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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be silently sobbing in bed so as not to wake DS

105 replies

queenbiy · 29/04/2018 22:41

I've just posted a thread RE postnatal depression and around 6 minutes later received no replies, totally normal as it's half ten on a Sunday but for some reason this has just set me right off and it's like a switch that can't be turned off. I'm sobbing. The tiniest thing sets me off and I feel weak. I'm trying not to wake DS but the thought of getting up in the morning and parenting is making the sob fest ten times worse. I honestly feel like I cannot even function, let alone take care of a whole other life. All over a bloody mumsnet thread. I know IABU but please, talk some sense into me...

OP posts:
bettydraper31 · 29/04/2018 22:44

I am here. I have read your post. I care, and so do others. Have you spoken to your GP/family?

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/04/2018 22:44

Flowers sending you a gentle hug OP. No advice to offer you at all, sorry. But hang on in there and someone will be along to give you something more useful.

specialsubject · 29/04/2018 22:44

bump...others with knowledge will be along but just to wish you the best and the help you need.

furryelephant · 29/04/2018 22:44

Depression does some awful, awful things to any rational thoughts you have left so don't feel bad for sobbing! Sometimes a good cry can help even the tiniest bit. How old is DS? Have you seen your GP? Thanks

Spudlet · 29/04/2018 22:45

Oh love. How old is your dc?

Honestly, this could have been me a couple of years ago, but it gets better, it does. I remember people telling me that, and sitting in a darkened nursery trying to coax ds to sleep for what felt like hoirs and thinking it was all lies and it would never ever get easier! But i was wrong, it does.

Do you have any rl help and support, anyone to talk to about how you're feeling?

sirlee66 · 29/04/2018 22:45

OP, I totally relate to how you're feeling in regards to dreading the next day's parenting.

No advice, just wanted to let you know: you are not alone in how you feel.

FrogCow · 29/04/2018 22:46

PND sucks massive arse. It’s shit. I know we’re strangers, but I’ve been there. Right we’re you are. I hope you’ve spoken out and got some real life support, my GP has been invaluable to me x

Fruitcorner123 · 29/04/2018 22:48

I am with you too. This was me before christmas. What age is your DS? Who do you have in real life supporting you?

LavenderDoll · 29/04/2018 22:48

I care OP
PND is awful really awful
I used to dread waking up.
Do you have a support network

FlyingwithBaby · 29/04/2018 22:49

Oh you poor thing. You are not alone. This extremely difficult time will pass. Please seek out support in real life too. Having a baby can be so extremely difficult and you are doing a wonderful job.
Take care of yourself, you are your mini human’s whole world 💙

Snowysky20009 · 29/04/2018 22:49

I've not suffered post natal depression (luckily), however I do have bipolar, so know all too well about depression. The smallest thing used to set me off- e.g. Not having a soft drink in the house when I wanted one. Totally senseless but at the time was soul destroying to me. So please don't think you are being stupid for crying over not receiving a reply.
A good cry I used to find sometimes helped me. Getting it out of the system. Big hug to you X

Original poster
queenbiy · 29/04/2018 22:49

Thank you so much everyone. It's nice to know I'm not the only one but for some reason I'm crying more. DS is 7 months I went to the GP when he was newborn and they weren't the most helpful. I started to feel a bit better for a while so didn't keep calling every month to go on the counselling list but I'm regretting that right about now. Thanks again everyone it means a lot to feel like I'm not alone Flowers

OP posts:
thalia2018 · 29/04/2018 22:50

No advice but Flowers parenting is really hard, getting up every day to do the same thing. You are doing an amazing job being a parent, please believe that.

The4teddybears · 29/04/2018 22:51

Please Don't be sad . Being a mom can be overwhelming at first. I'm assuming you're in the early days/months of parenting. It does get better , honestly . Mine are all grown up now and looking back at the early days I can now see I had post natal depression . Although happily married I ached with loneliness and wanted some time for me. Mother and baby groups kept me sane because I had others to talk to . Do you go to anything like that. . ?

Aridane · 29/04/2018 22:51

Go,back to the GP. It will get better

ahalfchipshalfricemum · 29/04/2018 22:51

It's so hard coping after having a new baby, the smallest things can cause you to become irrational. Honestly it will get easier, but you do need to talk to someone. Get to see your GP tomorrow. Speaking from experience, it's the best thing to do Flowers

MilesHuntsWig · 29/04/2018 22:52

I care. It’s tough. Really, really tough and you will get through it - but you need to ask for some help.

Please be kind to yourself and your DS by getting someone to support you (friends/family if possible and GP).

I was where you are, and today I was cackling away with my wonderful 6yo. It gets better and you can do it. Nothing wrong with having a cry- do what you need to in order to get by.

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 29/04/2018 22:52

I’ve been there too, crying to myself in the dark. It’s utter shit but it does get better, I promise. One day at a time.

You need to ask for help and take what they offer. You can beat this but in my experience, you can’t do it alone.

Fruitcorner123 · 29/04/2018 22:53

queenbiy my DD is 7 months too. In October/november I felt dreadful but i was lucky that my GP was far more supportive. Please go back and ask to see a different doctor? Is there one you know from experience to be more sympathetic? I am on meds now and awaiting CBT but I really truly feel like a different person. I still have bad days but more good days than bad.

One of the main things for me was having people to talk to. Are you still with the baby's dad? I talked to my mum a lot but have chosen to be really open with friends and it's amazing how many have had similar experiences.

MilesHuntsWig · 29/04/2018 22:54

Just read your update. Go back to the (a different?) GP and get a referral. Can you get a health visitor on side? Some are more aware than others.

I’ve suffered with depression of various forms for over 20 years and some GPs were amazing and some were utterly useless.

Spudlet · 29/04/2018 22:55

Ok, I just found your other thread in which you say ds is 7 months old. That age is hard. You probably haven't had a full night's sleep in months, they get frustrated because they want to be more capable and mobile than they are, there are sleep regressions, leaps, you feel like this has been your life forever and to top it all off, the weather is shite so you can't just go for a walk without putting on all your polar gear. I remember that time! It was tough.

You are not alone, and there is support out there. Your hv or GP can help you. And honestly honestly, truly, it improves. They get mobile, they can do more, they therefore grizzle less. They cut teeth which is crap at the time but every tooth cut is one less teething session to deal with. They just get more interesting - in all honesty, I found the baby stage pretty bloody boring. But it does end.

Hang in there, keep posting, and talk to people in real life too. You are not alone. You can do this. Flowers

ToothyMcPuthy · 29/04/2018 22:55

Caring for a small baby can be difficult OP. You aren’t alone in how you feel.
Do you have some RL support? Do you have a partner?
Please think about seeing a GP again tomorrow Flowers

BlackBat · 29/04/2018 22:55
Flowers
kazillionaire · 29/04/2018 22:57

Please go back to your GP or ring your health visitor, PND can be really awful xx It is a very misunderstood illness but it is indeed an illness and it does need treating, I will be thinking of you xx

Absolutelynothing · 29/04/2018 22:59

Pnd is just horrible... but it will pass, that I can absolutely promise you.

Do try your gp again, or see a different one. The right support and meds can honestly make such a difference.

I've been there twice and it was an awful time, but things did get better.

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