My adult son has his own place.
I brought both my children up on my own an we're close but I'm also careful to make sure I am not an annoying mother who calls and texts too much.
I pop in once a week, with him letting me know which day as he has early and late finishes and if convenient.
Sometimes, if he's not sure of his hours, I'll say to text when he knows.
Guaranteed, I won't hear from him. I used to text to remind him but stopped after a while as I felt I was chasing. We make plans for some weekends but I'm never quite sure if he will be there on time or will just generally drag his heels or try and get me to pick him up, even if it's a 20 mile round trip in the wrong direction from where we're going, even though we agreed he'd come on the train and meet at the station. It doesn't cost anymore for the forward journey for a number of destinations, so no loss to him.
Just to mention, I've done everything for my children. Helped and supported them, put them first and always say how proud I am.
My daughter was a victim of a serious crime and even though at times, I've wanted to be a panicky, over protective mother, I've gritted my teeth and made sure I have let them live their lives.
Thursday we went out for a meal (no negotiation over turning up as it was my daughter's birthday), had a lovely time.
He said he'd come over today as he knew my daughter was away but he said he would call/text before to make final plans. We had something in mind.
No call or text. I called last night. No answer. I called this morning. He eventually called me back and said he had stuff to do and I could come to him later if I wanted to. He knows I'm coming over later anyway as I'm meeting friends. So we've gone from day out to come over to me much later as you're around anyway (I'd already told him I would drop him home).
It's every single time! He messes me about, doesn't reply, doesn't answer his phone and if he does call me back, it's to mess me about some more.
His father hasn't bothered with either of the children for years and I know that they deserve better but he's got better, he's got me!
I was angry this morning at yet another let down. I went out for a walk and thought I'll see how I feel and now I feel really down and upset at this happening again.
I should probably give him a taste of his own medicine but with the dismal way his father treated him, I don't like the thought of doing this. A young adult should be able to rely on their mother but he's pushing all my buttons!