To ask for the benefits of living alone

[TheScandinavian]

This is me soon, after leaving a abusive relationship. I have a DD, never lived alone before. Went straight from my parents home to marriage.

Please tell me the perks of living alone

God, everything!! I hated sharing my house and bed with a bloke! Lived on my own with ds (12) for 10 years and I wouldn’t change it. I love being able to watch what I want on the tv, not have to consult anybody else about furniture, food, wallpaper etc. I wouldn’t change it ever.

You can sit in silence with your thoughts for as long as you like, without someone interrupting you with a story you don't want to hear!

Tansie My Ex wasn’t abusive! Just errr male but I think the OP’s is, yes. Not everyone who has responded had an abusive partner, either, by the sounds of it.

Bit more to it than that Tansie but if you’re happily married I understand your stance

I echo everything said will never live with a man again maybe have sex go on holiday go to,the shops have a great time but no shared domestic arrangements ever

Funny Tansie, because I have read this thread as loads of women in normal partnerships would actually love to live alone, were life different. Perhaps you're just a bit more social than I am! I love my DH, and he is not abusive, but I think domestically my world would be easier without him, quite frankly. Emotionally, no, and I love his company most of the time, but if I could have that and also maintain my own space that would be ideal, frankly. I think lots of women secretly feel like that!

You also have space to think and be quiet if you want to. No having to make conversation with another person. You can totally indulge who you are and not have to worry how it affects others

I can do what I want, when I want, how I want. It's bliss!

Like many others here, I was in an abusive marriage. I've revelled in the luxury of my own space for 11 years now, and I have no desire ever to share my home with a man again.

I'm an anti-social git with ASD and I love beautiful silence. I like playing mystery games on my kindle of an evening whileDD watches Cookie Swirl C on YouTube. No -one judges us. It's wonderful and I think I will look back on these as my calmest and happiest days.

• Not having to be an unwilling audience for manflu theatricals.

• Having an excuse to go to the cinema by yourself (I can't be the only one..?)

• Sit in your favourite spot: every time.

• No-one wrecking furniture or cushions by falling onto them without engaging their leg muscles.

• An end to the Quilt Wars.

I love my DP, but I also would love to sleep in my own bed and have ALL the space, not 40% of it.

Nice bedding
Comfy big pants
Things being where you left them
What have what you want TV
Less than half the washing
Eat what you want when you want
Decorate the house how you like
Stay in bed as long as you like
Get a cat/dog/chicken/fish/gerbil without any arguments
Pack for just yourself when you go on holiday
Only buy presents for your family and friends

I spent 6 years on my own 4 of which my daughter was at college and the uni and it was very hard to learn to share again when I met my new partner.....however I did now have the strength to set ground rules for what I wanted and not just keep the peace

Tansie as I have said, I have never been in an abusive relationship. I just prefer being single. I don't like other adults in my space. As much as you say you can do what you want, being in a relationship does involve compromise and joint decisions. You wouldn't just book a holiday/decide to decorate your house etc without discussing it with your partner, would you? That's the difference. I don't want to be consulting another person before I make a big decision.

though note that, across MN, you tend to read of loneliness, social isolation, anxiety, wondering if you'll ever be close to anyone again; as opposed to reading about the iamazing freedoms of being alone )yet, again, viewed through the prism of ' I've ditched that bastard'

But that's because people who are happy being alone are hardly likely to start a thread about how happy they are, much the same as the relationship board is full of threads regaling unhappy relationships. You don't see many threads posted about how happy someone is in their relationship, well other than on threads about the advantages of being single, where there always seems to be someone jump in to defend their wonderful relationship.

Happily lived alone for almost 20 years, no history of abusive relationships, just prefer being single and all that has to offer.

He just asked me where his watch is, even though it was in EXACT same place he put it last night. He's lazy and expects everything to be handed to him, ugh.

To be fair, if my ex was asked the same question, he would probably say: Thank God.....

• 3 course meals and Waitrose wine every night
• No children
• No-one washing things
• No-one ironing things
• No-one cleaning the sink
• No-one complaining that the loo was dirty again
• No-one watching a film when the football/tennis/snooker/rugby/cricket/cycling was on.
• No-one doing homework
• No-one insisting on doing the school run when he wanted sex

"@Gwenhwyfar - you've never been in an abusive relationship I presume."

No, but the OP is about 'living alone' not living not in an abusive relationship. Are all the posters in abusive relationships then?
I also don't understand how someone with a child is living alone...

Not having to justify yourself No egg shells.Everythibg in the right place.No mess that you are not allowed to clear because he will do it,still there a month later.No threats,fear,silent treatment.White sheets and sleeping starshaped f you want.Sitting in the sun until it's gone and not having to go inside early to cook a meal you don't really want.To be able to cook and eat what you want.Ti wander round in PJ's all day.To relax,to breath and to realise that the knot you had in your stomach for years has gone.To not have to pretend that all is ok to the outside world,to relearn who you are and that you are OK.

*@Gwenhwyfar - you've never been in an abusive relationship I presume."

I posted that in answer to you not understanding how a grown adult can't eat or watch what they want. If you'd ever been in an abusive relationship you wouldn't have to ask that question.

"If you'd ever been in an abusive relationship you wouldn't have to ask that question."

But the opening title is about living alone. I suppose that question is misleading then.