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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed they’ve done this

105 replies

MrsHoodwink · 03/05/2018 12:47

NC so I’m not recognised

Found out today my cousin is going to name their DC (due this year) the same name as my DC2

Thing is this it’s an unusual name, think Phoenix/Asher/Teddy so not a James/Connor/Josh

I understand it’s just a name and everyone has the right to call their DC whatever they want but I’m more than a bit miffed as we’re in the same family Hmm

I know I’ll just have to live with it but AIBU to think he should have avoided using it

OP posts:
mumwhatnothing · 03/05/2018 13:15

My cousin named her DS the same as my DS. We hadn’t seen each other for years and when she found out, she was mortified. I thought it was funny. If my sis had done it, I probably wouldn’t mind but I would think she was weird Grin

Loonoon · 03/05/2018 13:17

People are odd about names. One of our DC has the same middle name as the first name of a child within in our friendship group. At his baptism the child's mother took me aside to reassure me she didn't mind at all that we had taken the name. It was a perfectly ordinary name and I was bewildered that such a thing could even be an issue.

It might be a bond between the two cousins OP, that they share such a special name.

Topseyt · 03/05/2018 13:20

I might be a bit surprised, but I really don't think it would bother me an I wouldn't say anything. Just let it slide.

viques · 03/05/2018 13:20

I bet Big Phoenix will be chuffed to bits to have a Little Phoenix in the family!

BikeRunSki · 03/05/2018 13:22

Do you see your boys. On a day to day basis? Will the children see eCh other all the time? I’ve said this on here before, but I have three sets of brother cousins —all maternal-who have the same pair of names. So three sets of parents with children called x,y; x,y and y, x. Now, my GPs with having three sets of GCs with the same names, i’m sure you’ll be fine. Also, all my nephews have the same middle name (my dad’s name) in different languages.

Tinty · 03/05/2018 13:23

Meh that's nothing. I have a cousin who married someone with a DC he adopted DC and they had another child, they then split up, cousin shares looking after both DC 50/50 very amicable.

Cousin meets someone new, they have a baby and she names it almost exactly the same name as his adopted (first) DC ie: John, and Johnny (not their actual names) Grin.

There is about 6 years between them and our whole family where a bit Confused, but she liked the name and it was her choice.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 03/05/2018 13:23

The dps will look like they have no imagination so more fool them.

RebootYourEngine · 03/05/2018 13:25

I would find this strange. There are so many names surely your cousin could come up with another one for their dc.

Strugglingtodomybest · 03/05/2018 13:26

YABU, it's a compliment really.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2018 13:29

How close are you? I rarely see my cousins and our kids will inky see each other at family events. My bf sees her cousin all the time and their kids will grow up together, see each other tons. It would be less weird in my family than hers

SleepFreeZone · 03/05/2018 13:29

Have you discussed it with your family? I just wonder what they think.

mavismcruet · 03/05/2018 13:29

Just to add the name is so unusual there’s only one in the County

I know this is slightly missing the point of the post but where do you find out this info? I’ve only ever seen name stats for the entire country, not county. Can you point me in the right direction as I love a good stat rummage Smile

I’d be a bit Hmm about the name thing, especially if they are close in age. Yanbu to be miffed.

Whatalovelymug · 03/05/2018 13:29

It’s odd I think. If it were Oliver or Freddie, then fine, but if it’s a very unusual name, why would you. MN will say you don’t own the name, but most people wouldn’t do this.

user1467718508 · 03/05/2018 13:31

Cringe

It's definitely weird - not to mention embarrassing for them!

Just sit comfortably in the knowledge that they're a pair of unimaginative bores Grin

Flowers
Dancingmonkey87 · 03/05/2018 13:31

Yabu my cousin named her ds james my brother is called James no one really battered an eyelid.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 03/05/2018 13:34

Meh, my dd has the same name as my mums cat. Its just a name.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/05/2018 13:37

Presumably thp Zero the cat goes to less family functions, has less shared relatives interested in its welfare, less likely to go to the same school as your daughter etc and cat will likely die in the next decade or so at which point it will brew a moot point

Jenasaurus · 03/05/2018 13:38

My friend has a son called cornellius as does her cousin...it is weird really when there are so many names to choose from

amusedbush · 03/05/2018 13:39

I disagree with the attitude of "nobody owns a name, just get over it" that is prevalent on MN. It's weird to choose the name name as a cousin, especially if it's a very uncommon name.

emmyrose2000 · 03/05/2018 13:40

I have two cousins (not siblings to each other) who each named their daughter the same thing. It's no big deal. I've never heard anyone in the family comment or complain about it.

The first cousin picked the name because she and her DH liked it. The next cousin named his DD after the grandmother we don't have in common.

Jenasaurus · 03/05/2018 13:40

actualy zero we had an alsatian called Karlee and now so is my niece...dog came first..lol

Malbecfan · 03/05/2018 13:41

In my 1st teaching job, I was a y7 form tutor. One of my group told me excitedly that her mum had given birth to a younger brother. The kid in my class was number 2, the baby was number 7. I asked the baby's name. Stephen was the response. "Isn't your older brother Stephen?" I asked. "Yeah miss, but mum wanted to call him after his dad...." All kids brought up in the same house.

I have 6 first cousins and a sister. We were all very close growing up. When DD1 came along, I used our recently deceased mutual grandmother's name as one of DD's middle names, but I asked the others if they minded. None of them did, and the only other cousin to have a daughter also used the name as a middle name. It's a nice way to remember a lovely lady.

RainbowFrog · 03/05/2018 13:41

Isn't there some celeb who named all his (presumably male) children after himself eg. Steven 1, Steven 2, Steven 3, Steven 4 etc. I wouldn't stress too much - it'll always be obvious you got there first anyway.

Xmasbaby11 · 03/05/2018 13:42

Yanbu! But Maybe it's a name that's about to explode with popularity.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 03/05/2018 13:50

I have the same unusual name as a second cousin. I am 12 years older than said cousin. There was a fair bit of discussion at the time - most of the elderly relatives thought it was weird. Dad was a bit miffed with his cousin but not to the point of saying anything. At the time my great-granny was still alive and we had family gatherings at hers occasionally. Since she died in 2008 I haven't seen that side of the family once, and now that my great-aunt has also died I doubt we'll even see the cousins at funerals.

Disclaimer: my side of the family lives about 2 hours from their side, so it's not like we were ever going to be at the same school or bump into each other in the street or anything.