Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her I like her? (I’m straight)

108 replies

Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 14:24

So I’m in my 30s and always had relationships with men,never found a woman attractive.
A year or so I was introduced to a woman through a mutual friend.
I started to enjoy being around her,loved when my friend said she was joining us on a night out.
I think we flirted.
Anyway I think I like her,what do I do?
Say anything?
She knows I’m straight but I kind of like her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 15:47

Exactly il just go with the flow a bit

OP posts:
LanguidLobster · 29/04/2018 15:47

A close friend who's gay could sniff out a woman who just wanted attention/flirtation faster than a ferret. She always says she wants someone who knows what they're doing, sexually.

I doubt the other woman would get hurt as she probably knows this too, but it sounds like a crush.

BamBamIsALittleShit · 29/04/2018 15:49

I do think there are lots of confused people in this world - some minutely, some massively. It can sometimes take years for someone to realise their sexuality. Some don't realise until their kids have grown up and left home. Sexuality doesn't have to be straight, gay, bisexual - anyone can be attracted to anyone without labelling themselves for life.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 29/04/2018 15:53

I think there's a clear difference between being excited to meet up with someone, enjoying their company, even admiring how they look, and sexual attraction.

OP how can you not know whether you're physically attracted to her or not? After a year? I can't quite understand it. Unless you've got some hang ups about being gay and mentally block it out or something?

Surely if you don't want physical contact, don't fantasise about women etc you're not at all gay.

Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 15:54

She’s a friend of a friend ...in a year we’ve only seen each other 7 times.

OP posts:
Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 15:54

I’ve thought about kissing but not sleeping together.

OP posts:
GirlsBlouse17 · 29/04/2018 15:56

Do you feel anything like a tingling of electricity if your hands accidentally touch or if you feel her close to you?

Blackbirdblue30 · 29/04/2018 15:56

You're a spaghetti girl. Straight until wet 😂
Just let it pass rather than mess her about.

Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 15:58

I get butterfly’s yes.
Smile when we talk etc
I know it sounds stupid but just stupid little things

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 29/04/2018 15:58

Oh right. Maybe it would be a good idea to invite her out, meet up more and get to know each other better before getting down on one knee to say "I really really like you" Awkward Wink

velourvoyageur · 29/04/2018 16:03

I have no prob with Aja's posts & they don't sound bitter to me.

Wasn't offended, doesn't personally resonate, but it's hardly a new complaint in the gay community.

Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 16:06

Yeah I deffo wouldn’t do that Grin

OP posts:
BettyBettyBetty · 29/04/2018 16:06

You're into her. Go with it.

(I was the same and ended up marrying my woman! No regrets!!)

Ticketsfrom · 29/04/2018 16:08

I'm gay. If you fancy her, and you think it's mutual just ask her out for a drink. Tell her you like her. It really is that easy.
Sexuality for many people is a very fluid thing, you can find a woman sexually attractive even if you've previously slept with men. She might be into you. She might run a mile ( 'straight' girls can be hard work, no offence!) she mightn't want to be responsible for being your first same sex experience. or she might really like you too and who knows where that could go...

veggiethrower · 29/04/2018 16:13

You've thought about kissing her. How does that make you feel?
Do you get turned on at the thought?

Ticketsfrom · 29/04/2018 16:15

I'd say if you're thinking about kissing her then you're deffo attracted to her. I have NEVER thought about kissing someone that I'm not attracted to, which is why I don't go about wanting to kiss blokes.

Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 16:21

This woman herself has 2 10 and 8 and was with a man for 11 years so I guess she wasn’t sure herself for a while.

OP posts:
Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 16:21

2 kids

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 29/04/2018 16:34

I suppose if you imagine her meeting someone else and you feel gutted about the thought of that, then you'd regret not acting upon your feelings.

I do think you need to get to know her better though and get a bit closer. It should then be easier to be completely honest with her. It's a bit scary but I think you'd regret not putting your cards on the table.

Be realistic though. Your feelings might not be reciprocated. It might go down like a cup of cold sick. Sad It might be that you've built up an idea of her in your mind/got a bit infatuated and she doesn't live up to that.

Ticketsfrom · 29/04/2018 16:37

Faint heart never won fair maiden...

GirlsBlouse17 · 29/04/2018 17:14

What is it you find attractive about this woman OP?

Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 17:18

She’s funny,got a really quirky personality.
When we chat it’s exciting and I feel a little spark.
I just smile when I’m around her.
We were in the back of the taxi and my leg touched hers and I was getting that nervous /excited feeling.
She’s pretty and I’ve never met anyone like her.
She’s so random.

OP posts:
Lesbionage · 29/04/2018 17:22

I think perhaps if you like her but can't imagine having sex with her it could just be an intense platonic attraction. This is a lot commoner than it might seem- for example me and my guy friend have this. I love him to bits as a friend (more so than a normal close friend) but the idea of shagging him fills me with concern and slight disgust. Still a valid form of attraction and at first glance indistinguishable from fancying someone sexually.

GirlsBlouse17 · 29/04/2018 17:58

Life is too short OP . Just see where your feelings take you. Would you feel jealous if you saw her interested in someone else?

Original poster
Malibuandpineapple32 · 29/04/2018 18:28

When she was dating this girl I was really really jealous.
Had that sinking feeling

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread