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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this timing is suspect

88 replies

tobeworriedabouthis · 26/04/2018 22:47

Have promised DW a romantic weekend away after a long period of me working lots. Had a call from ex this morning DC is dreadfully sick and needs taken to hospital. She won't take DC because she has an important day at work. (I also work) Firstly I think DC should go to Dr first, not straight to A&E. She insisted and said I didn't care about DC if I didn't take them.) they are 10. Picked up DC and took them to A&E, waiting to been seen DC is full of cold, nasty cough and a bit wheezy. Obviously I am worried and them but not a case for A&E, have decided just to take them to the GP instead. Ex had already asked if I could have DC this week and I said no, I was away for the weekend. AIBU to think this is a cry for attention, it all seemed a bit dramatic and over the top. If she was so worried why didn't she take them or call the night dr from home. Rather than me driving an hour until I could have taken them or I could have met them at the hospital? I can see the next thing will be - you need to have DC and cancel your weekend, they are sick I'm too busy with work.

OP posts:
blackteasplease · 26/04/2018 23:01

When you say wheeze do you mean asthma? That can often mean a and e.

Doesn't sound like you ought to be taking over the weekend - does she work weekends? But someone has to make your poor dc feel wanted I guess.

SheSparkles · 26/04/2018 23:03

Too busy and important for work but the child needs to go to A&E. She’s at it big style

MismatchedStripySocks · 27/04/2018 08:02

She’s taking the p*. If the child was that ill she wouldn’t be going to work. She is just miffed that you’re having a weekend away and trying to make you feel bad.

Lacucuracha · 27/04/2018 08:10

Does ex know about the romantic weekend?

What are your contact arrangements with DC usually?

Iggiattheend · 27/04/2018 08:15

We don’t know enough. Why should her day at work be the one to be cancelled, do you normally share sick days or is she expected to pick them all up? When you spend the night with a sick child they often seem much worse. Perhaps said child was asking for you. If you’ve been working so much as to need to have a catch-up weekend with wife maybe you’ve not seen the dc much either. Though I did watch a film yesterday where a jealous ex set the new wife up for a murder charge so who knows.

northbynorthwesty · 27/04/2018 08:17

Could you re arrange romantic weekend ?

TheBigFatMermaid · 27/04/2018 08:30

I'll reserve judgment until we find out what the doctor says.

Collaborate · 27/04/2018 08:49

The parent who the child is with should be the one taking the child to the doctors. Sounds suspect to me.

summerinthecountry · 27/04/2018 08:54

Well as you are the one taking the day off work and also organising the medical care today, then I think it is safe to say it will most definitely be her turn tomorrow.

The dc sounds like a cold, unless they have asthma, so unless the child is very ill I would def be going away as planned!

LifeBeginsAtGin · 27/04/2018 08:57

How did she know you had plans this weekend??

Is it your weekend to have them?

Next time don't tell her. Or don't answer the phone. If it's an emergency someone will find a way to contact you.

mimibunz · 27/04/2018 08:58

Very suspect. I have the same cold, btw.

Original poster
tobeworriedabouthis · 27/04/2018 08:58

It's not my contact weekend. Can't rearrange, as would loose the full cost of hotel, spa etc. Dr was pretty general, might be a bit of chest infection or just a cold. No temp, nothing heard in chest etc. General antibiotics as a precaution. Thought the laboured breathing was 'stress/upset from coughing' DC is still with me as ex said will come and pick them up in the morning as she is still busy with work. Which doesn't help me as meant to be leaving early morning.

OP posts:
POPholditdown · 27/04/2018 08:59

Why should her day at work be the one to be cancelled

If it’s an emergency, why wait an extra hour for the OP to get there?

Sirzy · 27/04/2018 09:04

If she thought she needed a and e she wouldn’t be waiting over an hour!

Glad she is ok

TheBigFatMermaid · 27/04/2018 09:06

Definitely suspect then!

Appuskidu · 27/04/2018 09:08

DC is still with me as ex said will come and pick them up in the morning as she is still busy with work. Which doesn't help me as meant to be leaving early morning.

Are you going away today or tomorrow?

I’d drop DC back to her (at work or even grandma’s if need be) rather than wait for her to come to you.

SickofThomasTheTank · 27/04/2018 09:09

DO MOT WAIT FOR HER - SHE WILL NOT TURN UP UNTIL IT IS SAFELY TOO LATE FOR YOU TO GO ANYWHERE!

Take DC to her place of work/Grand Parents.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/04/2018 09:11

Take them back to her tonight. She is either trying to ruin your weekend or she has plans herself and forgot to ask for child care. She won't turn up early tomorrow.

RebootYourEngine · 27/04/2018 09:14

Sounds very suspect.

Is there anyone else who could have the dc until she finishes work, grandparents, aunty etc? This may sound selfish but i would do everything you can to go away for the weekend. Your dc has been checked by a gp and is fine.

RedHelenB · 27/04/2018 09:15

This is a child not a piece of rubbish to be dumped back at her mum's. . Romantic plans or not she comes first.

Crispbutty · 27/04/2018 09:16

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3193729-stuck-between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place

Is it this weekend or is this a regular occurrence that she tries to mess your weekends up?

DragonMummy1418 · 27/04/2018 09:18

Just drop dc at your ex's house this evening. Tell her it's her weekend and she needs to sort her own work out.

RebootYourEngine · 27/04/2018 09:19

RedHelenB it sounds like the ex wife is using the child as a pawn to stop the OP from going away for the weekend. The child has been checked over by a gp and is fine so nothing wrong with the child staying at grandmas until mum finishes work.

TawnyPort · 27/04/2018 09:20

Let me guess, you have EOW and she has 12 out of 14 days, yet shes the one taking the piss when it comes to doing the actual job of parenting?

Hmm Hmm
AgathaF · 27/04/2018 09:21

Can you drop the child back at her mum's on your way to your hotel? Or tonight - surely she's not working all night?

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