To ask why the Brits hate apartment-living?

[PaulaLollie]

Hi all, I have been living in the UK for a few years, but I am originally from Europe and I have lived in multiple countries before moving to the UK.

I have never understood why the Brits seem to be so into living in a house vs. living in an apartment.

Where I come from, the wealthy live in huge, renovated, fancy apartments in nice historical buildings, right in the city centre. That is "the dream" for most, if you see what I mean.

In my home country, living in a house most of the times means living in the countryside/ suburbs, which is not what most people aspire to do, if they have the means to live in the city centre. The concept of having a family = living in a house does not really exist.

For example, I come from a comfortable family background, went to private school, and grew up in an apartment. Nearly all my childhood friends did the same. It never crossed my mind that growing up in an apartment was anything less than ideal.

Here in the UK (as widely shown here on Mumsnet) it sounds like the dream is living in a house, while living in an apartment is really not that great if you have an alternative.

Please, British mumsnetters, can you shed some light on this aspect of the British society? I genuinely just don't get it!

Thank you!

Garden....own private outside space where I can indulge my love of growing things, both flowers and edibles.
Space all around me that I own. I don't want to live on top of, or underneath other people and be at the mercy of their habits.
My own front door (and back door).
A good environment for my cats.

I live rurally and wouldn't live in a city now for anything.

Garden for pets
Space around me and less noise from neighbours.
In an apartment block I might have to talk to people on the way to my flat when I didn't want to.

However my Italian partner is convinced that living in a house you're exposed and a target for thieves. Even worse if you're rural! I cannot change his mind...

Yes, my Parisian friend has been locked in argument with his American wife for years -- she wants a house, and he's such an ingrained apartment-dweller that he cannot get beyond the fact that, for him, not only are you less secure, but you are responsible for your own roof and external repairs, and you have to do all the gardening. Which he thinks is really weird and unaccountable.

All of the above!

British people want their own garden space. Like having no upstairs and downstairs neighbour noise.

No shared hall ways/stairwells etc. Lots of British people like going straight from the street into their own property, not having to go through a shared space where they can't control who's in it.

And because of this love of houses, the only flats that are built are designed for couples, and tend to be quite small, designed for people who don't have families, so younger couples or older retired people (who don't want the garden hassle).

As to owning over renting - this is mainly because unless you are in a council owned property, renters have fuck all rights, fine if you just want somewhere for a short-ish time, or are younger and want to easily 'move up' quality of property, but not great as a long term plan.

Plus it's quite nice to buy somewhere rather than rent it, and then have a date which you'll not have to pay a mortgage or rent anymore. I genuinely don't understand why more Europeans don't think the idea of not having to pay out housing costs each month from around their mid-50s onwards isn't fabulous. Why wouldn't you want to get a mortgage and pay it off, then own your flat and not have to pay something each month? Surely if you get somewhere you plan to live in for 40+ years, then only paying out each month for 25 of them, seems better than all 40? (and then at the end of the 40 years, own it so get most of your money back - if not more than you paid out)

I prefer my house because

I have a garden
I have private off road parking
I can hang my washing out
I don't hear any noise from neighbours
And I actually know my neighbours. I've spoken to neighbours more in the year I've lived in my house than I spoke to neighbours in the 8 years I was in my flat.

I like to have a garden and I don’t want to share walls floors or ceilings with potentially anti social neighbours.

For me the biggest issue is noise.

I have lived in two different flats in London and in both neighbour noise was an issue. One was a lovely flat in a lovely old mansion block and noise was a huge issue for all the residents. Even with carpet and no shoes people could still hear each other’s footsteps and there were huge arguments about children playing, etc. Never again!!

Housing stock in the U.K. is pretty shit in general.

It's got to be the garden. We Brits are well known for loving our plants - just think of the Chelsea Flower Show. Living in a house gives us the chance to own a little piece of land to call our own. Also, getting close to nature is good for health and happiness - seeing the regrowth of our gardens in the springtime lifts our spirits.

This is a very crowded island and we can find sanctuary in our own green space. If I had to live in a flat I would feel that there was something vital missing in my life and my soul would die.

Flats and apartments in the UK - unless at the super luxury end - are in no way comparable to flats/apartments on the continent. Most British people's image of a flat is probably either a poorly done Victorian conversion or a new build shoe box . That's why people don't aspire to live in them.

mn does seem to live in a different uk from me, one where it always rains. we do have some spots like that and i do feel for those on the wrong side of hills with no choice.

but we are also a shouty selfish natio n, as you will also see on here from those who think they have every right to talk at top volume, to leave the dog to bark, play music outside or let their kids scream and their teens thud about. hence flats are no fun.

Most new build flats in the uk are tiny and not fit for purpose.

My friends overseas live in flats but they have proper washing facilities and are very big. Unlike here!

Garden 🌳🌸🌳

I've lived in a number of flats, some of them in pretty good locations. I now have a house. In the garden I grow potatoes, carrots, beetroot, peas, tomatoes, courgettes, rhubarb, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, gooseberries, currants, salad leaves, herbs... In the summer, I can sit out in the garden and smell the herbs, and hear the bees, and watch the sun set over the sea. Or fire up the barbecue. I have offroad parking. And a garage. I no longer have noise coming through the ceiling, and floor, and walls, from the other apartments.

I like my house.

It's not just flat/apartment vs big detached houses though, many non-flat properties are tiny and completely lack privacy.

There was a thread recently about people not knowing where to put their hoover in a new build because of the complete lack of storage.

There is a stigma about apartments.

Where I come from originally you have to have a management agreement for a flatted arrangement, however many separate living arrangements there are in it. Even with 2 separate living arrangements, you still have to sort that legally. Which gives both sets of owners legal protections, as it comes with setting up funds for shared maitenance of things like roofs and chimneys and. Very different here. I've lived there in 4 different types of flats (3 times rented, once owned) but in the UK only in one type (owned) and I would have wished to pick it up wholesale and put it somewhere as a house, as it had wonderful features. It was above a pub, though, with one floor in between.

I think on the continent the arrangements with renting are also so different as many flatted buildings are owned by investment funds, not separate flats by private owners with all the attendant problems that might give.

Most flats/apartments in Britain are poorly built or poor conversions. Too much noise, not enough storage space, and often the rooms are too small. I loved the standard apartments in Switzerland though. The equivalent here would have been very expensive. And the sound proofing was excellent.

British people generally like a) gardening and b) pets, or at least they aspire to liking those things.
There aren't as many beautiful charming apartments in our cities as there are in many European cities. Here, aspiring to live in an apartment is essentially aspiring to live in a shoebox.
British people are generally quite uptight about other people and seek to avoid living too close to anybody else. Noise from other people gives us the rage.

"It's probably partly a knee-jerk reaction to our industrial past where the cities turned into slums due to overpopulation with the masses pouring into urban centres for work.

It could also be partly influenced by emulation of the upper classes as landed gentry tend to live in private estates with access to land. Thus land ownership is a motivator."

TrollTheRespawn this sounds like a really spot-on theory!

Haven't you read all the posts about how cuntish UK neighbours often are OP? Many cannot live in a civilised fashion taking into condideration the close proximity of others living nearby. Apartments sound like a recipe for me going on a mass killing spree if i was surrounded by thoughtless noisy scum. So no.

I don't think "wanting to be like the gentry" is the reason at all.

People have listed a million reasons here - mostly noise.

Have you never heard the expression "an Englishman's home is his castle"? It applies to all Brits I think. We like to have a garden, somewhere to grow veg, hang washing, make the most of the minimal lovely weather we get (Northerner here). We're actually not that pressed for space, contrary to the belief that the UK is much more built up than lots of other countries, so we don't need to cram into flats.

I live in a maisonette (which is like a flat but only 2 stories) and have lived in various flats, houses, bungalows etc and have to say that flats and maisonettes are dingy little holes that are mouldy and something to aspire to get out of asap. Other problems - no storage (I have 2 tiny cupboards that are approx 2ftx2ft and that's it), noise (god the noise), shared gardens (which is a massive problem when you have a dog and ur upstairs neighbour doesn't like that and leaves chicken bones on the patio floor and also said neighbour is previously mentioned noisy cunt).
I could go on...

Give me a house (or bungalow is preferable) somewhere isolated in the country with lots of land and I'll be happy. City living is not for every1!

I hate having to listen to every fucking thing the person upstairs does. Living underneath a subwoofer is hell

OP have you seen British flats?!

I am heading towards retirement and currently divide my time between a big house in the suburbs with a garden/drive/garage etc and a small flat in the centre of a very buzzy city. Living in the flat has made me realise how much I hate gardening and driving . The only things I miss about the big house are multiple bathrooms/loos and some outside space.
When I eventually retire properly I want to sell the big family house and settle into a nice city flat with a balcony or terrace of some sort. I will never have to cut the grass or drive again