#AD

[MintyT]

I don't know about you, but since the instamums posts I have really noticed the #AD on posts, and to be honest I had no idea I was so gullible. I loved the threads regards instamums and really think MN made a small change, well done us

Sorry that is aimed at the posters questioning why we are talking about bloody 'Instamums' again.

Without wanting it to sound even more like the school playground. They started it

I have just watched NBs stories and I have to say..... I have no idea what she is on about. Why is she being so vague?

What happened with Holly Willoughby anyway, I missed that thread?

Meh, I suppose NB started this so she has to run with it for a while now.

Jackiebrambles - if some do indeed read these threads I can't imagine why they'd think the site was full of bitching.
These threads are so rational, after all

Actually Cady there is a lot of rationality on these threads! Loads of it.

On previous threads there was some horrible stuff posted but Mumsnet took it down. This thread has been ok I think??

Yes some people might question the integrity of the instamums. But as a posted pointed out yesterday (wish I could name check as it was a really good post), that is because they are a business now. A business with a personal 'face' of course, but still a business. And the integrity and business practices are open for questioning.

It's not bullying. Making personal comments about a person would be - ie how they look etc. I think you'll struggle to find anyone on MUmsnet who would say that is ok.

A lot of the 'Mumsnet is a nest of vipers' bullshit is just plain old sexism anyway, on 2 levels.

1. Lots of people have never even been on here but assume that its just bitchy shrieking harridans, because obviously that's what you get when women get together to discuss anything.

2. People have this idea that women must be 'nice' all the time. They should never say a bad word about anything or anyone because the place of woman in the world is 'caring people pleaser'. They are not supposed to voice their actual opinion on stuff because that's not 'kind'.

Men are never held to this sort of standard. Men can say whatever the fuck they want to say.

Actually Cady there is a lot of rationality on these threads! Loads of it.

To be fair, there actually is a handful of rational posters. (is sofia still about?) It only goes awry if you start to engage with the rational ones.
Then the not so rational ones start to throw their toys out of the pram lol.

YY ... plus I’ve never heard a man say that dads are all in it together, or all dads should have to (blindly) support all other dads in all they do because they are all DAD, the brotherhood yada yada

I think it is really important to talk about it. There are comments on instagram saying I've nevet been on munsnet but I know it is full of transphobia. Heresay and total bollocks. All of these comments are being allowed to stand - not only are they incorrect, I'm sure they don't meet the Instagram standard definition of "kind". The hypocracy is breathtaking. Threads have been started about the ads etc on netmums. Mumsnet users are not the only group to have picked up on this. Maybe a period of reflection by NB et al is in order rather than instructing MN to control their posters and reveal their identities if they disobey - how empowering and supportive of women. Honestly, North Korea could learn a few lessons on mind control from some of these instagrammers

Or #yougothisdada

@allaboardtheallergybus I clearly stated that was some time ago and none of those brands listed were recent, they were from that period. If you wish to bang on about obsession, then you carry on. The reality is she just posted a post to get attention and get people talking about what a victim she was. None of the other large accounts have joined in or supported it, which is why discussion was focussed around her. It's a large business, generates a lot of sponsorship and playing the poor little me card provoked reaction.
I can't go into midwifery (not based on Instagram) but an unexpected health issue which has changed things. Your constantly undermining comments are off the mark, thankfully I've made a recovery from my vulnerability which was 2 years ago. I deleted Facebook for privacy reasons related to our sudden loss and whilst I do have Instagram and commented about some stories (with others) I fail to see that as being 'very much active' I follow very few of the mums covered in the earlier threads and engage with people I either know or have now been in contact with for years. I could say that you seem heavily invested in policing strangers on Internet forums, it's really no different.

@cadyheron... tumbleweeds.

lol

It also does nothing for the reputation of 'women' in the workplace. The reputation that we can't take criticism without getting upset, that we can't robustly debate an idea without accusations of bullying, that we are 'too emotional' for certain roles.

This is why I love Mother Pukka so. First, her flexible working campaign is for all parents, not just mothers, although obviously with mothers usually being the prime carer they are usually more affected. But there is a definite emphasis on 'parents' rather than 'Mums'.

And secondly, she always takes criticism on board but also staunchly defend herself and her ideas when she feels she needs to as well. And will admit to mistakes.

I luffs her.

See, I think now you're being a bit hyperbolic, gazelle and phalange.

The face of Motherhood and women in general, especially in the last year or so, has changed, for the better. Women are encouraged to speak out more, speak their minds, have an opinion, DO something to incite change.

But. There's "having an opinion", and then there's being a d*ck about someone under the cloak of 'it's my opinion, and they can deal with it because they're public personas'. No. That's not how to be, and I'm assuming all of us wouldn't teach our kids that way either.

Discussion and diagreement and constructive criticism is one thing, but closeted fangirls watching 'car crashes', and obsessively following IG stories on here (not saying all of you are like this, but a lot of you are) is counterproductive, I would think.

I'm not MP by the way! 😂

The face of Motherhood and women in general, especially in the last year or so, has changed, for the better. Women are encouraged to speak out more, speak their minds, have an opinion, DO something to incite change.

Encouraged by who? (whom?!)

Um. Do you need one specific person to encourage women to speak up more? Sorry, that doesn't make sense. Do you need a famous person to start a movement, is that what you're waiting for?

How many women have gone on marches for their rights, in recent memory? How many women have started speaking up about harassment, and being loudmouths about what they want? There's more of a dialogue about women owning their voices and bodies than there ever has been. The world isn't perfect and there's a lot of work to do still on this, but have you been reading anything in the news at all, or is social media the only way people can understand anything nowadays? Come on now.

Mothers are encouraged so much more now to parent the best way they know how, not to be 'nice' and 'congenial', its not the 1950s. And you don't have to agree with choices and its good to speak up, but also, hello, women get to make their own choices about how to provide for their families and their kids, especially in this day and age where so much money is being made off of social media platforms.

Again, this thread was originally about the AD, was it not? And I said, yes, I agree with full transparency, but jesus christ, it's partly up to us to step away from it if it makes us feel 1)envious 2)insecure or if we don't want to buy the effing product.

And, I still say, let them parent their own kids. We should worry about our own, and teach them how to handle social media. We wouldn't expect others to parent our own kids, would we? No.

Women are encouraged to speak out more, speak their minds, have an opinion, DO something to incite change.

But only as long as that involves being "kind" to certain instagram businesses owners and not querying any of their non-compliance with advertising standards that apply to them? Or debating any changes to the law regarding gender ID? Wow - this is all so confusing that I kind of feel that women can't actually speak their mind at all. No change there

timetogetanewfence

Wow. I'm totally shocked at your last post. You think women have only just started speaking up for themselves? You think women have only just started marching for their rights?

How do you think we have come to have the rights we currently have in this country? The right to vote, the right to a safe abortion, the right to maternity leave, the right to not be raped by our husbands? Things that we totally take for granted now?

Your post is totally insulting to the women over the last few decades (and before) who have worked tirelessly to 'speak up for women'.

That still doesn't change the fact that, as you say, there is a lot of work still to be done. Women are slowly being listened to. But that is the result of decades of hard graft by feminists (who have, and continue to get, a tonne of shit slung at them from all sides) not just 'in the last year'.

As an aside NB has 20k+ followers, yet only gets a couple of hundred likes per post. This is mighty strange and usually only happens on pages where they have bought their followers 🤔. Not saying this is the case with NB of course but maybe most of her followers don't actually agree with what she's posting?! Odd.

I don't feel envious or insecure, or "ragey" in any way. I feel irritated when people try to tell me what I am and when I am not allowed to discuss on the internet (and that equally applies to mumsnet HQ saying a topic is exhausted as it does Instamums starting a campaign about mumsnet). The campaign is about control and the Instamums being enraged that they can't control people pointing out the flaws in what they do.

phalange, calm yourself, please. I didn't suggest that, so stop spoiling for a fight. I'm saying that it's way more in the mainstream now, in a lot of ways, than it ever was, but that we still have work to do, yes. Read it again. And then have some coffee.

@Gobbolinothewitchscat there are IGers that don't deal well with criticism, no matter how many followers they have, yes, I agree. But that's life, and not everyone likes or takes criticism well. But being pissed off that someone blocked you or is being fake? Meh. If you tried to challenge them and it didn't work? That means it's not you, it's them. Find someone else.

As far as the whole DearMumsNet thing, NB is trying to point out that there is a specific section of MN that isn't great, but it's the same with Babycentre too. Every place has its dark side, so if it's a "small part" of MN, why not regulate it a bit more? What's the harm in that?

If you're not part of the problem, and you're not the one that's ragey, then why take issue? If so many of you watch her IG stories, haven't you heard her say "so much of MN has helped people and that's great, but there's a part of it that's nasty and that's affected people in a bad way, and that gives MN a bad name, so why not fix it?"

If you ask lots of people, MN is very divisive. Some say "oh, I love it", and some say "oh, jesus, bunch of witches on there". So, rebrand it. Weed out the d*ckheads.