#AD

[MintyT]

I don't know about you, but since the instamums posts I have really noticed the #AD on posts, and to be honest I had no idea I was so gullible. I loved the threads regards instamums and really think MN made a small change, well done us

Mean comments about people's looks and kids were justifiably called out and deleted on those threads.

The one about mod not being a proper author.

@MadameGrizzly thanks for that - that is really interesting. And means I now completely understand bloggers that make you link through to see the item they are mentioning - I always assumed they didn't want to clutter up their piece with too many pictures, but the more cynical me now understands exactly why they are doing it!

As others have said on the other threads - I have no particular issue with an influencer getting a commission if they have written about a piece and I've gone on to buy that piece. Being charitable, I don't even mind if they have introduced me to a brand and I go on and buy something from that brand - fair dos. BUT I do object to paying them commission when I am browsing, say, the Topshop website two weeks later entirely independently.

I'm not cherry picking posts, I'm responding to posts or replying to things/interesting points.
My bad, forgot you're not supposed to do too much of that on here, will try to get back into the posting style and acceptable comment level (got a my bad in there, that''s a start.)
Off to IG to see what dress MOD is wearing or whether FOD has had a parenting "mishap" and will report back hopefully with the right tone and the appropriate level of gushing/hating

I concede my comment was poorly worded. I should have posted 'a true author would deal with valid criticism professionally, I think?'

Because I'm certain a professional wouldn't beg for reviews on Instagram stories, then defensively screenshot and critique the feedback they didn't like. All to an audience of 485 000 followers.

I wasn't trying to 'push MOD down a bit'. I was commenting on her unprofessional behaviour. That doesn't constitute bullying.

I didn't ever say 'bullying', and I originally said that that label shouldn't be passed around lightly, IGers tend to do that, and sometimes it's not appropriate.

I used the word 'dckhead'. So, maybe NB should have instead said, #dearmumsnet, lets do better and stop people from acting like dckheads to other people.'

And yes, let's be frank here, MN has a reputation lately that it's a bit of a nasty environment sometimes. And that's a shame that AIBU, which should be constructive, makes people feel like sh*t. How about changing that, without getting on a high horse and moaning that you don't have freedom of speech?

I don't see how expressing that opinion was being a dickhead any more than it was bullying.

My comment wasn't bullying or behaving like a dickhead either. I do however find this extraordinary unprofessional.

Marvelle - I've only started to take a dickish tone,as you say, because that's the way it seems to be on here.
Post rationally, engage, you're cherry picking or whatever. So only matching the waving, hunning, hating, tone as that seems to be the tone you're supposed to take,
Or is that only meant if it's about them, and not you?
Anyway, I'm off me to look at some dresses. Or maybe some sunshiny posts of nice beach scenery.
Better not be too many that's better than my view though as it's too bloody aspirational otherwise, they should be thinking of me before posting and rubbing my nose in it.

Although, I will say this: to shame someone for criticising you on social media, that's not cool, and that's never cool. If someone sends me hateful messages, if I feel like griping about them I will, but I'll cross out their name and picture. So, we agree there. But, she's allowed to gripe and complain and get defensive.

I certainly gripe about work, but I'd be pulled over the coals if I did it in the public domain!

I really feel the need to point out to the Instagram campaigners that the antonym for kindness isn't bullying.

Rudeness, maybe? But rudeness isn't bullying, either. Bullying has quite specific criteria, the crucial one being a power imbalance, and I can't work out how there could possibly be a power imbalance between influencers and MN users.

Are you an instamum then fence?

There's a fine line between criticism and personal pulling apart though.
There's saying it like it is AIBU style if someone asks an opinion, and, then there's digging at a person personally.

That's the crux of the issue, the influencers believe they do hold the power because for such a long time they have been allowed to get away with whatever they want - blagging, embellishing, concealing etc etc and they don't like it when MN users exert their right to talk about those issues (and whatever else they want to). It's all about control. They can control Insta because they can block people and delete comments as they wish. They can't bear the fact that they can't control MN users or what they say.

There's a fine line between criticism and personal pulling apart though.
There's saying it like it is AIBU style if someone asks an opinion, and, then there's digging at a person personally

This.

There's a fine line between criticism and personal pulling apart though

I agree, but any posts I've seen "pulling apart" have been deleted.

"I agree, but any posts I've seen "pulling apart" have been deleted."

Same. Which is why to say MN is an unmoderated cesspit of hate is a load of bollocks.