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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you can't spend the day with someone else's child, you're not ready to have your own?

130 replies

SabrinaHope · 26/04/2018 09:09

Just what the title says...

Someone I know is starting to TTC, but she always says how hard it is when she looks after a 9 year old for the day or whatever and says "I couldn't have that all day".

OP posts:
BadlyParkedRangeRover · 26/04/2018 09:25

No. It's completely different with your own kids. Was it your 9 year old? were you being a bit of a cheeky fucker with babysitting???

NotTakenUsername · 26/04/2018 09:27

Yabu.

Other people’s children are nothing like your own.
Love the fart connent! Never gets old unlike spending time with other people’s kids

TheHulksPurplePanties · 26/04/2018 09:28

YABU, I'd rather gouge out my own eyes than take care of other peoples kids for the whole day....too be far some days I want to gouge out my eyes taking care of my own to...I wouldn't use it as a litmus test to see if you're ready for your own.

SadieHH · 26/04/2018 09:28

Of course it's not the same. You don't give birth to a 9 year old. You grow with your child. I always dreaded having a teenager, couldn't fathom them at all. Haven't got one quite yet, eldest is 10, but she's my 10 year old and she'll be my teenager. Completely different to someone else's.

Fruitbat1980 · 26/04/2018 09:28

Yabu. It the reason babies are
Cute and can’t talk. You warm up to them. So when they hit obnoxious toddler stage you’ve got your shit together enough (mostly) to deal with it.
It’s actually same as dogs, I like my dogs, can’t bloody stand other people’s Grin

Soubriquet · 26/04/2018 09:29

I used to look after my niece for my sister more than she did when she was a baby.

Did it prepare me for my own children?
Did it fuck!!!

Springtrolls · 26/04/2018 09:30

I have my own.
Regardless of age I don’t like other people’s children. They annoy me.
Where do I send mine back to? As clearly despite 3 of mine in their 20’s I shouldn’t have had them. Wonder if one of them would tolerate the younger one enough

sockunicorn · 26/04/2018 09:30

I think it’s very different. I didn’t really like or want DC before I had my own. But I love them and adore them.

Also, I find when I have my Nieces and nephews for a few hours i find it so tiring. One is 2 and he runs rings around me. Because I’m not used to a 2 year old and havnt had 2 years “build up” to it. I’m dropped In the deep end. So being handed a 9 year old will be stressful.

Very different if it’s your own and you have the pregnancy/waiting, then the sleepy baby stage, then toddler etc etc. Flowers

StylishMummy · 26/04/2018 09:30

Your own kids are a totally different ball game. I detest looking after other people's kids

BaronessBomburst · 26/04/2018 09:30

I had no maternal instincts before DS came along (unexpectedly). I can happily spend all day with him. I'm fairly happy with family children, but his school friends and random children have me on edge and clock-watching. There's no way I could spend all day with them!
YABU.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 26/04/2018 09:31

I have no urge to spend time with other people’s kids. My own however is fine

Nanny0gg · 26/04/2018 09:31

You don't start off with a 9 year-old, you work up to it!

It doesn't give you any idea at all.

schnubbins · 26/04/2018 09:32

Mine are 19 and 17 now and my idea of a nightmare is to have to mind a baby for any length of time anymore.My SIL is pregnant and I hope I won't be asked because I honestly could not do it.

My Dad used to say that too NoNocharlie but it was "Kids are like farts , you can barely stand your own"

Furano · 26/04/2018 09:32

Other peoples kids are pretty shit though aren't they? Your own are much nicer

Sunafterstorm · 26/04/2018 09:32

Rubbish. Even other people's babies are not the same as your own.

bigKiteFlying · 26/04/2018 09:33

YABU

I had no experience with children before having mine - and I've loved being a Mum and so far the children seem to be doing well.

Only person in RL I’ve know who has said while she loved her DS she hated being a Mum was a nursery worker and previously a Nanny.

She was brilliant with children and had 15 years’ experience of working with them before she had her own. The boy himself was a relatively easy child going child and she had two set of grandparenst who always up for baby sitting even at a moments notice.

adaline · 26/04/2018 09:34

YABU.

Looking after other people's kids is not the same as looking after your own.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/04/2018 09:34

If I’d waited till I was happy and confident and liked other people’s children before having my own
I would be sat here with no children
I have four

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/04/2018 09:35

I’m guessing this person doesn’t think that the sun shines out of the backside of the OP’S PFB

Neverwrestlewithapig · 26/04/2018 09:35

Absolutely @moofolk

Zaphodsotherhead · 26/04/2018 09:36

You know what to do with your own. You know where the boundaries are, what they are likely to do and when, you recognise the 'look' on their face when they are thinking of mischief... you know exactly how shouty you can get before their lower lip starts to wobble and you know where to hide the tech that they won't find it if you need to remove it.

You don't have any of that with a child that isn't yours. And you're always worried that you might do or say something that the DM wouldn't approve of, so you tend to let them get away with murder, while your own would have got a swift telling off.

Hell is other people's kids.

applesisapple5 · 26/04/2018 09:36

To flip the situation, I'd gladly spend all day with my own parent, not so keen on a day out with someone else's! Even more so when I was 9.

Branleuse · 26/04/2018 09:37

Looking after someone elses kid is completely different to having your own.

Are you the parent of the 9 year old?

Enb76 · 26/04/2018 09:37

YABU because other people's children are really annoying. I like my child, not so keen on other people's.

AgnesSkinner · 26/04/2018 09:38

I’d never even held a baby before I had mine. Fortunately I had read the books beforehand so I did at least know which way was right side up.

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