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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope that all parents who put photos of their children on FB/Insta/Twitter end up getting sued . . .

436 replies

Harumphy · 03/05/2018 14:14

. . . by their grown-up children for breach of privacy.

Children have absolutely no say or control over what is shared by their parents, or with whom it is shared.

My family member has posted, on her public Instagram feed, her son's full name, date of birth, and every waking moment. Now that information will be out there for anyone to consume. At best, this could erode the boy's sense of self-esteem, security, and privacy. At worst, the data can be used to commit identity fraud or give a stranger the information they need to socially engineer access to him.

And I don't care if you say that you get consent before you post anything, because children don't have full knowledge of the context of their decision. They are not cognisant of the whole range of risks.

I also don't care if you say your FB/Insta/Twitter is private. Social networking sites are porous. Facebook in particular is never private, and the data you share will never be expunged.

I think it's not your place, and it's not your right.

OP posts:
NoNoCharlieRascal · 04/05/2018 00:10

I had a couple on my fb timeline who always posted pics of their ds, except they put stickers over his face. Until I met him I just guessed he was fuck ugly Wink

I don't have fb any more but very few pics of ds went on there. Usually just milestones or family pics when out.

Dh and I are both useless at taking photos so I actually wonder that when ds is older he will moan his friends have a life story to look at and he has little in comparison.

Ohmydayslove · 04/05/2018 00:11

and you should be careful

Ok can see why you are a tad paranoid.

Ohmydayslove · 04/05/2018 00:12

i guessed he was fuck ugly

GrinGrin

Belphegor · 04/05/2018 01:26

YANBU. I'm also dumbfounded at how much some parents put online. There is a new generation of children kicking against it - can't be bothered to read all the replies to see if it's been mentioned but off the top of my head I'm thinking that girl who is suing her parents for their pictures.

40isnew50 · 04/05/2018 02:09

Get over yourself

GoldenMcOldie · 04/05/2018 02:23

I can't work myself to a head of steam on what others do.

OP you don't post pics. Other people do. If they are not pictures of you or your children I can't understand why you are so het up about it.

Parents being proud of their kids isn't a crime you know.

LuluMarie · 04/05/2018 02:46

I agree with your sentiment OP !

Maybe not suing parents, but it amazes me the things people share publicly, near naked photos especially. Would you want strangers staring over your garden fence looking at your kid naked in a paddling pool? No? Then don’t put it on the internet for anyone to see!

MrsDilber · 04/05/2018 03:01

Don't have Facebook but use insta like a journal. Where I've been, with whom and what we did. Couldn't care less if they're liked or not, only close family and friends are permitted to see it and I love scrolling through, seeing what we did.

Yabu.

LuluMarie · 04/05/2018 03:39

MrsDilber

Your Instagram is private though, so I’m guessing you have approved the people who are sharing in your kids lives. That seems fine to me. It’s the nonprivate ones that have started drawing concerns...

resetEntries · 04/05/2018 05:31

Haha.

Thanks OP. Gave me a real chuckle.

Mypronounsarepinkmacaron · 04/05/2018 05:39

I do post pics on my locked FB of my kids having fun. But I kind of agree with you.

I definitely draw the line at -

Naked pics, even of babies
Pics of kids who are ill or in hospital
Pics of kids sleeping

I have seen FB friends post all of the above and thinks it’s too far. However I am willing to accept that posting anything at all is arguably an invasion of their privacy and hope mine will not feel that way as adults.

SilverBirchTree · 04/05/2018 05:54

I think you’re a bit extreme about it OP. But I agree that parents shouldn’t put their kids on social media.

KERALA1 · 04/05/2018 06:43

The reason posters are getting angry and defensive is because deep down they know op has a point. They are putting their need for showing off above their child's best interests and they know it. The justifications are very weak.

I've done it myself a few times and not proud of it. There's a strong chance your kids will be pissed off with you.

Sleepyblueocean · 04/05/2018 07:01

My child will never be able to consent to having photos of him on social media or anywhere else. Along with any other more major decision in his life it is one that I will always have to make.

RosemaryLemonxx · 04/05/2018 08:48

If you have your privacy settings set up and your only friends with actual friends and family then there shouldn't be a problem

TheHonSaucyJane · 04/05/2018 09:08

How do you think a loss would be proven and quantified, OP?

BPG20 · 04/05/2018 10:08

YABU. It is a parents responsibility to make an informed decision in behalf of their child whilst they are still children. Whether that decision is different from the one you make is none of your business.

And I'm saying this as a person who only has Instagram (no Facebook or Twitter or Snapchat) and the only photos I post of my son do not show his face at all and hebis only referred to by his first initial. He is adopted so this is what I do to protect him online at a young age. Would I have made this decision if he was a birth child? I have no idea. Because my informed decision is based on current circumstances. Everyone's are different.

KingHenrysCodpiece · 04/05/2018 10:09

Parents being proud of their kids isn't a crime you knowConfused.

What has being proud got to with anything? I was proud when DS finally learned to use the potty on his own, should I post him sat bare bottomed on his potty for the world to see then, to demonstrate my 'pride'?

Now he uses the toilet. Post?

spatchcock · 04/05/2018 10:12

"If you have your privacy settings set up and your only friends with actual friends and family then there shouldn't be a problem"

So naive! Grin Google "Cambridge Analytica". Who knows who the next organisation to harvest the data will be, and what form that will actually take.

GoldenMcOldie · 04/05/2018 11:43

@kinghenry your are just being pissy about my point of view.

I did not reference specific activities. I wss thinking more along the lines of first day of school, sporting achievements, graduation (all fully clothed).

Ffs!

GoldenMcOldie · 04/05/2018 11:46

I have been on MN for 16 years (hdnce username). Nothing ever changes.

You have the neurotic and you have the normal.

Some posters make sport out of twisting the most sensible posts. Others have bizarre, disproportionately angry reactions to normal things.

Arghhh!

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 04/05/2018 11:48

Children have absolutely no say or control over what is shared by their parents, or with whom it is shared.

As it should be, they're children.

Until they're old enough to express an opinion they don't get a say I'm afraid!

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 04/05/2018 11:49

MNHQ is deleting posts that say "bless". Personal attack, apparently...

Aaaw, they're getting a bit over excited aren't they!! Must be time for their nap....

Bless

Wink
DougFargo · 04/05/2018 11:50

Some children do, ones who can articulate it. One of my DC says to me "don't put that on FB!" if I take a pic of him, so I don't. Another one says "put that on FB and tag uncle X!" so I do.

GoldenMcOldie · 04/05/2018 11:50

I think I love you @illogical

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