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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to ask my neighbour to not use washing machine after 8pm?

266 replies

hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 11:27

Our neighbours’s Washing machine is right above our son’s soon to be new Bedroom. He goes to bed about 8. The washing machine makes the whole room vibrate. Would it be unreasonable to ask the neighbours to try and not use it after 8pm?

OP posts:
Original poster
hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 17:46

"a bit rude" for wondering whether I should do something before doing it? AIBU thought police are out today I see! :-D

It wouldn't bother me , but I thought it might bother some, so it's been really useful to read your views. Thanks all!

OP posts:
Northernparent68 · 29/04/2018 17:57

If you mention the washing machine to them, they will complain about the noise your baby makes

SinglePringle · 29/04/2018 18:00

I live in a (very well soundproofed) flat. If my neighbour asked I would think they were very precious but would say (and mean) that I’d try to keep their request in mind BUT my schedule might mean I would have to ignore their request at times and they would have to live with that.

I would mean it and try to accommodate (whilst inwardly thinking Hmm) but ultimately, if there were ‘inconvenient’ times I needed to use the machine, I would.

Reel9 · 29/04/2018 18:02

DOES your neighbour rent? If so, there’s probably something in the agreement that says they can’t use the washing machine when they’re not in the building. I have this in my agreement, which means I can only put the washing machine on when I’m home from work. Around 8pm.

MiserablePissWeasel · 29/04/2018 18:03

I missed the bit about complaining at hammering at 8pm. That's a bit silly. I'd not feel bad asking her not to put her wash on after that!

catlovingdoctor · 29/04/2018 18:03

What if they have a stomach bug or food poisoning and are sick, and need to wash their bedding and towels? YABU!

AntiHop · 29/04/2018 18:05

I would very politely ask if there's any chance she could avoid doing washing at that time and/or find a way of reducing vibration. If I was your neighbour, I'd try to be helpful.

We live in a flat and our neighbours told us a pipe noise was waking them up. One of the pipes was making a load noise when we flushed the toilet. We were up much earlier than them. I got a plumber out as soon as they told me they could hear it, and got the problem fixed. It's common courtesy to be mindful of your impact on neighbours.

Original poster
hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 18:09

yeah if i knew that something I was doing was regularly waking someone up, then I'd definitely try to avoid it. Like how I insist my children stay in their bedroom until 7am each day ( rather than 6am) rather than getting up and playing around the flat, as I know that my neighbours will be able to hear them and I don't want them to be disturbed. I also stop them if they are running around or jumping, as they are making too much noise. I usually say "Remember we have neighbours. What do you sound like on their ceiling?" and they dutifully say " a heard of elephants".

OP posts:
llangennith · 29/04/2018 18:10

No harm in asking. I certainly wouldn’t mind being asked this.
Mind you, don’t mention the noise to your DS as kids often don’t notice noises we adults do. You may find the noise doesn’t bother him or wake him.
Be nice and neighbourly and I’m sure she’ll respond positively.

Original poster
hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 18:13

yeah, i'll not mention it to him. He's so excited about having his own room, he'll maybe be fine! Fingers crossed. and if we do have to cross that bridge , then I'll go have a neighbourly chat armed with an anti vibration mat , thanks to this thread.

OP posts:
CrackingEggs · 29/04/2018 18:16

We've just put an anti vibration mat under our washing machine. It was a compete pain and took two of us to do it and level the machine again. While a useful idea it's not easy and may not be practical if she's on her own.
The vibration problem can't be solved completely when the machine isn't on concrete floor. However if there is a counter top between the machine then wedging a paperback book between the two things can really help.
Now I don't see how you can politely suggest all these as solutions to your neighbour who might not even realise there is an issue in the first place.

Viviennemary · 29/04/2018 18:17

I sympathise but I think YAB a bit unreasonable to say no washing after 8 pm. After 10 pm would be quite late to do washing. But 8 pm is quite acceptable.

Original poster
hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 18:20

indeed cracking eggs! especially since we don't have much contact. She's not unpleasant at all, but she gives off the distinct impression that she doesn't want to interact with us.

if we have any masters of diplomacy here. please feel free to suggest!

OP posts:
Finderscrispy · 29/04/2018 18:30

Don’t see any problem in asking. Most people are decent and will try to accommodate if you ask - I would.
Mumsnet seems to operate in a parallel universe when it comes to noise tolerance. Children can bounce on trampolines at anytime during daylight hours. This is family noise, so fuck you and get a detached house/ ear plugs/ white noise if you don’t like it. The old ‘they might be shift workers’ trope gets trotted out every time someone complains about hoovering at midnight. Batshit.
Just go round explain and be as nice as you can. Fingers crossed for you.

CalF123 · 29/04/2018 18:37

YABVU

Why should your kids dictate when people can and can't use their household appliances? She has every right to use it at 8pm, 8am or any other time that suits her. You'd have a case if she was blasting music but it's unbelievable arrogance to think you can ban her from using her own washing machine at a perfectly normal time.

Original poster
hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 18:40

"unbelievable arrogance! " for asking whether i should do something before i do it, to try and ensure it's not the wrong thing to do!

wow!

i love aibu!

OP posts:
Iceweasel · 29/04/2018 18:49

If your other child/ren are under 10 or the same sex as your DS, could they share? Or if you have an older child with a later bedtime could they swap rooms?

I think you need to work out a way to live with it, though if the neighbour runs the machine after 10pm again I would probably mention the noise to her, so she is aware. Earlier, and I would not mention it.

IbizaLovesSundays · 29/04/2018 18:57

I think you would be totally reasonable to make them aware that there is a noise issue, as in fairness they probably have no idea. And just casually mention that it's over your sons room and can be quite loud when he's trying to sleep but make it clear you aren't asking them to stop using it after 8pm, just you wanted to let them know

cadburyegg · 29/04/2018 18:59

I dont think you would be unreasonable to ask but don’t expect it. The problem is you are not just asking for it not to be run in the evening but probably 8pm-7am which is tricky if you work shifts, long days or even if you run it overnight and want to hang it up in the morning which is what a lot of people do.

How old is your baby?- it is good for them to get used to a certain amount of noise. Plenty of young kids have to sleep through neighbors parties etc

WhiteCoyote · 29/04/2018 19:24

I’d turn it off after 8 if it was disturbing my neighbours and they’d (nicely) ask me. It’s beyond me how many people are so uncaring of thier neighbours.

Havevou actually tried him sleeping with the noise though, op? My little sausage isn’t at all bothered by the washing machine noise (and ours is stupidly loud).

Original poster
hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 19:37

my baby is 8!

yes, we'll see if he sleeps through it. You're all right, he might. I might just be worrying about nothing!

OP posts:
Dwellerfromunderthesink · 29/04/2018 20:05

its unbelievable arrogance to think you can ban her from using her own washing machine at a perfectly normal time

It’s hardly unbelievably arrogant to politely ask if it’s possible and explain why, which is what OP is proposing. She knows it’s a reasonable time but is worried its going to stop her DS from getting to sleep. She isn’t banning her from using it at 8pm, just asking if it’s all possible to change the time she does it.

AngryGinger · 29/04/2018 20:07

YANBU to ask however 8pm isn’t that late. I personally wouldn’t do any washing after 9 but quite often get in from work or the gym at 7/8 and put a wash on. All you asking will do is make them feel a bit awkward. If they are doing washing at that time that’s because it’s the time that works for them.

doleritedinosaur · 29/04/2018 20:25

I would just ask nicely & definitely suggest the anti vibration mat.
We live in a terrace & I don’t hoover or run the machine past 7 but my neighbours are being dicks about their horrid music playing so now I take great joy in doing the loudest spin in the evening & in the mornings.

Hopefully your neighbour will be more accommodating than mine.

Isleepinahedgefund · 29/04/2018 20:29

Explain the problem to then and see if you can come up with a solution between you. Don’t go in telling them not to because your PFB will be sleeping in there, if you came and said it to me I’d be annoyed and probably put it on on purpose! But if you came round to discuss I’d be fine. Chances are the washer is knocking against something or can be stood on something to mitigate the noise. My old one was SO NOISY you could hear it down the hallway of our block, must have been hell for the neighbours even thought I only ran it in the day but as it was really small I had to put it on a lot. My new one is very quiet and isn’t a noise problem, but when it was first plumbed in it was slightly against the cabinet it’s in and it was the knocking against that which was annoying - moved it 1cm and it’s fine.

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