to think it's inappropriate for the TA to try to invite herself to my house?

[TenGinBottles]

DS has a school trip coming up. He can't go because it will make him physically unwell (SN). I spoke to the teacher and asked her what she wanted me to do, call him in sick, take him out for the morning etc

TA called back to say she won't be on the trip and he could go into school after the others have left. Could sit in on the Yr3 class and then do some 1:1 work with her. Then she said maybe it's not a good idea because they're the boys who pick on DS, so he could come in a lesson later. I said I was working from home so could bring him in whenever. I asked what would happen at break time as he would be the only one from his class there, and he is often picked on at break time. Oh. Not a good idea, maybe I could bring him in after break. But then she's only there for one lesson. So I suggested he could do something at home with me. He often does his homework next to me whilst I'm working and they know I have workbooks here for him.

She then said that DS often talks about his toys, so maybe it would be a good idea for her to come and see where he plays and what toys he has
I said no, that wouldn't be convenient since, as I had previously explained, I will be working that morning.

Is it just me or is it totally inappropriate for her to be asking to come and visit our house? She's invited DS to her house before (without asking me) which I also find weird. I just declined and said I didn't think it necessary. We've had issues in the past with the school blaming his SN on our parenting, this has thankfully lessened now that DC2 has started at the school.

Blossomy, If an awful lot of the behaviour comes from the environment, are they unecessarily medicating children then?

I would hope that as a teacher, you are trained to educate my child, not trained to judge my house and its state of repair for our financial state or situation in life. I don't believe PP's question was answered. What does happen if the house is in a state of disrepair?

I fail to see, if you have serious concerns about the welfare of a child, what good a teacher visiting a home can do. It's not like you can take the child home with you or....maybe if you're a TA, you think you can If you have serious concerns, surely you report them to the correct authorities? If you don't have serious concerns, then your argument fails and you have no reason to do home visits.

When my children started school one of the Governor’s, the head and the teacher came to my house before to meet each child in their own environment. I was a bit surprised by it but it happened to every child starting reception.

But this is totally different and not okay. I’m a TA and it is so far removed from safeguarding practice that it’s really difficult to understand what on earth her motives could be.

I don’t understand why you don’t want to raise this with the head in the first instance.

The TA should never have asked your dc to visit her house, this is inappropriate and un boundaried.
However visiting a parent's house isn't that unusual. I lived in areas were a routine pre school attendance visit was done by a member of staff before dc started school. I have also known school support staff rather than teachers visit families homes.

Schools nowadays are part of the wider safeguarding and support system and their role extends well beyond reading and writing. They are expected to do a lot more pastoral work.

Crikey, it's normally the other way round; parents requesting that the TA comes round to do their child's homework with them after school or IN THE HOLIDAYS as they CBA doing it themselves! Obvs gets a flat refusal from school.
If she's particularly pushy ask to see the school's insurance policy for covering staff working at parents' homes (they won't have it) or tell them that your own home insurance doesn't cover non-family conducting business there so it would be invalidated.

This thread has drifted off a bit into discussing teachers visiting children at home.
This is confusing the big red flag issue that the TA was inviting OP’s child into HER OWN home.
Have you reported this yet OP ?

No, not reported yet. Headmaster only works Mondays and Wednesdays.

Sorry for contributing to the derailing of the thread but it's quite an intriguing debate developing. On the topic of the thread, clearly YABU and the TA is being completely inappropriate.

As a social worker I find the idea of teachers or school staff visiting home simply on the basis of having concerns bizarre and a little worrying. An overreach of authority in my book. I agree there are reasons why home visits may be done and I've worked several such cases before, but the reasons were primarily about education.

As a social worker I've worked with a lot of brilliant staff in schools but at times I've also noticed that when some schools don't 'like' a certain family it can become a bit like a vendetta with them. I certainly wouldn't want them thinking they could use home visits to 'gather evidence' or whatever they're meant to be for.

It would certainly be unethical unless they are being completely open to the family about why they want to visit so the family can choose whether to allow them or not on the facts.

Oh FFS I accidentally wrote "As a social worker" twice making me look a right dick.

I think the school sounds just dreadful.

It sounds highly inappropriate and unprofessional... perhaps she's getting herself overly involved as she sees how much the bullying affects your son and she just really cares?
Either way; it's not right and needs reported. Boundaries are there for a reason and she needs to respect that.
Poor DS! What have they done about the bullying?

Honestly I think you could call the school today and say you want the email address of the Designated Safeguarding Lead. And then tell them about the TA a) inviting your ds to her house b) inviting herself to your house, neither with your consent.

This is absolutely a Safeguarding issue. Some bits of Safeguarding in schools are about staff protecting themselves from false allegations, and this member of staff, at the very least, requires urgent and thorough retraining.

Your posts raise other concerns as well, OP. What the hell kind of school just accept that your ds is being bullied?
If teachers think the work is too difficult for your ds, why the hell are they not differentiating for him? They basically admitted their incompetence

she sees how much the bullying affects your son and she just really cares?

If that were the case, why the fuck wouldn't she do anything about it? The only reason they finally did something was because the same boy hit someone else.

DS has also just told me that TA has told him he can stay and do some work with her whilst the others are on the trip I've told him this is not the case and she should not have discussed it with him before discussing it with me because we decided it would be better for him not to be alone at break time. I told him it was wrong of her to confuse him and it wasn't his fault.

OP, there will be a member of the Senior Leadership Team who will be one of the safeguarding officers at school whenever it is open. It doesn’t have to be the Head themselves. I would really recommend calling in today.
Also, this thread has got quite strange.. but OP I have never heard of colleagues paying home visits for the school (EYFS orientation ones sound plausible but schools I know have the child come to them). I really don’t think teachers would be judging your house, parenting or finances. As others have said, it is part of a teachers role to look out of the child’s wellbeing at school and sometimes there have to be liasons with social services, but I don’t think anyone meant to be connecting you or your son to that fact. Sadly there are a lot of children coming in hungry, in dirty clothes, without having slept etc, eg. not having their basic needs met. Does it need to be said that of course this is not the majority? Well, in case it does, of course not the majority! And ultimately, teachers want to look out for the children. My whole rant has nothing to do with your situation OP, more the thread! Hope you get hold of Safeguarding Officer at school.

You need a proper urgent meeting with the head teacher and the senco and safeguarding coordinater.

Personally there are so many issues here of poor judgment and management I would be looking around for another school.

You’re not in the UK, are you, OP? I’m wondering if actually the culture of the country you’re in looks at staff making home visits in a slightly different way to that of the UK?

And I'm wondering if you'll finally answer my questions blossomy...

Blossomy - Where are you getting it from that parents of under 5s have to complete a parenting course before a diagnosis can be considered? The NICE guidelines you linked to above say this, which is not the same at all:

When a child or young person with disordered conduct and suspected ADHD is referred to a school's special educational needs coordinator (SENCO), the SENCO, in addition to helping the child with their behaviour, should inform the parents about local parent-training/education programmes

When our DD was little we lived in the London borough of Hounslow. Before reception started, EVERY child was visited at home by the teacher which was a massive undertaking by the local authority. I accept it would have been uncomfortable for some however it was used as a way to spot signs of possible neglect which did not include the house being untidy. I believe this was introduced after the tragic deaths of children who had been neglected.

This aside, it is not appropriate for any member of staff to have those conversations with your DS OP, regardless of what position they hold.

home visits are NOT to 'spot signs of possible neglect' though, they are for reception children to have met the teacher before the start of the new term.
HOnestly, the shite that people come out with...
irrelevant to the OP anyway.

Teachers visiting the homes or current childcare settings of children entering Reception class is fairly normal. Especially if the children aren't attending a school based nursery. Teachers or specialist staff having scheduled visits to the family home if a child is absent long term for health or school refusal issues is also normal.

Since none of these situations is the one facing the OP they are wholly irrelevant.

OP - if your son is being bullied and assaulted are the school following their approved policies in dealing with it? If not then a formal complaint under the complaints procedure might be necessary.

Any school trip should include an assessment of additional needs of pupils and reasonable adjustments that could be made. If there are no reasonable adjustments that can be made to meet the needs of individual students then those students should be able to attend school as normal where they should have learning activities that are supervised properly. They should not be disadvantaged by missing out on their education. If the off-site trip meets particular learning objectives then opportunities to achieve those learning objectives should also be made available to pupils unable to attend the trip.

The TA has behaved in a bizarre and unprofessional way and the HT needs to know about it for the safety and wellbeing of ALL pupils

Perhaps you could redirect your comment to the local authority Four, rather than accusing me of talking shite is what we were advised. What a charmer you are.

[that] is what we were advised...