My refusal to be God parent 20 years ago!

[Pettynotvindictive]

I'm not religious.

I don't have any issue with people following religion, I'll respect your choice but it's not for me.

20 years ago, a friend asked me to be God parent. I was flattered and politely told them no and just said if you need me to look after the baby if anything happens, I just would. I don't need a ceremony to ensure it!

I don't attend church (nor did they).

Said friend has now told me she can't believe I knocked her back.

I should've just said yes and got on with it, God parent is a honorary role not a serious one.

Now, I've been part of this child's life. Our kids were raised together but now this has really fucked me off. Maybe I'm being touchy but if you don't believe, should you fake?

Or is she a dick?

I agreed to be a godparent then did nothing and feel cross they asked me, knowing I was a non-church goer. I think it was to have 'someone' for the DCs if something happened to a parent or parent. Initially I bought Xmas gifts for one set until age 18 the other I never saw again as we lived other ends of the country. It left me with a lot of guilt and I wish I'd said no. DH was also god parent but has no qualms about doing nothing.

I think you did the right thing OP. If you don’t believe then being a Godparent involves saying things that you don’t actually believe in.

I don’t understand why people do this - probably some idea about tradition? I’m a Christian and it is a bit annoying with some baptism families whom we try to make welcome, but they are plainly there for a bit of a party and disrupt the rest of the service for everyone else.

I am married to an agnostic and he was happy for DD to be baptised (the C of E also offers a service of thanksgiving for the birth of a child which we could have done instead). He stood with me and just didn’t say the parts of the service he didn’t agree with. We agreed that choosing actual Christian Godparents was important, so that’s what we did. The role is about showing the child how to grow in faith so I don’t see how someone who doesn’t believe can do that.

The parental responsibility thing should something happen to us is a different matter. As it happens, when we eventually get our wills sorted should something happen to us we would like for DD to go to two of the Godparents and join their family as they have very similar parenting style to us. And not to my brother’s family who are very different. But that is totally separate from being Godparents

Skinnyboneylittlepony - in answer to your question; read the Creed.

No talking donkeys or murdering of Gays.

Some of us may also be a bit "mmm, yeh" about other bits too, but that's our problem, and it doesn't negate the whole thing.