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AIBU?

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Original poster

I didn't like a 'tell-tale' when I was younger and I still don't

281 replies

LittleMonkeysWideAwake · 30/04/2018 09:08

Those kids that tell on the teacher all the time, or tell you off in a high and mighty way. I didn't like them as a kid, and I don't like them as adults now!

This morning another parent at sons school told me off for my inappropriate parking. I was of course in the wrong! And said so, and apologised. But I'm fuming inside!!! I can't stand busy- bodies who go out of their way to tell me off!

Grrrrrr

Just a rant!

Are you one of those parents? (and we're you one of those kids?) and why do you do it?

OP posts:
MrsPreston11 · 30/04/2018 11:04

I'd tell on you. Kids are nearly hit at my girls' school due to people parking like dicks.

And my kids will tell on yours if they do something wrong as mine actually behave. Trust me, I'd rather have "goody two shoes" kids than little shits.

elaine26 · 30/04/2018 11:06

My SIL called my DS a snitch for telling her when her DS hurt him. I have taught him to tell the teacher or me if someone does something wrong. Then her ds slapped my boy on the back in front of her and his punishment was homework all day!

HotSauceCommittee · 30/04/2018 11:08

and said parent walked from quite some distance away just to tell me what I already knew (that I shouldn't have parked where I did!)

I’m not going to comment on your “wrongdoing”, OP (plenty of othe have Wink) but she sounds like a pain. If you’d have told her to fuck off, I guarantee she’ll never speak to you again.
I have had a word with a bloke who was impatient in a car park with a very elderly woman trying to park. I explained politely that by beeping his horn he was only going to frighten her/get her more flustered and then she’d take even longer to park. He ended up agreeing with me and looking back, I felt lucky not to get a punch.

fascinated · 30/04/2018 11:12

I don’t understand people who are so arrogant as to think the rules don’t apply to them. Rules are there for a reason. They are part of the social contract. Society as we know it is only a pleasant place (and believe me we are lucky to live in such a peaceful, law-abiding country as the UK) because the majority of people do follow the rules the majority of the time. That social contract is policed by authority but also by the FEAR of authority ie the fear of being called out or told on. If enough people start breaking the rules because they stop fearing being caught then the delicate balance of peaceful equilibrium - the social contract - begins to break down. Over time things degenerate. Minor infractions give way to bigger ones and standards slip. There is research that proves this. That’s why I am happy to call out or tell tales as needed. I’m not doing it just to piss you off. I’m just trying to keep things in order.

Finderscrispy · 30/04/2018 11:24

It’s bothered you because you know that you shouldn’t have parked there and some bloke came over and reprimanded you like you where a 5 year old. His disapproval has made you feel like naughty child and that’s why it’s triggering you. Are you a bit of a people pleaser in real life ?
You shouldn’t have parked there and he is well within his rights to challenge, as an aside would be interested to know if he approached male parking violators in the same way, but there are ways to put your point across without leaving people feeling like they are getting a telling off.

Dancergirl · 30/04/2018 11:28

Totally agree fascinated

In fact I find it a bit pathetic if people DON'T speak up to wrong-doers.

toomuchtooold · 30/04/2018 11:41

I think it's a fair cop if it was another parent tbh and you were actually illegally parked. But there seems to be a breed of older bloke who live to give women with children and a car marks out of ten for parking, and I believe that these people deserve to be handed their arses in a paper bag as often as possible. Sorry OP, derailing, but you've triggered me - I'm remembering the time I took my 6mo twins to a Tesco which had about 20 cars in the car park of which 10 occupying the P&C spaces, so I parked across two normal spaces so as to be able to get the double trolley in next to both doors (and to guarantee that I would have space on the way back out, in case anyone did that weird thing of parking next to me in a near empty car park. Now, if a Tesco employee had told me to move the car, I would of course have done it (might have given them a baby to hold in the meantime) but it was the man who remarked under his breath but loud enough for me to hear that "they get these big cars, and then they can't drive them" that prompted me to quickly load the kids into the trolley and explain to him, loudly, while following his rapidly retreating form into the shop, why it was that I'd chosen to park that way. And I do wonder about your guy as well OP. Fair dos you were illegally parked, but I wonder if he'd have approached a bloke with no kids. I think we are fair game, they think, because we have small kids and are therefore nice, and gentle. I hope at least that Tesco guy realised that day that while I am nice to my kids, I'm not anybody else's fucking mum.

mamahanji · 30/04/2018 11:43

I hate 'don't tell tales'. How about park properly?

My 'friend' tells our 3 year olds not to tell tales. Erm no dear, discipline your child and teach her that hitting, biting, throwing, kicking, and generally being a little shit has consequences.

Don't do stuff wrong if you don't want it pointed out to you.

Minnie13 · 30/04/2018 12:43

So you want to do what you want, when you want and everyone should turn a blind eye? Interesting outlook on life. Maybe you'd be better off living on an island?

aaarrrggghhhh · 30/04/2018 12:46

You're having the emotional response of a primary school infant that is why it is reminding you of that feeling.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 30/04/2018 12:49

I hear you OP. It’s bullying. Massive aggressive men don’t get this much Grin

I got told off for a driving violation a few weeks ago. I was fuming all day. It wasn’t his place to police such things. Twat

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 30/04/2018 12:50

Oh and as this thread shows- there are a huge amount of these types of people on Mumsnet!

SoupDragon · 30/04/2018 12:51

It’s bullying.

It really isn’t.

FrancisCrawford · 30/04/2018 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet · 30/04/2018 12:57

It's only a tell-tale if they went and reported you to the school or something, surely? Not if they tell you as the person committing the 'offence'?

BTW I find inconsiderate school parking beyond the pale; we're ALL trying to rush off to work/drop another child/home/whatever other commitment so prioritising your own needs above others is pretty poor form.

BarbarianMum · 30/04/2018 12:57

Massively agressive men are not challenged as much about stuff like this because they use physical intimidation to get their way. That makes them the bullies, not the person doing the challenging.

Breaking the rules is entitled enough, expecting everybody else to pretend they haven't noticed and don't mind is taking it to another level.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 30/04/2018 12:58

How do you know soup dragon? It very much depends on the form doesn’t it?

“Calling out” a total stranger WHEN YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY WHATSOEVER TO DO SO- why? Because it makes the caller- outer feel good. Because they think they’re able to enforce rules they have no authority to. Arrogance.

Mind you, these are the people who could live amazingly well in a dictatorship.

Scuzzlet · 30/04/2018 13:01

Yanbu. I fucking hate these types of busy bodies. Don’t tell me off I’m an adult now fuck off

BarbarianMum · 30/04/2018 13:01

"Calling out" isnt about enforcing rules though is it? This guy couldnt make the OP move her car, he just pointed out she was in the wrong. And maybe he was on a power trip but most likely he was just completely fed up of the OP and others like her making life more difficult for him/his family/neighbours.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 30/04/2018 13:02

He’s trying to enforce the rule that the car wasn’t supposed to be there. That’s exactly what he was doing.

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 30/04/2018 13:05

Ah! So you were the kid at school doing as you please then when I'm 'the tell tale' you bully me more. I always tell my children to tell a teacher. Play by the rules if you dont like it!

Mightymucks · 30/04/2018 13:06

I will and have called out 6 foot 5 brick shithouses. They can’t really do anything, they’d look a bit of a tit trying to fight with a pregnant midget.

SomeoneAteMyStrudel · 30/04/2018 13:07

Yes and too bloody right. Places like Germany have it right. If you don't keep the environment tidy, adhere to the rules (crossing the road!), etc then your neighbours will pull you up on it. It's not 'picking on you', it's reminding you that you have a responsibility to make your community a nice place for everyone to live and that means not being entitled, lazy, and thinking the rules don't apply to you.

If everyone just parked properly, picked up their litter, didn't spit in the street, queued politely etc then everyone would have a much nicer life. While it is socially acceptable to behave badly people still will, because it makes their life easier and they get what they want more often.

Furano · 30/04/2018 13:08

said parent walked from quite some distance away just to tell me what I already knew (that I shouldn't have parked where I did!)

Why did you do it then? Cos you think your are better than everyone else? Sounds like a twatty thing to do...

Furano · 30/04/2018 13:10

I got told off for a driving violation a few weeks ago. I was fuming all day. It wasn’t his place to police such things. Twat

Either you care that you drive like a twat, or you don't.

If you think you were in the right just say "yeah yeah yeah, fuck off" to whoever is trying to 'tell you off' and don't give it a second thought.

If you know you are in the wrong and don't like being 'naughty' then stop breaking rules.