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Original poster

To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

521 replies

Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 17:49

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

OP posts:
YouCantGetHereFromThere · 04/05/2018 20:31

Not all labours are painful - particularly if you are physically fit, with good abdominals and good core strength.

I wasn't in the slightest bit fit, couldn't identify my abdominals if I tried, and no core strength. My labours weren't all that painful. I have no stretch marks.

My super-fit friend pregnant at the same time as me ended up with a 72 hour labour ending in a C-section.

It's all just personal experience. No point patting yourself on the back for something that was basically luck.

Momo18 · 04/05/2018 20:44

Imo it feels like your being tortured to death, well my 3rd did! 1st had an epidural after long but not too bad slow labour, 2nd I somehow managed to stay stood up and I can tell you the difference in the pain was amazing, 3/4 of the pain disappeared, apparently as gravity stopped my body pounding me with contractions.

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/05/2018 20:57

Not all labours are painful - particularly if you are physically fit, with good abdominals and good core strength

I totally disagree with this, there are lots of factors. I was VERY fit with my second, indeed I went to the gym daily during pregnancy and did pump and body combat back to back the day before birth and I was 42! Very strong abs and in overall excellent good physical condition. I didn't show until I was nearly 7 months pregnant. But at the end of the day, it still hurt like fuck and while I might have been better able than other to stand, squat, whatever, it certainly didn't lessen the pain. I can honestly say that in terms of agony, my fitness made zero difference.

kaytee87 · 04/05/2018 21:02

@ALongHardWinter that's so funny, when my back went into spasm and I couldn't move. The paramedic asked me to compare it to labour, I said it was like a bad contraction (but only one, not 24 hours of them) then I got all the drugs!

Mesoavocado · 04/05/2018 21:08

It’s very subjective

I am in no way physically fit - always in the overweight category etc

However my labour was long and tiring but not particularly painful. Just like nippy pain and pressure and required no drug

But everyone and every labour is different for every person

Altimate · 04/05/2018 21:16

This thread shows it is different for every woman. Please make sure you tell her that, OP, and that it is not a competition for the best or the worst. But it is a very, very strong physical process, with lasting effects on your body regardless.
(My two were really not that bad, no epidurals, only 2 hours for the second, no stretch marks but a big tear with the first).

Anewhope · 04/05/2018 21:20

Personally I'd tell her it's different for everyone but totally bearable. If she needs the drugs, take the drugs but if not, power through.. I'd also suggest she looks into hypnobirthing. I don't like scaremongering other women over the pain of childbirth. I appreciate that some women have horrendous experiences but some have great ones.

yorkrose · 04/05/2018 21:52

Excruciating!

Two weeks over due, 10lbs, stitched incorrectly and took months to recover. Didn't have another one.

Just tell her to book in for an epidural. Don't let her read MN!

MarvellousMonsters · 04/05/2018 22:13

Not actually very painful, I broke a toe once, that hurt more than labour/contractions. It’s hard work, it’s intense, and can be overwhelming at times, but if you aren’t afraid, if you stay upright and mobile it’s really not that bad. Being on your back will make it much more painful.

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 04/05/2018 22:15

My labour was a blur I dont even remember the pain. It was 23 minutes start to finish on zero pain relief. I do however the pain of weeing for 10 days after and the pain of them teying to get the placenta unstuck using god knows what rubbing against my horrendous tear.

Labour is grim but a necessary grim.

Shadowboy · 04/05/2018 22:16

A Chinese burn. On ya foo. Pretty much it.

Runninglateeveryday · 04/05/2018 22:36

I begged the midwife to kill me for the final 3 hours 😬. I got used to the contractions mine were like really bad period pains, I thought this isn't so bad , till the pushing began. I don't even know how to describe if, the midwife said many people say "it's like trying to pooh out a washing machine". I have never felt pain like it and truly thought I was dying.

I think you forget after, or you'd never have more.

Missnearlyvintage · 04/05/2018 22:38

My DM didn't tell me what the pain was like on purpose - she just said 'it can't be that bad otherwise no one would do it again'. She told me that she had deliberately not told me what it was like for her until after I had a sub-optimal labour that ended up in EMCS as she didn't want to scare me! I didn't find this helpful and would have rather been more prepared!

I had two 'back labours', and if anyone asked I would gladly try to describe as best as I could, so that they knew at least one of the ways it could feel, in a multitude of millions of feelings that I'm sure so many women feel during labour.

Personally I felt the absolute worst squeezing pushing sharp pressure on my lower back/spine each time I had a contraction. It was like someone was trying to stab me from the inside and the outside each time I had a contraction with a hot blunt object. A TENS machine was invaluable in my second labour, when I was anticipating this back pain. The hurt of the TENS on full, was better than the hurt of the contractions.

As far as the actual birth, no one told me either that if it is vaginal, you might actual feel babies head coming out and touching sensitive bits 'down there'. So it's such a strange sensation. The pain that you know will not stop until you get the baby out - which is the thing that kept me pushing!

I think I could describe my labours quite accurately, but I don't know if they would represent the birthing population! I would definitely use that as a disclaimer if I was talking to anyone about it!

Mrsmadevans · 04/05/2018 22:40

It is little like when you are constipated really badly, with a massive pooh and you are trying to get it out and it is ripping you apart x 1000

xxyzz · 04/05/2018 22:43

I had 2 with no pain relief for one and gas and air for the other. It hurt a bit.

The most painful thing I've ever experienced was having my finger trapped in a car door when my dh dropped a TV (one of the big old ones) so I had the full force of that slamming the door on my finger. Also colitis, which was like someone cutting my insides with knives.

By comparison, drug-free childbirth was pretty low down the scale.

Don't panic. And there are excellent painkillers and epiduals if it hurts. Had that for my first - felt nothing.

Purplealienpuke · 04/05/2018 22:51

My experience was fucking awful. Very long painful labour. Like shitting a bowling ball 😲. That bad I only did it once .....

Singadream · 04/05/2018 22:56

Not read the whole thread but I would explain it as like a period pain cramp multiplied by 1000 but one that builds to a peak and then ebbs away again and that your body produces enough hormones for you to be able to deal with it (ha - I had an epidural every time, so what would I know, though went from 0-8cm in two hours before getting my epidural a with dc2). But while I remember I was in terrible pain and hated it and my mind kind of went out of my body with it, I cannot summon up a feeling of what the pain is like so it is true that you forget. Our antenatal teacher said you are ready when you can't even talk any more and that was true - while I was waiting to get my epidural I remember a well meaning but irritating midwife or auxiliary talking to me while the anaesthetist prepared and asking me if I was having a boy or a girl and I couldn't even be arsed or manage to say we don't know. In fact the one helpful thing dh did in any of my three labours was tell her that I did not want to talk

Singadream · 04/05/2018 22:57

There is a great book called Bumpology by Linda Geddes that scientifically looks at loads of baby related stuff and she asks the question of what hurts most - have a leg amputated without anaesthetic or giving birth and she concludes it is the former. I am not convinced.

SittingAround1 · 04/05/2018 23:00

It felt like someone was pumping air into my whole lower back area and just when it reached max they pumped some more until it felt like my whole body was going to explode and they'd find me in pieces in the floor.

Then I had an epidural. The best thing ever.

I could not believe how painful it could possibly be.

redfairy · 04/05/2018 23:01

I can remember thinking how can I be in so much pain and not die.

Thanksforthatamazingpost · 04/05/2018 23:09

I remember gradually being drawn into a place where there was just me and the pain.

ShastaBeast · 04/05/2018 23:15

Back to back labour - like someone shoving a bowling ball up your arse. Horrendous and failed to progress so opted for epidural before the drip induction. Epidurals are amazing.

Second not back to back, walk in the park in comparison, no need for any pain relief. Like very bad period pains. Painful enough to make me moan once when transitioning. The pushing didn’t hurt but felt horrible. I never want to do it again. I actually felt more traumatised by my text book perfect birth than my medicalised first. Epidurals are amazing. Can’t say it enough.

I suffered badly with post birth contractions both times. Just as painful as the real thing especially when breastfeeding, they are essential period pains but the clots are like golf balls. I took codeine for those. Birth is brutal and trying to breastfeed on top is beyond insanity. I have no idea how people coped (or still do) without modern medicine, we are very lucky in comparison.

Mrsramsayscat · 04/05/2018 23:15

I always thought it was like cramp, but with intervals.

snufflehuff · 04/05/2018 23:16

There you go.

To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?
Tillytrotter123 · 04/05/2018 23:18

I was told by a friend that 'it smarts a bit' and everyone downplayed the pain when I was pregnant. My DD is now 6 weeks old and and I don't think there are words to describe the pain! There wasn't an anesthetist available and I was left at 10cms for 5 hours before I was taken into theatre. I honestly thought I was dying, it's like your insides are being ripped out, which I suppose they are!