So, this year will have been a decade that I have lived with the in-law's. To be honest so much has happened in those 10 years, I married their first son, we have 2 children and another arrival imminent (well next week) and giving myself some credit, I do believe I deserve some recognition for keeping my sanity over the last decade!
I would be lying to say that I didn't appreciate my mother in law at times, yes live in baby-sitters has been nice although rarely to I abuse this as the aggro involved just isn't worth it. In fact I can count on one hand she has had the children over night in the last 8 years!! It is usually to look after them whilst I go shopping and they are ill or don't want to go or if I am working a late shift until my husband is home! Occasionally she may hang my washing out, but I mean as much as I am grateful the other things she does really do p me off.
So, this weekend (now it may be my pregancy hormones 38 weeks and counting..) I have exploded in rage. Never before has this happened as I usually just plod on and keep the peace. This time however, I do not know what happened!!
I feel myself rambling but any advice/support/anything grateful!
So my husband's brother and his fiancee are getting married this summer, both sets of parents have donated large sums of money for this (we didn't ask or expect anything when we got married), needless to say my future sister in law accepted and the expenses have gone up and up. Now it began with- "would you mind paying for your husband's suit as we can't afford to pay for everyone's"-Ok I accepted this, this has since become "Oh and the matching shoes so everyone looks the same, and can you pay for your son's too so he matches". I declined the later as feel a 3 year old shouldn't have to hire a suit for £120! My husband's will cost a grand total of £160 to hire!! On top of this we have to shell out 2 night accomodation at a cost of £200 because they are having the wedding so far away. Now the straw that broke the camel's back this weekend was when I was asked if my daughter would be a flowergirl, "no problem" was my response. "So she has to be measured for a bespoke handmade flowergirl dress to match the other flowergirl, I need an deposit of £100 for the dress this weekend and you can pay the other £100 when you collect the dress!". Sorry to say I snapped. I politely said I couldn't afford it. No problem she said.
Now the next thing I know, she is crying on the phone to my M-I-L, apparently I had ruined her day because the flower girls won't match. I am being totally unreasonable etc!
Now please, surely this wedding is about the bride and groom! Given the vast sums of money they have been given surely the suits and dresses should come under the budget if that is what they are requesting the people wear!?!?! - Please someone tell me I am wrong???
So, my M-I-L is siding with her new soon-to-be daughter in law, both have accused me of being totally selfish and unreasonable. Apparently this wedding isn't about me, I totally accept that and nor do I want it to be about me, in fact I don't even want to be going!!! But why should I be bullied and made to feel like s over a flowergirl dress that I can't even afford just to please her! I mean I am 38 weeks pregannt, hormones are raging and it seems to me it is m vx Bridezilla!
So now the atmosphere at the in-law's is horrific, no one will speak to me, my husband is furious as I have upset his precious mother and he doesn't see the problem in just paying for it (I think his mother may have influenced him somewhat!!!) just to keep the peace. So I have been relgated to sleeping on the sofa.
Not really sure where to go from here to be honest but any feedback, advice gratefully received!!!!
Sorry feel like I have rambled!!