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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to ask my neighbour to not use washing machine after 8pm?

266 replies

hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 11:27

Our neighbours’s Washing machine is right above our son’s soon to be new Bedroom. He goes to bed about 8. The washing machine makes the whole room vibrate. Would it be unreasonable to ask the neighbours to try and not use it after 8pm?

OP posts:
OpiningGambit · 29/04/2018 20:37

I wouldnt mind being asked but really I dont think the neighbour is doing anything wrong. I'd think about you paying for your sons room to be soundproofed.You can buy the boards and put them up yourself.

OK didn't say they were doing anything wrong.

Soundproofing for this noise won't work. You'd need a drop ceiling and a false wall.

YANBU to ask, obviously. I asked my neighbours, as their machine is above the bedroom (which, no, we cannot magically move) and makes everything in my room shake and is plenty loud enough to wake me up. I measured the decibels and it was the equivalent of having the hoover going.

Our neighbours are lovely and agreed to not run their machine after 9pm. No problems!

OpiningGambit · 29/04/2018 20:40

(I'm going to look up these anti-vibration mats for my neighbours. Even in day time their machine is uncomfortably loud, accompanied by lots of rattling)

mermaidsandunicorns · 29/04/2018 20:49

I used to live in an upstairs apartment with a neighbour who complained if I put my washing machine on at any time. It caused my anxiety to go through the roof as I was constantly worried about her knocking on the door. I moved

headinhands · 29/04/2018 20:56

I wouldn't feel comfortable asking that of a neighbour. Mine is in now and it doesn't seem late.

Angie169 · 29/04/2018 21:07

I do not understand why most posters are saying YAU to ask if they would not mind not using the washer after 8pm .
but it is about how you ask , it must be polite and not demanding . start the conversation by ' sorry if we kept you awake / woke you up with our washer going the other day . is there a time you would prefer me not to use it , - - - - - then would you mind not using yours after 8pm , perhaps even invite her round for coffee while her washer is going so she can hear how loud it is ..
However if it is not convenient for her then I think the responsibility is on you to help cut the noise , have a look at Acoustical solutions ( sorry dont know how to post a link ) on their take on sound proofing , it is not as straight forward as sticking foam to a wall .

Pleasebeafleabite · 29/04/2018 21:10

I use mine on an evening to wash DS sport kit for next evening and it goes in a short wash at 9.15

Sorry but i think yabu to ask as if neighbour is washing at that time there is probably a good reason

Ditzyitzy · 29/04/2018 21:16

No yanbu to ask they could be very reasonable about it. I can’t believe someone described a washing machine vibrating as white noise, the sound is unbearable!

FASH84 · 29/04/2018 21:18

You know what used to drive me mad when we lived in a flat? The baby upstairs screaming constantly and the kids on the top floor who would race up and down the communal stairs sometimes until after midnight. YABU, unless you have a magical way of keeping your child silent he WILL disturb your neighbour, so unreasonable for you to tell her not to put a wash on, it's a down side of living in a flat. Funny how you thought it was ok to hammer for something non urgent at 8pm but now it might affect your child any noise at that time is a nuisance.

madmother1 · 29/04/2018 21:25

I live in an open planned downstairs and time my washing machine to come on about 2 hours before I come home, so it doesn't bother us. Perhaps suggest a timer as I'm sure it must annoy your neighbours too.

Original poster
hooochycoo · 29/04/2018 21:50

Thanks everyone for your advise and opinions

OP posts:
Tink06 · 29/04/2018 22:24

Yanbu to politely ask and explain why. I would be mortified I thought my washing machine was keeping your son awake. I think it's easily worked round if they know.

WeAllHaveWings · 29/04/2018 22:40

I wouldn't go up with an anti vibration mat as a miracle simple solution it is not an easy job to move a machine out from under a worktop, fix a rubber mat to the floor, and then move a heavy machine back in on top of a rubber mat.

I would go up very apologetic, explain the problem and impact and ask if you/your dh can look at to fix or could you pay for a professional to fix the problem. Hopefully she will say she will try to fix herself.

CalF123 · 30/04/2018 00:51

Assuming someone doesn't get home from work until 6, before presumably having dinner, it could easily be after 8 before they get round to household tasks like laundry. 8pm is not late, and it's self-centred at best to expect people to walk on eggshells round your routine.

Even mentioning it to your neighbour will make them feel bad and they'll feel like they have to stop, despite the fact they're doing nothing wrong. Completely ludicrous.

CalF123 · 30/04/2018 00:59

Also "she wakes the children up when she gets in at 5am". What do you want her to do? Sit in her car until your kids have woken up? Unless you live on a country estate, everyone is going to experience normal domestic noise from neighbours. Expecting people not to use a washing machine or (shock horror)come home from work at an unapproved time in case your little darlings are disturbed is the height of ignorance and selfishness.

Original poster
hooochycoo · 30/04/2018 01:26

OP- wondering whether to do something, so asks for opinions. Gets a diverse response, but majority advise cautions. Listens, thanks everyone for opinions and thinks on.

CalF- «height of ignorance and selfishness»

:-D

OP posts:
ThereAreTooMany · 30/04/2018 09:26

AIBU is getting crazier and crazier. My mind boggles why people have to be so aggressive and understand peasant. Even if posters disagree with the OP I don't know why they have to be so nasty about it.

OP, I'd ask. I'd phrase it that I was asking a 'favour' of her and I would also tell her that you would welcome her coming down and hearing the noise for herself.

BTW have you checked that there are no restrictions as to when you can use appliances. There are in some flats.

User09876543321126 · 30/04/2018 09:28

I don’t see any harm in asking them but don’t expect it to change. I work shifts (24hrs a day) so my machine goes on at all random hours of the day and there’s not much I can do about that.

I used to live below someone in a flat and you could hear everything unfortunately but that’s part of living in a new build flat.

I’m sure your son will get used to it. It will be like white noise.

ThereAreTooMany · 30/04/2018 09:28

Sorry typos...

Understand pleasant = unpleasant.

Lethaldrizzle · 30/04/2018 10:11

Working shifts does not mean you have to use the washing machine at unsocialable hours. You wouldn't put up shelves at all hours.

TomRavenscroft · 30/04/2018 10:13

Working shifts does not mean you have to use the washing machine at unsocialable hours

It does sometimes. Plenty of people have been on here with their own experiences to illustrate why.

In any case, 8pm is not particularly 'unsociable'.

Original poster
hooochycoo · 30/04/2018 10:54

I personally have to do pretty much two loads a day and I always try and avoid using it after the kids are in bed as it’s noisy when they are trying to sleep. I usually put one load on in the morning 7 ish and hang it up before work, and one load on at dinner time and hang it up overnight.

But yes, I understand some folk will leave the house earlier than me or get home later. I think the lady upstairs from me maybe works nights, so perhaps 8pm is her morning?

Och well, we’ll see what happens. It is a particularly loud machine so maybe if it is an issue then some soundproofing around the machine chat will be all that’s needed.

Thank again

OP posts:
Sleeplikeasloth · 30/04/2018 12:00

8pm is not antisocial, and washing machines can also take a long time. Unless I use the 'quick wash' (which isn't always great with baby clothes), I'd need to put on my washing machine no later than half past four, in order for it to be done by 8!

Even on a quick wash, I'd have to get the washing in before 7. We've barely all got in and had dinner by then.

jellycat1 · 30/04/2018 12:11

I was the woman upstairs. Except I was using my washing machine mid morning and when my neighbour came up he was the definition of passive aggressive and ended up by telling me i needed to buy a brand new and quieter washing machine. Left me wanting to punch him in his irritating little face. (This was the first time we'd met and was the first of a string of increasingly irritating things he did. Shudder.) However, judging by what you've written, if you had come to me and asked, I would 100% have accommodated your request. So I don't think YABU at all to ask. I didn't work shifts though.

ToadOfSadness · 30/04/2018 12:52

Ask her to come down and listen to it, give her the inflatable mat thing I suggested earlier and also get her a mat to go underneath, offer to help fit it. Apparently the ones that fit underneath can work if you cut them into bits and just put them under the corners as it is easier than putting under the entire machine.

If you didn't see my previous post, it is an inflatable thing that fits between the top of the machine and the worktop which can be adjusted. I have one and it has helped.

TemptressofWaikiki · 30/04/2018 13:06

There is a significant difference between a washing machine running at 8pm and loud hammering. The latter is not appropriate or legal. And fair enough about not bothering her on Halloween. That still doesn’t give you any sort of moral quid pro quo to expect her to accommodate an unreasonable request.