To ask what's an adult problem that nobody prepared you for?

[Midge1978]

For me it's keeping the bathroom clean. I don't think I ever saw my mother clean hers but it was always immaculate and rosey smelling. I can't seem to keep on top of the mould monster in mine!

Sosadforhim.... Thankyou🌷

Where do I start? Cleaning for sure - my parents were not terribly tidy and so (now that spring is here & with it more light) I think “why are there cobwebs on my ceiling” and am unsure how often other people dustmop their damn ceilings, clean the loo top to bottom etc.

On a more distressing level no one ever talked to me about love, what men want, what sneaky bastards some of them can be, how to attract and suss out a good one, what to do when your husband turns into an emotionally and financially abusive alcoholic. This has all been a big struggle for me and much of it could have been avoided if I’d been taught boundaries and been told I was worth more.

Menopause lol.

How pointless and meaningless it all is. You never please anyone, least of all your mother, your boss or your husband. When you are a child, adults pretend you can do anything you want to and then eventually you realise it’s all a giant con. You will be raped, ripped off, constantly criticised and left for dead.

Watching my DMum get cancer and fade away until she committed suicide due to the pain. Watching DDad get dementia and go through hell trying to remember the simplest things and his personality and quality of life totally disintegrating over ten years. Seeing both parents after they have died and trying to make arrangements for their funeral when all you want to do is scream and hide away for the next six weeks. Siblings suddenly appearing when they haven't been near either parent for five years and trying to look like they give a shit and get involved in those arrangements!
The menopause. Trying to understand why your bones feel like they are on fire and yet your flesh is cold. Sweating all night every night and getting no sleep at all until you finally give in and take HRT just to get some sleep and some semblance of your life back. The mood swings, hair loss, red face, sweating and just wanting to cry 24/7. Chucking the bedclothes off because you are roasting and then being freezing 30 seconds later on repeat for months on end. It sucks entirely.

Smudge, dude, you sound incredibly low

The sheer boredom of repetitive household tasks. Also boredom at work once you know what you are doing and there are no new challenges. Thank goodness for interesting hobbies.

That once you had your first cuddly little baby, you would be a mother worrying about your children for the rest of your life. Even when they are approaching 40
That bunions would severely limit my choice of footwear eventually!

The relentless non stop of it all with no one to help

How repetitive and boring life actually. Same stuff different day

I digress but one of my all time favourite "Dad" moments was my 24 year old daughter ringing up and saying "Dadddy, I need some help with the real world" and no it wasn't money. Felt needed again. Can't remember what it was even, maybe the gas or the bank.

Realising that the crappy decisions you make about which university course to take define your career future.

Realising that actually being 16-21 was the best time because it was fulll of anticipation about what adulthood would be and the excitement it could bring. Getting to the stage where you are stagnant in your job, own a house, married and have kids and although that's what you wanted at 18 wonder where the excitement has gone. Can't seek excitement as am settled. Grrr

Paying taxes. I hate it.

Needing a podiatrist to cut my toenails ( and it’s so expensive).
How so little is known about conditions such as Fibromyalgia and Giant Cell Arteritis so no effective treatment is available and you just have to cope with more pain and less energy than the average person and because the conditions are invisible you feel guilty making excuses when you can’t keep an appointment or make plans.
What a blessing it is when young not to know what lies ahead because I don’t think many of us would want to carry on living into adulthood and older age

How quick time flies. I'm sure last week it was Christmas.

That hangovers and children don't mix.

That even though you work hard you still won't be a millionaire

That kids whine and whinge a lot.

That having your own house is hard work (esp when you don't have the money to repair things)

When your toddler is having nappy free time after a bath, does a MASSIVE liquid shit and river dances it through the whole of the upstairs before you can catch him.

icanttakemuchmore I'm so sorry to read your post. I feel awful that mine was so light hearted. Sending you and your family lots of love and best wishes

Having kids, especially with sn.

DIscovering that there are numerous things that apparently need cleaning that I never knew about (skirting boards - really!!!). And, as others have said too, the sheer unrelenting mundane nature of "stuff that has to be done"!

Watching my daughter suffer severe mental health problems and discovering that I (just about) had the strength to cope.

Watching anxiously over my younger daughter hoping she does not suffer too, aware that my resilience is drained and fearful that I would not cope again.

The unbelievable sadness of seeing my parents (who have always been my rock) old, frail and needing me to be strong for them.

Some days, I don't want to adult.

Not being able to afford to buy a house. I'd just assumed it would be fine and easy until i grew up and went yeah....about that...

This thread should be depressing but reading it has made me feel much better-thought I was getting it wrong but it appears everyone is finding adulthood a bit shit.

The jealousy of watching other people have parents and family, and having normal relationships with them. It doesn't bother me often but sometimes it gets to me as without my husband and his family I'd have no one.

The anxiety that comes with having a child with additional needs.

I agree, Headinthedrawer. I don't remember ever before seeing such a unifying, non-judgmental thread on Mumsnet. Perversely comforting.

Sorry Sockunicorn to hear that.
It is terrible how some Brother’s and Sisters don’t care to help in times of need.