To get annoyed at DH for deleting all his messages/emails/anything constantly?

[TwittleBee]

I've been with DH for nearly 2 years now and his constant wiping of messages/emails etc is so infuriating!

He says now he can’t keep anything on his devices because it makes him “itchy” knowing stuff is sitting there.

But his constant deletions have caused us to lose vital pieces of evidence (can’t go into too much detail as it will “Out” but also isn’t really relevant to the post) or just general important bits of information.

I’ve started asking him to forward me anything important (or thinks might be important) now to offer a solution to him deleting stuff.

Perhaps I am just being a data hoarder but I don’t think I am though as I do delete unimportant stuff too!

Anyway round this or do I just have to be keeper of messages/emails etc for him?

Yes I am very young, I am only mid twenties. Which is why I am on here looking for advice on this situation. Wondered if anyone else had this issue.

We are a team, we work great together apart from this email deletion thing.

I dropped him a text saying we need to talk about it tonight as it is causing my anxiety to flare up thinking about completing on our first house with the thought of him still being in this bad habit. And he has text back saying he has already sorted out an "Important" folder from the last time I pointed out to him he needs to stop deleting everything.

Guess I should have just text him first (but tbf he was asleep) rather than heading straight to MN for advice!

Thanks all though!

Is there anything in the important folder? Will he be filing important texts etc from his mum into this folder?

I thought that too. But whenever I say something like that, a bunch of people come on and say......
I'll play. Living together at 4 months, engaged at 6, married at 18. Only been married 5 years though.

Yes I am very young, I am only mid twenties. you're not very young anymore OP, sorry

I don't see how the timescale in which you got married is anyone's business or relates to this post...

I think getting him to use your email for important stuff or continue to forward it is probably your best option. It's obsessive behaviour so I can't see it being easy for him to give up. You'll need to find that middle ground you're both okay with - that's being team players.

When you know, you know, right SleepingStandingUp ? Never sure why this sort of thing gets up in these posts. All of DH's family members got together real quick and are all still together but on my side majority got together after long drawn out up hill struggle starts and are all bloomin divorced!

And about the age thing, SleepingStandingUp, I think I must be compared to RidingWindHorses though

sosks hahah I know right! And thank you, that is why I am trying to find a solution for us both because we are team players.

@lavendargreen

However, WHY would anyone have 81,000 UNREAD emails?

I just checked my yahoo mail, and I have 7354 unread emails. Not all spam gets sent to the spam folder automatically, and I mostly don't bother deleting it. I get loads of notifications from pinterest that I don't bother opening, ditto twitter, goodreads, notifications that someone has mentioned me on facebook, emails from Amazon to let me know I've bought something or it's on its way...the list is endless.

This whole thing sounds completely weird.

I have folders for old emails, such as one for 'Bills' and one for 'Flights'. Those that I want to keep.

Why couldn't he do the same, if he does not like unread/unopened emails (which I agree with)?

Ok so if he had set up an important folder then that's a good start. Next step is to subdivide them eg bills, holidays, receipts
I can understand not wanting to have a cluttered inbox but to have to have every folder deleted is a bit weird, tbh.

If it helps, after gdpr comes into force later this month I think we'll all be sent a heck of a lot less crap.

Something else he could do is to configure his email client so that it leaves messages on the server and does not delete them when they are deleted locally. That way he can happily delete everything in his inbox, but if it is needed, it can be retrieved from the server.

Another solution could be to set up another account and configure his mail account on the server to automatically forward all mail (or a filtered set) to that account.

Print out important texts or e-mails. Sorted.

Wow, so weird but I'm the complete opposite, I have 16,000 unread emails... I'm no joking. Sixteen thousand!

And constantly have notifications on my messages, like when I see them and don't open so it says 9 messages or whatever.

My friend is quite high powered & did a lot of business training & was taught to delete all messages & emails once dealt with. It’s more effort to delete texts etc than to store. When I say this she just says there’s no need to keep as it’s dealt with & keeps her organised! I aspire to this!