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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my son in girl's clothes?

194 replies

Embarassed123 · 22/04/2018 07:57

I'm a SAHM to DS who is 4 months old. He was an unplanned but very wanted addition to the family. We also have an older DD who is 3.

Finances are pretty tight at the moment, as although we did eventually plan to have 2 children, we weren't expecting to quite this soon! So far, I've been dressing DS in white babygros, but it's looking like he'll need new clothes soon.

I have all of DD's clothes from when she was a baby, and I was wondering if it would be mean to put DS in them? They are perfectly good clothes (no dresses as I find them impractical on small children, but loads of flowery tops and some trousers.

WIBU to put DS in some of the least offending outfits instead of spending money I don't have buying him a whole new wardrobe? I know random strangers would assume he's a girl, but in that case I could just roll with it.
Honest answers please, I need to know if I'm being mean even considering it.....

OP posts:
SmallestInTheClass · 22/04/2018 08:58

Yes it's fine. Personally I'd avoid the really frilly stuff and dresses, but a bit of pink and flowers is fine. You could buy new but even if you cam afford it, what a waste.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 22/04/2018 08:59

I love giving and getting a good bag of kids clothes and pass on all my stuff too
But I know some folk really don’t like it and wouldn’t do it
I wouldn’t call it hand me downs sounds a bit Dickensian and ragged

PinkyBlunder · 22/04/2018 08:59

Well flipping it on it’s head, my girls wear boys clothes often (usually hand me downs too!). I wonder if those posters with a problem about putting boys in girls clothes, would have a problem with this?

youngnomore · 22/04/2018 08:59

Jam- exactly

Cynderella · 22/04/2018 09:00

I had three boys and then a girl and reused all of the baby clothes I had. Friends bought/gave me girly clothes, but she was usually dressed in boyish clothes. OP's situation is no different really.

jamoncrumpets · 22/04/2018 09:00

I'm in awe of all the people on here that can afford all new wardrobes for each new baby. My DH is a decent earner but I still have a hamper full of DS's clothes that I fully intend to dress DD in. It doesn't make sense to me to buy all new things when I could spend that money on essentials or even a nice day out for both kids.

MrsDesireeCarthorse · 22/04/2018 09:01

I would. Do you go to baby groups? My one passes clothes around to everyone.

BarbaraManatee · 22/04/2018 09:01

We've done similar with our 3rd, but the other way around. We've got 2 older DSs & a DD so she often wears "boys" clothes. DS2 loves pink so we do have a few pink things, plus what family members buy for us & some hand-me-downs from friends. I'm not a girly-girl though so wouldn't have put her in flowery things even if she was our first. In fact, she needed some cooler clothes for this hot weather & we didn't have much so went & chose something from Tesco - we both raised an eyebrow when the cute animal-themed yellow/orange/beige top came up on the till as "boys'". She looks adorable in it though!

jamoncrumpets · 22/04/2018 09:01

I read recently that, on average, we only reuse 5% of the clothes we buy. That's absolutely shocking waste.

jamoncrumpets · 22/04/2018 09:02

If you buy reasonably gender neutral clothes in the first place this stops being a problem, btw... Grin

Idontdowindows · 22/04/2018 09:03

Your baby doesn't care. He doesn't even know that they "girl clothes".

It was completely normal when I was young to hand clothes down no matter what the sex of the baby, because it honestly makes no difference and it's good financial sense not to buy all that shit all over again.

Jenasaurus · 22/04/2018 09:04

Just a thought but as a parenting site maybe someone on here has the opposite scenario and you could swap clothes. I wouldn't worry about putting him in your DDs clothes at this age though

chocatoo · 22/04/2018 09:04

I have to say I wouldn’t use the really girlie stuff. I would consider removing bows, etc and experimenting with some fabric dye.

N2986 · 22/04/2018 09:05

I wouldn't personally. Go on Freecycle if you're skint. I'd happily hand over loads of baby clothes to someone in need. I have zillions of girls things to get rid of right now, but all my ds's clothes were passed on to someone else.

velourvoyageur · 22/04/2018 09:07

My mum explicitly told me she'd dressed me in hand-me-downs inc. stuff that had belonged to my male cousin. They could afford not to but were environment-conscious and I believe the thought process was roughly: 'oh look - our child also has the arms and legs required to make this outfit work, fancy that!' Cue loads of photos of me in clothes you wouldn't find in the girls' section.
Fortunately my parents also raised me to be robust enough not to make ridiculous assumptions about it which would go on to ruin my self esteem as an adult!
Surely all that situation would call for is a bit of a work on the kid's resilience and critical thinking skills...

shakespereslife · 22/04/2018 09:08

I'm an only but when I was born my parents were attempting to start their own business and things were financially tight. I was dressed in all sorts of 2nd hand boys and girls clothes that were passed on from their friends and relatives. I look back at photos of my childhood now and don't care one dot how I was dressed. All I remember about that time is being happy and loved, and I'm glad that they didn't waste their limited money buying me new stuff.

Kokapetl · 22/04/2018 09:09

I deliberately buy clothes for DC1 that will also work for DC2 and they are different sexes. DC2 wears some things of the opposite gender but mostly wears neutral stuff. They both have pink dinosaur PJs!

Justwanttoweeinpeace · 22/04/2018 09:09

Go for it.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 22/04/2018 09:10

I didn’t buy girl or boy, baby clothes.i bought in white,yellow,neutral colours

DancingHipposOnAcid · 22/04/2018 09:11

I did exactly this with DS until he was around 4. Used all babygros in all colours and the least girly stuff for daytime when he was a toddler onwards. Though I went pretty unisex on a lot of DD's stuff anyway - remember the girl on the till at H&M being rather confused when I presented to her a selection of girly flowery stuff and blue trousers etc from the boys section. She asked if I have twins! Grin

He's now a hefty 6'1 16 yo and he just laughs when he sees the photos of him in the flowery Winnie the Pooh pyjamas (his favourite by the way!). No sign of gender dysphoria or catching the gay! Wink

Joanna57 · 22/04/2018 09:11

My personal choice would be NO, definitely not.

Plenty of cheap baby clothes in charity shops. Or do swaps with friends/family. Or sell on ebay/gumtree/facebook, the ones that you have, and buy the right sizes.

Personally, I think this topic is just a goady one.

reallyanotherone · 22/04/2018 09:15

I grew up in the 70’s.

In my baby pictures i am almost exclusively dressed in brown and orange dungaree outfits. As a toddler this expanded to red and brown polo necks with nylon trousers. Dresses were considered impractical and they were special occasions only.

I don’t think i was harmed in any way. I remember hating the polo neck/trouser outfits because they were itchy scratchy rather than any sartorial issue. I don’t feel any particular issue over being mistaken for a boy until i was 12 either.

summerinthecountry · 22/04/2018 09:16

I don't think it matters either way

ClinkyMonkey · 22/04/2018 09:16

He's a little baby and he's being well cared for. That is all that matters. You're right that some people (whose assumptions are an irrelevance) might think he's a girl, but, as you say, just go with it. All babies are baldy. My DS was constantly mistaken for a girl because I put him in red or green. I was not offended and, strangely enough, neither was he!

Parker231 · 22/04/2018 09:16

Baby clothes aren’t girls clothes or boys clothes, they are just clothes. It really annoys me when people say they couldn’t possibly have their DS dressed in clothes passed down from their older DD.

I have b/g DT’s. They worn babygros. I didn’t check who was wearing blue, white, pink, green etc. They worn whichever I picked up first.

For those who wouldn’t, why not ?

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