I need some clarity here. I’m quite introverted and have had a lot of mental health issues, diagnosed with depression, anxiety and MPD but with a lot of help these have been manageable. Finally got myself out on the horse after so many years and back into a nighttime access education course to pursue a career I’ve always wanted.
The course is counselling/psychology. On the first day we were put into ‘peer groups’ groups of 4 who we would do activity work with. From day one this man (he’s gay and always really friendly and funny with everyone else) has made it clear he doesn’t like me. Giving me the cold shoulder, won’t speak to me unless forced, when forced to speak to me won’t look me in the eyes, very dry with me and won’t give me answers if I try to speak to him. It was very awkward but I put it off as everyone being new and still getting to know each other.
It’s been a month and a half now and things might have kicked off tonight before class. We were both early and He was being his normal dry self with me, not looking at me or really answering etc then he complaining about possibly not completing the course, I asked why as he was doing so well. He ignored me, I repeated my ‘why’ and he turned to me, gave me one of the ugliest glares and snapped “I’m not talking about it! I’ve already talked about it with ‘Abby’!” Name of another woman in our group, not her real one btw.
That kind of made me snap. I just felt this horrible bundle of emotion in my chest and I blurted out “Can I ask you something? What’s your problem with me? Why don’t you like me?” He looked shocked and then said something along the lines of “Well, that’s a harsh question...” and I replied with “Not really a yes or no would do.” And he said “Well it’s not a yes or no question.” At that point I just gave up and said “I’ll take that as a yes then.” Which made him look at me with complete disgust and said “We’re in class. I don’t think now is the time.” And turn away.
I genuinely don’t know what I’ve done to this man to be treated like this. I understand not everyone will like or even tolerate me but it’s like this man has gone out of his way to make me feel like dirt. He doesn’t even give me the common courtesy of looking at me when speaking, I feel so tiny when it boils down to speaking in the group.
Can someone tell me if I’ve done something? Or what would you do in this situation? I hate the awkwardness and the lump in my throat this confrontation has caused but it’s made me feel so bad and has started to kill whatever small but if confidence I had left. I also feel like an idiot for my outburst and don’t know what to do about it. Really feel like walking away from the course. 