Angry parter

[akate18]

Hello, new to this place. Hope I am posting in the right place.

My partner works 11 days on 3 days off, he always works away but travels home regularly during those 11 days. Can be very long hours. I am currently on maternity,

Every night he is home he comes home to a clean house, food in the table waiting and a happy, clean fed baby.

Every night he leaves a trail of mess behind him. I also have the baby 24/7, I have her the nights he has work the next day plus the time he has off and he needs to catch up on his sleep. Tonight I am absolutely exhausted, I have a long day ahead of my also tomorrow so asked my partner if he could clean the baby's bottles for me, he declined, I asked if he could just tidy up the kitchen, he declined again.

He then hears me slamming and banging about in the kitchen, comes out and asks me ' what's the matter' I replied with the, foods always waiting, always clean and you can't help me blah blah blah. He responds with look it took you two seconds, and other rather sarcastic comments. I then called him out by calling him sarcastic to which he responds just do it you fking lazy b**tch. Now this isn't the first time he has been verbally aggressive and probably won't be the last.

But Aibu by asking him to help me with a small bit of cleaning?

[Cath2907]

Go home.

I am a mum to a 7yr old DD. It would break my heart to think she'd stay with a dick head like this because she was too embarassed to tell me he was a dick.

He isn't a good Dad. A good Dad doesn't refuse to clean his child's bottles.

[pickly]

Op I'm so sorry he's a selfish, abusive shit. You shouldn't even have to ask him to clean bottles. What does he think you've been doing all day exactly?!?

If my DH is home at a reasonable hour, he'll always cook when he gets in and do bath, books and bedtime with baby. I'm not saying that to rub salt in the wound but to hopefully make you realise he's treating you like some 1950s housewife and not appreciating anything you contribute to your family. You're supposed to be a team.

He's either extremely ignorant or very stupid to think that being at home all day with baby is "lazy".

[Italiangreyhound]

"I think it's when I am very tired." I bet you feel tired with all you have to do.

"I have wonderfully supportive friends but I am just too embarrassed to talk to them about it."

I think he is relying on your not telling friends. Do your frienfd all think he is great?

"
Someone else can fucking have you because I don't want you.

Second time he's said that in a week. So maybe I am the issue."

*Not you, it is him."

Either he is wanting to break up and testing the waters to see what you say or he is 'negging', negative comments to drive down your self esteem.

Please speak to women's aid.

Are you married? Do you own the home together or 'rent together?

[Italiangreyhound]

Please go back to your parents and cut this loser loose.

[twinkletoes741]

He is abusing you. Please leave him.

I've been there, got the t-shirt, and it takes great strength to leave. You have that strength....I promise you.

[TheMythOfFingerprints]

He's trying to train you op.

After his gobbing off about not wanting you, you are supposed to panic and apologise and make his lunch and lay back and think of England.

Then the next time you think about asking him to do the tiniest bit of work around the house or with his own baby, you will remember this and not bother because he might leave you.

Training.
You are not a dog.

[akate18]

Thank you for everyone's comments. Means a lot to know that I'm not the only one who has been in this sort of situation.

He's away for a few days now so I have the house to myself with the baby and can really have a think about my next step.

[Ginkypig]

I'm glad you have some time with no pressure to think akate.

I hope you realise your worth more than this.

[altiara]

for you akate
You and baby don’t deserve to be treated like this.

[JeezeLouise]

OP, don't feel embarrassed that your partner is an abusive arsehole. If your daughter grows up in this environment she will think it is normal and will go on to perpetuate the cycle.