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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my son in girl's clothes?

194 replies

Embarassed123 · 22/04/2018 07:57

I'm a SAHM to DS who is 4 months old. He was an unplanned but very wanted addition to the family. We also have an older DD who is 3.

Finances are pretty tight at the moment, as although we did eventually plan to have 2 children, we weren't expecting to quite this soon! So far, I've been dressing DS in white babygros, but it's looking like he'll need new clothes soon.

I have all of DD's clothes from when she was a baby, and I was wondering if it would be mean to put DS in them? They are perfectly good clothes (no dresses as I find them impractical on small children, but loads of flowery tops and some trousers.

WIBU to put DS in some of the least offending outfits instead of spending money I don't have buying him a whole new wardrobe? I know random strangers would assume he's a girl, but in that case I could just roll with it.
Honest answers please, I need to know if I'm being mean even considering it.....

OP posts:
TrudeauGirl · 22/04/2018 08:13

I don't think clothes should be gendered anyway. So a boy will be fine in a floral top :-) he's young anyway. If he was older and saying no to floral tops that would be different, but a baby is fine.

PlumsGalore · 22/04/2018 08:13

It depends what it was. A pink babygrow? Possibly. A dress? No.

FranklinDelano · 22/04/2018 08:17

Two of my sons have worn a romper with elephants on. It happens that the colours are green and purple and there are patterns on including hearts, so I imagine intended for girls (although I'm quite cross that 'purple' is often seen as a girl's colour). No one cares though, it's a cute romper.

Facebook selling groups are good for baby bundles.

NotAnotherJaffaCake · 22/04/2018 08:18

Yes, I did similar. Most of DD’s stuff wasn’t overly girly but I had no problem doing it. I think it’s a shocking waste to buy new clothes just because they are the wrong colour. And I bet far fewer people would have a problem putting a girl in boy’s baby clothes.

FranklinDelano · 22/04/2018 08:18

Some of my dh's shirts are flowery too...

thiskitten · 22/04/2018 08:18

Of course YNBU!
We tried to buy lots of gender neutral stuff for our first born - and even though there is still A LOT of blue going on, people still assume he's a girl.
However I wouldn't put any photos of him in the really pink frilly stuff on social media- as he might not thank you for that in future!

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 22/04/2018 08:19

They are just clothes, so long as they fit and they are weather appropriate there isn't a problem. Sadly people will comment, they may think he could catch "girl."

DragonMummy1418 · 22/04/2018 08:19

I have all of ds's clothes from 0-1 year so what ever sex this baby is, it's going in his old clothes! 🙈
The baby doesn't know or care.

velourvoyageur · 22/04/2018 08:20

And we wonder where the current explosion of anxiety about gender comes from.
Either stop policing children's appearance or consider yourself part of the problem which causes this anxiety.

Lemontart25 · 22/04/2018 08:20

I echo those saying looking on cheap local selling sites & offer swaps with your girl clothes or sell them to buy for your son.

Whilst it's not cruel I do think when he grows up he will feel very much the 'unplanned' baby seeing himself in his sister's clothes. Not his fault he was a welcome addition earlier than expected so personally I think you should do whatever it takes to get him afew pieces of his own. And before anyone shouts me down I LOVE pink even neon Grin on my son's!

overmydeadbody · 22/04/2018 08:20

The dad thing is more people would be saying it's fine if it was the other way round.

Somehow it's more acceptable for a girl to dress in boys clothes then a boy to dress in girls clothes, sending the message that boy things are better than girl things.

It shouldn't matter what a baby wears as long as they are warm, clean and comfortable.

BossWitch · 22/04/2018 08:21

I will be reusing a lot of my dd's clothes for baby #2, regardless of sex. I'm going to need to be careful with money as not planning on going back to work straight away after this one, but also because I hate the idea of the amount of landfill waste generated by "needing" new clothes for each baby because the bits between it's legs are different! I'm not keen on overly gendered clothing anyway so not that much is very girly, but I really can't see the issue with a 3 month old baby boy wearing a t-shirt with a flower or a strawberry on it!

Also - he'll look at the photos and wonder what was going on? So? Tell him the family were a bit broke at the time and needed to reuse clothes!

ItWentInMyEye · 22/04/2018 08:21

My youngest DS is 5 and I sometimes put him my DDs old (fab condition) leggings! Admittedly only plain navy/grey etc but you using 'girl' clothes on your baby wouldn't bother me.

SaturdaySauv · 22/04/2018 08:22

Of course it’s fine!

ElephantsYeah · 22/04/2018 08:23

I had some Babygros handed down from dniece with gorgeous flowers on. DS looked beautiful in the flowery Babygrows, I loved them on him.

TheHulksPurplePants · 22/04/2018 08:25

I inherited a tonne of "girls" baby clothes from a friend before we knew what DS was going to be. To be honest I used most of them with him, and then I used them and all that I'd bought for him with my DD.

Most of the stuff she gave me was pretty gender neutral, pants, baby grows, etc. She actually gave me a lovely Ralph Lauren baby outfit (vest, jacket, pants & hat) in light pink with teddy bears. Yes DS & DD wore that. It was too good not to use!

BlurryFace · 22/04/2018 08:25

Despite there being no little girls to get hand me downs from, DS1 and DS2 have both ended up with girls clothes - due to me and DH picking up clothes from charity shops and not noticing minute flower details. It's fine, honestly. They also have a bright pink slide as it was all the shop had and pink bedding.

justabunchofbunting · 22/04/2018 08:26

My son has loads of girls clothing! I dont think it really matters until they actually express a preference. I have avoided putting him in frilly dresses to be fair... but he does have lots of girls t shirts and leggings. He loves glitter so gravitates towards tshirts that are glittery.
Hes only a toddler. I tried to use a big variety of clothing when he was a baby just in case it did have any effect on how rigidly he would view gender. I dont want him to grow up to associate anything feminine with being stupid or weak.

Its quite good because now im pregnant with a girl and so actually dont really need to but that much new clothing can re use all of DS stuff.

Maybe as he gets older he will start picking out specific clothing that he likes that may be more masculine.... but I think its good to give them a variety of stuff when they are very young just so you know you arent forcing any certain way of thinking about how to express themselves on them.... I mean thats how I view it anyway.
So I think you are fine to re use the girls stuff until he actually starts choosing clothing himself!

liz70 · 22/04/2018 08:27

What's macho about a baby? Who says flowers are just for girls? Go right ahead!

callies · 22/04/2018 08:28

No, I wouldn’t, and I’m well aware that the fact I wouldn’t is stupid.

Aridane · 22/04/2018 08:28

I dunno

snewname · 22/04/2018 08:28

The baby won't know however a word of warning, my dfather still talks about being dressed in a dress in baby photos. They were old fashioned romper suit and yonks ago but it has stayed with him. Attitudes have changed but if there are likely to be photos then your ds might not like it in years to come.

Personally I'd look at buying bundles on eBay or car boot sales.

ProseccoPoppy · 22/04/2018 08:30

For me it is yes for babygros, no for outfits (dresses or the very “girly” frilly rompers DH’s aunt kept giving us). Also don’t ,and won’t spend unnecessary money. DS is wearing a lot of lemon coloured babygros as I luckily went (fairly) neutral for my now 2 yo DD. For the bigger sizes (so once we are looking at dresses etc) I have swapped some clothes with a woman at toddler group who has a toddler DS and baby DD. Worked well for both of us! Could you do that?

BlurryFace · 22/04/2018 08:31

Oh yeah, and my mum "had a feeling" I was a boy, so she stocked up on boy clothes. I wore exclusively boy clothes for the first year/year and a half of my life. In retrospect my mother only had herself to blame when I tantrummed at having to wear horrible party dresses.

Dancingmonkey87 · 22/04/2018 08:33

No sorry I wouldn’t try primark or he charity shops or gum tree you only need several outfits to swap between.