The poster in question did not use their usual posting name ...cowardice I suspect.
I pointed out that I had been one of those tax payers since 1985 so wouldn't feel guilty if I needed time out to support my child. My marriage had broken down I was struggling with an autistic child on my own and trying to no,d everything together. The best thing I ever did was take time out...it improved my mental health and meant I could focus on my son who had specific needs.

I would advise you to stay strong, do what feels RIGHT FOR YOU and not a load of random people (and this thread will include trolls too) tell you to do. You know your family and circumstances. Make decisions according to those circumstances.

What happened to the OH you had yesterday in another post? Not really all be yourself.

boxsets! We've been "official" 3 weeks!

He works away 6 days a week and actually lives in a completely different city to me. Oh and he's not my DS's father.

Fruitcider, but he had you to do the childcare, to pick up where he left.

😂 no, he certainly did not have me to do the childcare. I was s student nurse on placement (working for free) for 40 hours a week, doing paid work 12 hours a week and writing my assignments at home.

You missed the point anyway. He only earned £20 more after benefits changed. For 16 hours a week. And he still did it for his own personal development. It's not always about the money.

Hasn't OP already said it is a job with no prospects? So there's not much chance of personal development.

I took a job when my baby was tiny. She's eleven now. I stayed in that job through leaving DH, I missed all her natavities and bring your parent to work and most of parent's evenings through working twelve hour days.

I'm still in the same job. Do you know how much more I earn now? £0, that's how much. With the exception of the NMW increases, I am in exactly the same position as I was eleven years ago and still need top-ups to live.

I cut my hours down to eight hours a week, went self-employed and went back to college last year. My top-ups increased and I'm not the tiniest bit ashamed because do you know how much more I would be earning in another eleven years if I hadn't? £0, that's how much.

Not all jobs are the same and not all jobs will lead on to bigger and better things.

To the poster who mentioned college and it not being fair it's only single mothers who get the chance to leave or postpone work to educate themselves, I wholeheartedly agree. It's not fair. Personally I'd like to see all underemployed people given the chance to take a year or two out to educate themselves. It makes far more sense to me than leaving people stagnating in underpaid jobs and living on tax credits and housing benefit.

There are evening courses available and for low income adults, they are normally funded through grants but finding the energy to go to college after a twelve hour shift in a busy cafe is fucking exhausting. I know, I've been there. It's not impossible but it's not easy.

Why are you singling out childcare? No one goes round saying ‘gosh, I have to pay rent/utilities/food, therefore I’m only working for £3 an hour.’

If you’re looking for reasons not to work, then fill your boots. But frankly, childcare is a necessary expense and many of us have been there; in fact I only just broke even once I had more than one child.

Aim high, go for a job with prospects and you’re more likely to see the point of looking long term.

When I returned to work after having my first two, I early £200 a month after all of my costs.

I loved going to work and having a job though (I worked in a school so had school holidays).

Whilst I missed out on bits, I was really happy to be working. It felt so nice to be part of an active community and to be something other than mummy.

I am now self employed and whilst it's great, I do miss my old job!

Momo, because if my ex & hadn't have left me in the shit, I wouldn't have childcare to pay for.

He was going to make up for where I lost out. No childcare of any sort was needed. Please don't give me the crap of "well you shouldn't have relied on him", yes I should and did, because I didn't fall pregnant like the Virgin Mary......he participated willingly. I didn't force him, I didn't tell him I was keeping the baby against his wishes, I actually kept the baby against mine!

He whole heartedly promised me he'd be here for the baby, we both made the same promise!

I'm sick of people who think I should just suck it up and accept he doesn't want responsibility! Well I don't want 100% so can I drop my kid off to SS 3.5 days a week?? No?? Why?? Because it's wrong!