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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

521 replies

Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 17:49

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

OP posts:
Vicksykate · 04/05/2018 23:32

I had an induction, that ended in an emergency C Section. My contractions felt like something inside me was expanding so large to the point that I might tear in half. Genuinely thought I might die at points. I was roaring like a dinosaur. They had to give me an epidural and other drugs because they were worried that my uterus was going to rupture. And this is coming from somebody who was adamant on no pain relief, and had been practicing hypnobirthing! Apparently inductions bring on much stronger contractions than natural labour.

kyph09 · 04/05/2018 23:33

I would describe it as feeling like your insides are being pulled out of your arse!

InspMorse · 04/05/2018 23:34

I've had 'normal' labours and deliveries..

Apparently.

Felt like I was being cut in half orr stabbed through my stomach whilst at the same time being stabbed in my back. It was the most horrendous, continuous pain I have ever felt.

Not helpful information to to give to anyone contemplating getting pregnant.

Rainbowblume · 04/05/2018 23:35

DH was told by midwife to tell me to save energy and not scream so much - I was ahhhh-ing actually which was working for me. I managed ok then let rip. I vaguely heard midwife saying No no, now it's ok to be scream now as DH tried to shush me during crowning. You try shushing when a melon's coming out your bits.

I remember 2 weeks after telling my sister in law - they say you forget. I won't you know. I think I may have looked a bit mad and wild eyed as I said it. Grin

Vicksykate · 04/05/2018 23:36

Also, when the pushing contractions came, it felt like my body was trying to throw her up. But I was only 5cm dilated. Hence the C Section.

Scabbersley · 04/05/2018 23:49

I have absolutely no stretch marks

I never even thought about that until now

gluteustothemaximus · 05/05/2018 00:07

Oh my god the afterpains!!!

Third baby onwards, afterpains as bad as contractions.

Singadream · 05/05/2018 00:51

Oh god I forgot. After pains, especially when breastfeeding. Get worse with every child. I remember laughing when they offered paracetamol because I had my own stash of cocodemol hidden in my hospital bag. Wow how could i have forgotten.

insomuchpain · 05/05/2018 00:58

Had a coil put in yesterday, my ex-dp said he has never seen me in so much pain. I was in labour for nearly thirty hours no pain relief.

This I was screaming and crying and begging my ex to help me.

It felt like labour but because it was yesterday I can remember the pain.

I felt like...someone going inside your doo day and clenching your womb and pulling and stabbing it until you can't breath and then they finally let go just to do it again. There ya go. Your welcome.

Aylarose · 05/05/2018 01:00

I feel so sorry for first time pregnant mothers reading this thread. I'm not pregnant but have decided that I will definitely either have an epidural or cesarean if I ever am lucky enough to have a baby.

There could be two intentions behind people's responses to this thread either:

  1. To terrify and distress those who've not had babies yet based on the assumption that non-mothers anticipate that the pain is not as bad as it really is.

OR

  1. To warn mothers-to-be and those who've not had their kids yet to opt for epidurals and cesareans so that they do not have to feel like they are dying, that their internal organs are being put through a vice or as though they are shitting out televisions and melons.

I'm hoping it was the latter!

DeadDoorpost · 05/05/2018 01:07

Ive been no help to those asking me Howie was. Gas and air did wonders. I don't remember the pain at all.

In fact, I don't remember any of the birth.

I do remember the contractions though and they felt like everything inside me was being squeezed and torn and stomped on harder and harder each time. And then like a red hot poker was being forced into me.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 05/05/2018 01:20

I'd always had horrendous periods and thus was similar but didn't last as long.The pushing bit wasn't painful for me except for the sting as the head comes through as another as her elbow came through an tore me.
Everyone is different though,my sil had fast labours and had her last at home as the midwife could get to her in time rather than Inthe car on the way to hospital.

TheClitterati · 05/05/2018 02:00

I really didn't find it very painful either time.

I found it very uncomfortable and a very physical exhausting journey but not really painful. I say "journey" not to be cheesy but because it's a one way street. Once it starts you just have to keep going.

I did have lots of gas and air though. ,

Abbylee · 05/05/2018 04:08

It hurt but not as much as waiting for a teenager to come home after a door slamming fight.

I was interested in Catherine's prep for birth that emphasizes calm? I have qfever which left me with extreme muscle pain. I found that breathing and not panicking is helpful.

shelikesemwithamoustache · 05/05/2018 06:46

It depends, I think. My first labour,I thought was painful but was the traditional come and go contractions and whilst exceptionally painful, it built up and was not as bad as I was expecting. My second labour was 40minutes start to finish with no let up, just constant contraction and no time for any pain relief. I remember thinking that if someone had offered to shoot me in the head to stop it, I would have gladly taken their offer. That’s how painful it was, I would have rather died that keep going.

caringcarer · 05/05/2018 08:20

Closest thing I can think is like shitting a football.

brogueish · 05/05/2018 09:22

Due to have my first in a month and have found this thread really reassuring actually.

If I feel like I'm going to die, I probably won't; the worst bit is usually right at the end; take the painkillers as/when necessary; and if I'm lucky, it might be totally fine anyway. Sorted. Thanks!

Thishatisnotmine · 05/05/2018 09:37

brougeish I think most people on this thread will agree that when you suddenly become covinced that you can't do it, you never really wanted a baby anyway, you hate everyone around you - that is a sign you are in transition and the end is in sight!

Belindabauer · 05/05/2018 09:41

My dd was laid back to back and the pain shooting through me was unimaginable.
I felt like someone was stabbing me through my vagina whilst asking me to sit down on the knife at the same time.

Belindabauer · 05/05/2018 09:46

I should have had a casearen but the aneithitist was called to another department. Long time ago when the maternity ward didn't have their own anesthetist.
Had every available doctor in the room with me.
Nothing compared to the pain.

DeadDoorpost · 05/05/2018 10:18

thishatisnotmine I remember saying to my DH I didn't want the baby anymore. Think I gave birth soon after that. But as my previous post said, I don't remember any of it. Thanks for your comment. Never heard that before.

Bekstar · 05/05/2018 10:42

I would just explain that it's different for everyone. I was told horror story upon horror story and became quite frightened to be honest. Even to the point I begged for a c-section. Thankfully though doctor didn't agree and I had DS naturally and found out that for me it wasn't as bad. I have aspergers and my pain tolerance is totally different than most. A tag rubbing from clothing actually hurts more than labour did. I was on Facebook at 9 and a half cm dilated. It's no good telling her how bad it can be, just explain that it can be different for everyone. Some just literally drop them out and don't feel so much pain whereas others can be in agony. I don't remember any pain just tiredness. Despite my labour lasting 22 hours from induction. I found been induced more uncomfortable and the pain of been put in stirrups. However I didn't even realise I had had him until doc told me to put my phone away and take my baby. I had no pain relief at all. In fact they didn't belive I was having contractions despite me telling them. They were not gonna bother doing an exam until a nurse who also had an autistic child asked that they do because my pain tolerance may be different. I gave birth minutes later.

LookMoreCloselier · 05/05/2018 11:20

I think it's like the cramp you get when you've got the shits real bad. But obviously more prolonged. Then crowning is like it's on fire up there, as burny as you can imagine. But unlike pretty much any other pain we experience, it's a positive pain and not a sign that something is wrong.

corythatwas · 05/05/2018 12:02

How can you warn somebody about something you have no idea what it's going to be like for her?

This really is individual. I didn't have a euphoric empowering birth, but it certainly wasn't the most painful or scary experience of my life either. Nowhere near as bad as having pleurisy, for instance. Have had dentistry-related experiences that were also much worse.

In fact, the only bit I remember as unbearably painful was the internal examination at the start of labour when a midwife grabbed hold of my cervix and told me that "I'm just going to keep squeezing this so you get used to the sensation". Still have no idea why I had to get used to the sensation since nothing happened to me in either of my two labours that was even the slightest bit similar. But no need to warn anyone about this since it was clearly a) quite unusual b) completely unnecessary

SingingOutOfTune · 05/05/2018 12:04

Shednik hit it on the head. Remember they cut me and I barely noticed. Just registered when they did I was going to need a few stitchesConfused