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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give dh yesterday's tea because of his nasty drunkenness.

83 replies

littlesprocker · 28/04/2018 13:06

If he'd phoned me to let me know he was going out drinking straight after work i wouldn't have bothered cooking it. But oblivious to his drinking plan because the ignorant sod didn't ring to let me know, i'd put him a pork chop, mushrooms, peas and new potatoes on low.

He eventually turned up about 11pm absolutely steaming drunk, nasty and argumentative, couldn't even undress himself. He's gone to work today, not even an apology for all the upset, the chop, mushrooms etc still in pans. That's it, he'll have to sort it all out himself when he comes in. There's nothing else in for him.

OP posts:
toolonglurking · 28/04/2018 13:10

No dinner as a start, followed by asking him for an explanation why he didn't let you know, and then an explanation for why he felt it was OK to be such an arse to you when he got home.

Lostforagoodname · 28/04/2018 13:10

Is he often nasty to you when he’s drunk

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/04/2018 13:11

I wouldn’t give him anything. Let him sort it out himself.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 28/04/2018 13:11

Can you be out for the evening when he gets home?

ilovesooty · 28/04/2018 13:12

I think talking to him about your feelings re last night's events is the priority. What he has to eat is a side issue

alibongo5 · 28/04/2018 13:13

Well, not as a punishment as such but yes, to avoid waste. Occasionally one of us, for whatever reason (e.g. not feeling hungry, miscommunication or whatever) won't eat a meal already prepared for us so we regularly pop it in the fridge and reheat it the next day.

The issue is his rudeness etc not the meal in itself I would say.

liquidrevolution · 28/04/2018 13:13

If lock the door and tell him to sleep elsewhere until you have calmed down and thought about what YOU want to happen next tbh.

But then my dad was a violent alcoholic so I have no truck with those that drink to excess with no thought for others.

NewYearNewMe18 · 28/04/2018 13:14

I think you've got more to worry about than a chop in a pan.

fantasmasgoria1 · 28/04/2018 13:14

Definitely let him sort himself, don’t do anything for him. I agree that’s a side issue and the way he behaved is the primary concern. Is he often like this?

Wolfiefan · 28/04/2018 13:15

Why are you letting him back in? Confused

NewYearNewMe18 · 28/04/2018 13:15

This advice to lock people out of their own property is illegal, and really it should stop before it provokes all manner of horrors.

NoParticularPattern · 28/04/2018 13:16

I think that would be bloody generous! He’d be getting bugger all from me and I’d want to know why he thought it was acceptable to not bother to let me know he was going to be late. I’d also want to know why he thought being abusive when he did eventually come in was ok too. Sorry OP but he sounds like an absolute dickhead.

Original poster
littlesprocker · 28/04/2018 13:17

Yes he can't handle drink, always had this nasty streak in him when he's drunk. I said to him this morning "every other husband rings their wife to let them know they're in the pub, except you". He answered "get off my case" and walked out.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 28/04/2018 13:24

He's a nasty drunk. If he was mine he could stay elsewhere tonight and he would soon be an ex.

WeirdCatLady · 28/04/2018 13:25

I would indeed getnoff his case. Permanently.

If this was me, he’d be coming home to find his bags packed.

speakout · 28/04/2018 13:25

OP- this is no way to be treated.

But I suspect you know this.
I sense from your words this is not an isolated incident.

How long have you been together?

WeirdCatLady · 28/04/2018 13:25

get off

FFS, I can type, honestly Grin

adaline · 28/04/2018 13:29

So he's unpleasant when he's sober as well?

What a catch Hmm

Original poster
littlesprocker · 28/04/2018 13:29

We've been together a long time, over 30 years.

OP posts:
MumofBoysx2 · 28/04/2018 13:35

I'd chuck it out and let him get his own dinner tonight!

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 28/04/2018 13:36

I think talking to him about your feelings re last night's events is the priority. What he has to eat is a side issue

This, mainly ^^. The dinner isn't the issue here, OP.

That's it, he'll have to sort it all out himself when he comes in. There's nothing else in for him

It wouldn't cross my mind to think about feeding someone who had just treated me like this. He came in 'steaming drunk, nasty and argumentative?'

Seriously, OP. I would not be worrying about pork chops at this stage.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 28/04/2018 13:37

I'd chuck it out and let him get his own dinner tonight!

Or chuck him out and make yourself something nice?

Original poster
littlesprocker · 28/04/2018 13:37

This kind of behaviour makes me hate him. I expect a bit of remorse. Tonight when he's fully sober he probably will be, but i can't be bothered with him.

OP posts:
Lostforagoodname · 28/04/2018 13:37

Someone who’s vicious and angry when they’re drunk is a really bad thing.
You’re on eggshells when you know they are out drinking.
I put up with it for years. It was truly awful

adaline · 28/04/2018 13:39

Has he always been like this? What's he like when he's sober?

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