To not want to work for £3.58 an hour?

[DontHaveAGoPlease]

Going to get absolutely flamed for this!

I'm a single mum to 1, in regards to UC, I get the equivalent to a monthly full time wage this includes CM.

If I go back to work for 22 hours a week, I will be effectively earning the above an hour.

Do I just suck it up or wait for my DS to get his 15 Hours free??

I am desperate to work but I'd hate to look back and regret outsourcing my childcare all for the above. Shall I just suck it up and go for it or suck it up and look after my ds??

I've already braced myself for the flaming!

Thank you to the posters who offered support & advice, I really appreciate it

You do understand that you will have to start attending the Jobcentre now that DC is 1? Not every week but you will certainly be expected to start making plans to get back to work.

You should work. Benefits are there for people who don’t have the luxury of choice - for those who cannot work.

You could work, your OP asks whether you should choose to or not. Benefits should never be a choice, they should be what you claim because you need them to survive. Not what you claim because you would prefer not to work for less than half the week.

And I get that it’s unfair you have to pick up all the slack your ex chose to drop - but you also made the decision to have a child. With that decision comes the responsibility.

Wow the anti-benefits rhetoric is in full force in this thread then!

So the choice is:

1. Stay at home with DS who is just a baby and biologically programmed to want close contact with his primary caregiver. Watch him growing, help him to learn and develop and to reach his full potential.

Receive enough UC to pay for a healthy balanced diet and clothing for your son and for you and to pay for classes and groups.

OR

1. Work:

On the one hand have the chance to advance in your career. On the other miss out on your son's key developmental milestones

Pay a high proportion of your wage to childcare and end up poorer at the end of it but possibly wealthier in the future if you get promoted in time.

Stay at home with DS who is just a baby and biologically programmed to want close contact with his primary caregiver. Watch him growing, help him to learn and develop and to reach his full potential.

On the one hand have the chance to advance in your career. On the other miss out on your son's key developmental milestones

so working parents don't have close contact with their babies, won't help them learn and wont help their DC to reach their full potential and they miss out on milestone?

Cringe. his post is so incredibly naive, shortsighted and plain stupid. just cringe

@saison4 I have a much closer bond with my 3rd child whom I stay at home with, than I do my elder two who were in nursery from 6 months old. Whether that’s relevant or not is another thread

You do understand that you will have to start attending the Jobcentre now that DC is 1? Not every week but you will certainly be expected to start making plans to get back to work.

I know just about everything there is to know about the benefit system, I worked with unemployed people, helping them get back into work.

I've had a chat with my advisor, who has absolutely 0 clue as to how benefits work (oh the irony). I won't be expected to find work until DS is 3.

tart, you cannot maki sweeping and general judgements based on your 3 DC

In case anyone thought I was wrong.

Also, I am doing volunteer work, a course and currently updating my CV. I also attend the JC (off my own back, not because I'm asked to) to see a careers advisor to see how I can gain a better future when I do work.

I'm not sat here on my ass (okay maybe I am after a tiring day).

I didn’t say you had to start working now, I said you will have to attend the JC and prepare for work. I work in a JC and am well aware of the conversations that take place and you will be expected to engage in these conversations.
I was a LP for several years, working FT and it is tough but I managed and my DC have turned out ok .

The welfare system is there, I get it, so I do.

If everyone did the same, we wouldn't be able to fund the NHS, schools, take care of the sick etc.

The welfare system is an important safety net for those who can't work, not those who just prefer the alternative. Why should you stay at home, and not the mother of an anorexic daughter or the daughter of a frail parent?

Stay at home if you wish but just don't claim benefits please.

If everyone did the same, we wouldn't be able to fund the NHS, schools, take care of the sick etc

Yet the welfare system wouldn't be paid out to anyone who hadn't paid in.

Don't you remember the documentary of today's people going to the state to ask for money back in the 40's and a person in a wheelchair was turned away because they hadn't paid in??

How council houses were primarily for families on low incomes??

Honestly the biggest mistake you have made is asking MN . I just watched rich house poor house. It took the rich people living the poor life to get it .
Even been a Lp varies. Some have great support and family . Some are purely doing it all alone . For some taking a break would restrict future earnings for some on mw will make no odds what so ever.

People also have an idea that Lp working will save them so much taxes when in actual fact they forget how most of child care is paid through the same system.

I would seriously hide this thread and get on doing what is right for you . Post in Lp if you want support

Yabu I was a single mom for ds who was one at the time ex left me for someone else it was a fact of life but I felt For my own sanity it was right to go back to work. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable not returning to work even though it meant I missed out on time with ds.

I don't really understand why people are saying OP isn't "entitled" to benefits - well the government have decided that she is until her child is 3. They don't expect her to be actively seeking work until then. So yes she is entitled to claim.

If you can spend the time bettering your situation OP then do it. I also did volunteering and a course while I was on benefits and it helped me get back into work. My confidence was shot to be honest though after spending time out of work so I'd try and keep a foot in the door.

I intend to keep my options open but also be able to pick back up, where I left off.

I just can't take anything that requires evenings or weekends as I've absolutely 0 childcare options and can't afford a babysitters rate.

I'm also worried my mental health will go down the pan whilst stretching myself even further (I have a long history of mental health issues I'm currently working with a mental health organisation to address these).

Makes me realise the stigma SP's get.

It has nothing to do with single parents. Don't be obtuse.

It has to do with you not wanting to work, for ridiculous reasons you've convinced yourself are legitimate.

My mother was a single parent. I certainly wouldn't have respected her for staying at home with me, keeping us dependent on benefits, instead of working to better our futures (which is what she did).

But, by all means, crack on. Just don't expect that people will sit idly by and support your decision to live on the taxpayer's dime when you could be working.

It is everything to do with single parents, as evidenced by how much more acceptable this would be if it were a married woman. It's not just money that is lacking for single parents, it's the emotional and mental support as well and the additional pair of hands for housework.

I doubt anyone on this thread would change their tune if it was a married would refusing to work so that they could get benefits. You've not actually provided evidence to support your claim.

@saison4 I didn’t make any such statement - I simply stated my own personal experience.

It’s ridiculous. You get threads on here with double income families struggling to survive on £50000 a year with people chiming in sympathising yet a single parent with no support who can only realistically earn £7000 or £8000 a year part time around school hours being told to ‘suck it up’

You get more money in the form of wtc and childcare support than you do in income support anyway.

What a sad and prejudiced world we live in.

OP you do what is best for you and your baby and don’t worry what people think. Here’s hoping none of their husbands pass away or run off with a younger model and they be in your position, as it’s a shit place to be.

many of the middle class people with terrible opinions on here are probably paying for those who have low paid or non existent jobs
They're lucky to be middle class, and able to go back to work and earn enough to cover childcare plus still have enough left over to make it worth working. Not everyone has that opportunity. I'm sure those who have to stay at home on benefits because their low paid job would barely cover childcare would happily swap and have a career with prospects and money in their pocket, even if they had to pay some tax to subsidise the less fortunate.

Concentrate on studying, but study a specific subject with a career in mind. Use the time wisely and productively so you will be in a better position in a year or so. Don’t leave it to long and if you can volunteer in a relevant role do so - do you have childcare for your volunteer role? My position isn’t the same but I did the above while home with kids and have a professional job with real prospects. I studied for my exams with second hand books. Identifying a specific profession was key, don’t just do courses for the sake of it or in lower paid fields. Local government or other public sector admin roles can offer progression as well as potentially being more flexible (previous career in the public sector). Enjoy the time but invest some in yourself. You’ll end up paying more tax overall than if you wrk endlessly in dead-end jobs.

You're charming aren't you Reddwarves, did you sue the compassion school you attended?

Lucky you that your Mum was able to work. My Mum worked when my Dad walked away too but mine wasn't the positive experience yours was. I would much rather she had been at home to protect me from the babysitter/childminder. We still lived in poverty.

You might be entitled to 15 hours free childcare when your DS is 2. That would enable you to get a part-time job if you want one.

Realistically, that's one year out of employment (I'm not counting your year of maternity which everyone is entitled to as if we start bashing that, it really is a race to the bottom). A year or two out won't really damage your job prospects if you're looking at minimum wage jobs. However, it'll be good for you and DS to be together. Raising children is a job, and one that should be valued by society (hence why Income Support until age 3 used to be a thing).

I think you mentioned you're studying. That's brilliant to further your job prospects. It'd be harder still if you were caring for DS and working. I'd look at the long-term game if you can.