To ask why the Brits hate apartment-living?

[PaulaLollie]

Hi all, I have been living in the UK for a few years, but I am originally from Europe and I have lived in multiple countries before moving to the UK.

I have never understood why the Brits seem to be so into living in a house vs. living in an apartment.

Where I come from, the wealthy live in huge, renovated, fancy apartments in nice historical buildings, right in the city centre. That is "the dream" for most, if you see what I mean.

In my home country, living in a house most of the times means living in the countryside/ suburbs, which is not what most people aspire to do, if they have the means to live in the city centre. The concept of having a family = living in a house does not really exist.

For example, I come from a comfortable family background, went to private school, and grew up in an apartment. Nearly all my childhood friends did the same. It never crossed my mind that growing up in an apartment was anything less than ideal.

Here in the UK (as widely shown here on Mumsnet) it sounds like the dream is living in a house, while living in an apartment is really not that great if you have an alternative.

Please, British mumsnetters, can you shed some light on this aspect of the British society? I genuinely just don't get it!

Thank you!

I live in an apartment -an amazing one - and can never "get" this British thing of the dream house with XX bedrooms.....

Think of the cleaning!! . What a waste of a life.

Like the Buddhist monk said "No-one on their death bed will be saying - Wish I'd done more cleaning, or spent more time in the office."

I like my flat. It is quite spacious in s noce area with nice neighbours, luckily. Yes I sometimes hear the children upstairs, but hardly a huge problem. I suppose I’m used to it. I’ve never lived in a house.
I’ve grown up in a busy city and often dream of moving to the countryside or the outskirts of a town so I can have a big house with a garden and I love peace and quiet and open spaces, but truthfully I’d probably hate it after a month.
Also, why do people think you can’t park your car if you have a flat? I pay around £90 a year for my permit and can park outside or on any roads within my permit zone.
Washing gets hung on an airer.
As much as I dream of a garden I’d probably never let anyone out there as I’d hate mess and grass/mud being walked in. I’d also hate having to maintain a garden and it’d probably end up a hideous mess. I would love a dog though.

But you see, in Europe, for example Paris and Berlin, those apartments were purpose built in the 19th century to house proper-sized families. They were well built with thick walls and plenty of space.

I think this is the key really. I'm raising my daughter in an apartment in Zone 2 of London, and moving was such an expensive nightmare that I'm staying put! But the apartment takes a full floor of a huge double fronted Victorian building, and has a garden - it's something like 1500 sq. ft, larger and better proportioned than a lot of the houses we looked at, in a super area.

I find it interesting that many friends in the same (I think) financial brackets, with similar housing needs, went for smaller houses in slightly worse areas.

And I love the neighbours! I agree, that makes all the difference - and you rarely know in advance what they'll be like.

We’ve just bought our first hour after renting a flat for a few years.
I HATED having young children in an apartment. They were like caged dogs on heat! I was SO aware of the sound they made (and that I made, shouting at them) and that all my neighbours could probably hear.
When the sun was shining, I felt forced to go outside to make the most of it, meaning having to pack lunches and go to the park all day long, etc. Now we can just spend the day at home, with kids in underwear in the garden in their paddling pool, etc. They’re SO SO SO much happier.
Getting shopping out the car and putting the bin out were big issues for me in a flat! I’d have to try and get all the bags at once as my kids hate being left anywhere alone, which was a struggle. If I wanted to put the bin out, I’d have to either take them both with me or wait until they were asleep, lock the door and run as fast I could. Once, my son woke when I was going to the bin and thought I’d gone out and was absolutely hysterical.
We also love our privacy. My husband is from Scandinavia and his family live in apartments with no blinds. Privacy just doesn’t seem to be an issue. Walking around the streets in the evening, you can see people eating dinner at their table and even getting undressed.
I think it’s true that ‘every man’s house is his castle’ here, too. We like a plot of land that’s OURS and nobody else’s.

Why would you not want your own garden to sit out in, maybe for children and dogs to play in, to grow your choice of plants and flowers? And not have to put up with neighbours' noise, and equally not have to worry about them hearing you. (Although you obviously do still get that to a certain extent in any house that isn't detached, but a flat must be worse for noise in general). Also flats have ongoing maintenance charges and ground rent, which the residents often have little control over, most houses don't.

Although a nice apartment suits some people at certain stages of their lives, I think for most Brits the dream is really a detached house.

We like to have a garden, somewhere to grow veg, hang washing
Really? I don’t recognise that as wish list.That sounds like hell to me
I have a garden,and pay a gardener to come adhoc. I grow no veg,no thanks

I would hate to live in an apartment.

Because when the kids are being nuts I just open the backdoors and let them run. Rain or shine. They burn off steam and have a great time and my sanity stays in tact.

British people value privacy a lot more than Europeans I feel.

I completely disagree, hence our obsession with non-detached houses, minuscule gardens, shared driveways and so on.

From the train, I can see rows and rows of "gardens" with no space, low fences, there's no space and no privacy. We have no shutters, so many brits live with the curtains opened even with the lights on!

Around here, decent flats are a hell more expensive than a house.

I get that people have different personal preferences, but it's the stigma of apartment living that I don't understand.

I want a garden. Outdoor space for washing, kids playing, and growing stuff.

What really puzzles me is all these huge houses with no outdoor space attached to be honest. I'd demolish half the house and take the space.

The laws on ownership and buying property are different, the leasehold laws governing apartment (and some house purchases) are different, the management charges and ground rent on top of mortgage payments and the shoddy build quality of most flats, many of which are in converted houses.

"Why would you not want your own garden"

I don't have children and am not bothered about having a garden to be honest. I wouldn't want the extra work. I could sit out on a terrace, the trouble is that cheap flats where I live don't have terraces or balconies and I do miss that.

"Washing gets hung on an airer."

Yes, mine does too, but this is not great. Causes humidity in the flat and takes up space. My clothes can take 3 days to dry.

all these huge houses with no outdoor space attached

it happens more and more with people extending their existing property. They can make the house bigger, but not the land, and gardens are shrinking. I agree, it looks awful

And again, there are apartments and apartments. In itself, having a flat or a house means nothing!

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-50946510.html

lol at people ''wanting to live like gentry''. Does that mean wanting to live in a bit of comfort, a bit of space, security, privacy, good light, a nice view, not too much noise pollution or pollution? Is that wanting to live like gentry? Cos yeh, the gentry had a monopoly on wanting that stuff. Nobody else would actually want that.

I love it and I do it. I love living in central London so it's the only option for us as unfortunately we don't have £30 million for a house in my postcode!

and this is a "house"

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-53479962.html

not the same price clearly.

In my part of the country flats are usually above shops. Far from ideal.

I used the live in a ground floor flat with a basement level that belonged to the house next door. I always used to feel really self conscious that I was making a too much noise and disrupting my neighbours.

Also, having live in a terrace the noise levels are in no way comparable to flats.

PersianCat I did post once again up thread. I am reading every comment with interest, I just don't feel like I have much to contribute to the discussion.

I’ve not long moved from a flat to a house that’s half the size and can’t imagine being in a flat again no matter how big. I used to finish work at 2am after a 12 hour shift and not be able to have a shower or move around because it wouldn’t have been fair on the people below.

Garden. BBQ's, paddling pools. No neighbours if at all possible.
Suburban house. Isn't it obvious?

I don't have a garden. My children share a room, we have hardly any storage space so it's impossible not to have crap everywhere, my kids were frequently woken as babies because someone has decided to press all the buzzers at stupid o clock. When my neighbour had a flood it leaked into my flat too. I could go on forever but you get the gist. I'd love a house with a garden, some space and somewhere I could have control over who enters my building.

It's weird, isn't it? Especially since space is at a premium on these islands. We should be building upwards.

I loved the apartments I lived in in Spain - terraces to sit out or hang washing, big windows and those amazing external metal shutters to block out light.