To think that my parent secretly enjoy this?

[malificent7]

My dad and his misses are having a lovely retirement which they deserve but they seem to enjoy my work struggles / struggle to find a sitter etc...
When i asked them to sit on the day of the week when they do salsa as a one off ...i got the reply that they never went out when i was a child.

OK...Im being unreasonable to ask but i sense it is tit for tat

Oh stargirl I get emotional at things like that too. I had some difficulties with mine when they were young and I live in an area where most people have family nearby to help. It's hard to see how different life would be with nice family!

YANBU it is really tough when your parents make clear how much they resented parenting you. It is incredibly difficult not to take it personally. My parents even refused to look after 1 child for a few hours when the younger child was taken in to hospital. Fortunately friends and paid babysitters helped fill the gap.

Yes...it's the resentment imo.

Thanks @ScaredPAD

I was taken aback at the strength of my emotional reaction to what was a simple anecdote between friends. I still feel teary thinking about it and it was months ago.

stargirl and scaredpad with you all the way

the first thing I am doing with my DC is being demonstrative, telling them I love them, lots of cuddles and all that

whether I will go round and mow their lawns when they're big, only time will tell! having had no-one "look after" me, i am quite idependent and realistically not very automatic at "looking after" others -

DH will though (his family are normal!).

I can't imagine my parents doing anything like that to help. I'm always gobsmacked when others parents do it. Like, your parents came round, and helped with some practical stuff? How does that work then?!

The worst thing for me is they do loads for my brother so it is obviously personal. And noticed by at least one other family member who brought it up with me a few years ago, and suddenly everything made sense - there was something not quite right!

OP - I don't think it's reasonable to ask them to cancel their salsa so you can have a last minute night out, sorry.

I do think it's reasonable to be upset at "we suffered and so now you must" stuff as that's just mean.